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drabbles and beliefs

Sunday, June 28, 2009

It has already been two weeks when i entered the University of the Philippines as a BS Chemical Engineering freshman.
Well, what can i say?
I'm enjoying it.

Math17. [college algebra and trigonometry]
Chem16. [general chemistry]
Kas1. [kasaysayan ng pilipinas]
Eng11. [literature and society]
Socsci3. [exploring gender and sexuality]
These are my subjects for this semester. And yes, i am enjoying every single one of them.
Including my math17.

BS Chem eng'g was my first choice but i really didn't have any idea as to what this field is all about. when i filled out the UPCAT form [that was before i went to argentina for a year] i was having a difficulty in choosing a course.
i did not know what to take up.
i thought that since i'm inclined to science, it would be best to take up something related to science.
but i also love english. and literature. and communication.
science and lit don't actually go hand in hand.
i was browsing through the net, hoping that something would just appear... something that would help me in choosing what course to take up.
then the field of engineering caught my attention.
oh, i know about engineering and its strong link with mathematics.
it is an intimidating field after all.
among the subjects that i've known from elementary and highschool, mathematics is my waterloo. [well, actually, Filipino is my weakest subject but since it doesn't have anything to do with what i'm trying to say, let's just not consider it for now.]
not that i'm THAT bad at it. it's just that i'm not THAT good at it either.
i'm pretty average. i can say that.
but the thing is that i really like excelling. when i don't excel, i feel bad about myself.
a friend once told me that excelling is not everything. well, yes, i know that. failure, after all, is not falling down but staying down.
well, let's get back to mathematics, shall we?
anyway, math is my waterloo. i admit that.
not that i hate math. i actually like it.
let's just say that it's a sort of a love-hatred on-off relationship. LOL.
if i fear math, it would have been better since it would be like facing my fears. but i don't fear math. it's just not my strongest point.
and that is what actually pushed me to write "BS Chemical Engineering" on the space for my first choice. [aside from the fact that i love chemistry]
math is my waterloo. but i don't hate my waterloo. so i thought, why not make use of that waterloo and turn it into a fortress?
crazy me, i know.
speaking of waterloo, i mentioned that Filipino is actually my weakness, right? but take a look at my subjects...
i have KAS1.
kasaysayan ng pilipinas.
wondering why i enlisted in that subject?
ever since my elementary days i disliked HeKaSi [heograpiya, kasaysayan at sining]... i dislike anything that has to do with memorizing all those dates. i mean, what am i going to do with this katipunero's birthdate after all??
i enlisted for KAS1 because i just want to change my notion regarding kasaysayan.
history has always been stigmatized. it has always been deemed as boring.
but history is not boring.
it is like a novel of the adventures of the past. a long, long novel, yes. but a novel nonetheless. filled with symbolisms and figures of speech and developed characters and intricate plotlines...
i know all that but i haven't confirmed it yet.
and now, i am going to.

i can't help but think of the next ten years to come. the thing is that i don't know what i want to do with my life. i don't even know if i really want to be a chemical engineer.
well, yes. i want to try being a chemical engineer. but for the rest of my life?
i don't know.
i just know that i want adventure. i want spontaneity.
it just came to me that choosing what course to take up is one of the most difficult decisions to make.
i quite envy those people who already know what to do with their lives. those people who don't waver in their belief that what they want is what they really want. those people who already know where their hearts are...
i don't know where my heart is.
well, maybe i don't have to know. maybe i just have to put my heart where i want it to be.
after all, when you're lost, you just have to make the place you're lost in feel like home.
you are the captain after all.

12:25 PM
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saccharine spice

[+] full-time UP Diliman BS Chemical Engineering student
[+] 50% Filipina (by citizenship) 50% Chinese (by blood)
[+] true-blue argentine kiddo
[+] bookworm
[+] mangaddicted
[+] trilingual (filipino, english, spanish)
[+] aspiring writer
[+] appreciates learning and beauty
[+] dreamer
[+] traveller at heart
[+] linguist wanna-be (at least 5 languages!)
[+] looks at the world through multicolored glasses

esteemed authors

in order as dictated by my memory

+ neil gaiman
+ michael crichton
+ sidney sheldon
+ stephen king
+ jeffery deaver
+ caleb carr
+ kathy reisch
+ christopher pike
+ chuck palahniuk
+ clive staples lewis
+ john katzenbach
+ john ronald reuel tolkien
+ anne rice
+ peter beere
+ heather graham
+ richie tankersley cusick
+ ian fleming
+ chris wooding
+ patricia cornwell
+ mary higgins clark
+ stephen coonts
+ vladimir nabokov
+ agatha christie
+ robert lawrence stine
+ dean koontz
+ john grisham
+ jonathan kellerman
+ paulo coehlo
+ roald dahl
+ lewis carroll
+ sir james matthew barrie
+ frank baum
+ mark twain
+ michael connelly
+ arthur conan doyle
+ edgar allan poe
+ piers anthony
+ clive barker
+ tamora pierce
+ mary wollstonecraft shelley
+ bram stoker
+ dan brown
+ edith wharton
+ sue grafton
+ william blatty

anime/manga

as far as i can recall, these are the animes/mangas that i've read and/or watched. currently still incomplete. blame my memory.

[] one piece
[] battle royale
[] get backers
[] death note
[] bleach
[] ouran highschool host club
[] gatekeepers
[] blood +
[] black cat
[] fushigi yuugi
[] ayashi no ceres
[] full metal panic
[] full metal alchemist
[] fruits basket
[] flame of recca
[] spiral
[] shuffle!
[] slamdunk
[] tactics
[] fate stay night
[] ultra maniac
[] tsubasa chronicle
[] evangelion
[] elfen lied
[] escaflowne
[] ghost hunt
[] elemental gelade
[] detective conan
[] darker than black
[] DNangel
[] gakuen alice
[] gakuen heaven
[] chobits
[] gundam seed/wing/destiny
[] gunslinger girl
[] dot hack SIGN
[] dot hack legend of the twilight
[] harukanaru toki no naka de
[] hayate no gotoku
[] hunter x hunter
[] inuyasha
[] kyou kara maou
[] hana yori dango
[] hanazakari no kimitachi e
[] zombie-loan
[] vampire knight
[] loveless
[] yuyu hakusho
[] you're under arrest
[] yami no matsuei
[] wolf's rain
[] xxxholic
[] weiss kreuz
[] naruto
[] prince of tennis
[] rosario + vampire
[] saiyuki
[] pretear
[] shaman king
[] special A
[] B.O.D.Y.
[] koukou debut
[] kimi wa petto
[] boku ni natta watashi
[] codebreaker
[] lost+brain
[] doubt
[] eternal sabbath
[] luck stealer
[] number
[] liar game
[] kyou koi wo hajimemasu
[] deadman wonderland
[] mirai nikki [future diary]
[] saboten no himitsu
[] koizora
[] majin tantei nougami neuro
[] 07ghost
[] camelot garden
[] blank slate
[] beast master
[] pandora hearts
[] [switch]
[] kuroshitsuji
[] d.gray-man
[] wild ones
[] trinity blood

nexus

propphi anne fernando