an unsteady stream of consciousness
Saturday, May 30, 2009
NOTE TO READERS:you wouldn't be able to understand what i'm talking about unless you read thefirst part of this entire "story". click on the link and see the may 30, 2009 entry entitled THE BEAUTIFUL END OF CHAPTER 3.
There was a flash of lightning, like some terrible sky serpent prepared to strike whoever is unlucky enough to look at it in the eyes.3, 2, 1...I heard the rolling thunder, sounding so much like a guttural growl of an enormous creature from underground.A glance to the partly-opened window caused me to thank my own laziness for preventing me from trying to go somewhere today. Sitting in a comfortable chair in front of my beloved computer with studio-sized headphones on my ears [not to mention an ample supply of snacks] must be way better than being out there under the pouring rain with that terrible sky serpent and the growling underground creature running rampant.Just so you know, today's weather is saturated with betrayal and resentment.Have you seen that pretty little butterfly fluttering over the flowers just before the rain drenched everything?Well, it's gone now. Just like that.Big drops of rain pummeled the butterfly to death.Yes, just like that.Poof, and it's gone.There are fragile things in this world. Beautiful, wonderful, breathtaking things in the world.Beautiful, wonderful, breathtaking things in the world that are just plain fragile.Like, probably, trust.Such a beautiful word. How ironic that such a beautiful word that holds so many meanings, so many deep-seated values and concepts can be so weak... so fragile...Just like the pretty little butterfly fluttering over the flowers, unaware of its impending doom, trust can be destroyed by one big drop of rain saturated with betrayal and resentment...Yes, just like that.Poof, it's gone.Then, there was another flash of lightning and a peal of rolling thunder...Let the terrible sky serpent and the enormous creature with the guttural growl fight each other to death.Just so you know, today's weather is filled with thunderstorms of anger and vengeance...Indifference is the strongest force. It makes everything it touches meaningless. Love and hate don't stand a chance against it. It is the most powerful weapon that one can have.It's like silence. Silence is an irrefutable argument. Stronger than any ad misericordiam argument, more logical than any ad rem premise, more powerful than any ad hominem statement...Silence is irrefutable.It can be wielded as a weapon but the real weapon, the true call for destruction, is what silence hides --- indifference.Indifference is the real weapon. And like any other weapon, it is double-edged. It can backfire if wielded wrongly or if wielded by a weak soul.This is a weapon that needs sheer will to be handled.Halfhearted attempts in wielding it would destroy the wielder.Another flash of lightning and a roll of thunder...The two celestial creatures, locked in a deathmatch...Yes, vengeance is bittersweet. Yes, vengeance destroys the avenger. Yes, Lestat of Anne Rice's novels said so himself "I have never had a deep interest in revenge. Revenge is the concern of those who are, at one point or another, beaten. I am not beaten. And victory is far more interesting to contemplate than revenge."But then, hey. It's not revenge that i'm looking for, after all.I just believe in equivalent trade. I pay my debts. I collect my debts.Especially, if the debt i'll be collecting is for a close friend.Measure for measure, as Shakespeare named one of his plays.And then, I was wrong. I wasn't looking carefully. The two creatures weren't locked in a deathmatch! they weren't even engaged in any battle...the terrible sky serpent was streaking across the darkened skies, its blazing tail illuminating the shrouding black...the creature with the guttural growl, invisible to the naked eye, was screaming with all its might to alleviate the heavy silence of the darkness...I heard it, alright.My friend has heard it as well.Thank you, celestial creatures of the thunderstorm. A good show, that was. Spectacular. A glance at the swiftly dissipating darkness caused me to thank the sweetest gods of the heavens and the earths and the underworlds for bestowing such laziness unto me that i didn't try to leave the house today. Well, if i had, it would have been a different story then.[apologies!! highly unstable, unsteady entry. read mico's may 30 entry to understand what the hell i'm talking about]
12:10 PM
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