| Flatter the sea but stand on earth |

2009

Sunday, January 4, 2009

my dad just arrived from the hospital. he was confined since last december 30. he couldn't breathe that morning and we were panicking...
the doctors said that it's heart ailment.
basically, i spent the new year alone in the house. they were all in the hospital and i had to stay home. spent the new year watching anime and reading books while the rest of the world were screaming their hearts out for the coming 2009.
wasn't sad being alone though. half of the times, i prefer to be alone than to mingle with people i don't know.
but that's only half of the times.
anyway, the next day, i found out that they used a defibrillator on him.
crap.
meaning... uh... meaning, he almost...

my sister and i are really putting on our best performances to cheer everyone up.
thanks to the academy for our acting skills...

when i have to be strong for someone else, i don't want to cry...
there would be enough tears for everyone so mine would just be unnecessary.
and when someone else needs me to cling on to, i have to be stand strong...
or we'll both fall down.

happy new year.
i wasn't regretful at how i spent my new year. 'twas a time to contemplate stuff. and i can be very contemplative underneath the im-so-bubbly-look-at-me visage. hah. people have been telling me how i seem so happy with everything...
how i seem to face no problems...
how i seem to just enjoy life...
but then, what else can i do? i very well can't slap the world and wallow in sadness, can i? what else is there to do but to keep on living it?

"...that something that you want to achieve in your life, what is it?"
more often than not, beneath all of life's accumulated crap, you'll see that your wants do not coincide with that one ultimate dream.
more often than not, your wants deviates you from your dream.
what is that one thing that you want to achieve?
i replied contentment.
such a farfetched dream, right?
absolute contentment is nonexistent.
and my wants [whatever i want, actually] are just direct oppositions to that dream.
whenever a want is obtained, more wants would appear...
and thus, the path to contentment swerves more and more...
but then, im not looking for absolute contentment.
im just looking for contentment that when the clock strikes midnight, i would have no regrets as to how i lived my life.

4:16 PM
Y Y Y

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saccharine spice

[+] full-time UP Diliman BS Chemical Engineering student
[+] 50% Filipina (by citizenship) 50% Chinese (by blood)
[+] true-blue argentine kiddo
[+] bookworm
[+] mangaddicted
[+] trilingual (filipino, english, spanish)
[+] aspiring writer
[+] appreciates learning and beauty
[+] dreamer
[+] traveller at heart
[+] linguist wanna-be (at least 5 languages!)
[+] looks at the world through multicolored glasses

esteemed authors

in order as dictated by my memory

+ neil gaiman
+ michael crichton
+ sidney sheldon
+ stephen king
+ jeffery deaver
+ caleb carr
+ kathy reisch
+ christopher pike
+ chuck palahniuk
+ clive staples lewis
+ john katzenbach
+ john ronald reuel tolkien
+ anne rice
+ peter beere
+ heather graham
+ richie tankersley cusick
+ ian fleming
+ chris wooding
+ patricia cornwell
+ mary higgins clark
+ stephen coonts
+ vladimir nabokov
+ agatha christie
+ robert lawrence stine
+ dean koontz
+ john grisham
+ jonathan kellerman
+ paulo coehlo
+ roald dahl
+ lewis carroll
+ sir james matthew barrie
+ frank baum
+ mark twain
+ michael connelly
+ arthur conan doyle
+ edgar allan poe
+ piers anthony
+ clive barker
+ tamora pierce
+ mary wollstonecraft shelley
+ bram stoker
+ dan brown
+ edith wharton
+ sue grafton
+ william blatty

anime/manga

as far as i can recall, these are the animes/mangas that i've read and/or watched. currently still incomplete. blame my memory.

[] one piece
[] battle royale
[] get backers
[] death note
[] bleach
[] ouran highschool host club
[] gatekeepers
[] blood +
[] black cat
[] fushigi yuugi
[] ayashi no ceres
[] full metal panic
[] full metal alchemist
[] fruits basket
[] flame of recca
[] spiral
[] shuffle!
[] slamdunk
[] tactics
[] fate stay night
[] ultra maniac
[] tsubasa chronicle
[] evangelion
[] elfen lied
[] escaflowne
[] ghost hunt
[] elemental gelade
[] detective conan
[] darker than black
[] DNangel
[] gakuen alice
[] gakuen heaven
[] chobits
[] gundam seed/wing/destiny
[] gunslinger girl
[] dot hack SIGN
[] dot hack legend of the twilight
[] harukanaru toki no naka de
[] hayate no gotoku
[] hunter x hunter
[] inuyasha
[] kyou kara maou
[] hana yori dango
[] hanazakari no kimitachi e
[] zombie-loan
[] vampire knight
[] loveless
[] yuyu hakusho
[] you're under arrest
[] yami no matsuei
[] wolf's rain
[] xxxholic
[] weiss kreuz
[] naruto
[] prince of tennis
[] rosario + vampire
[] saiyuki
[] pretear
[] shaman king
[] special A
[] B.O.D.Y.
[] koukou debut
[] kimi wa petto
[] boku ni natta watashi
[] codebreaker
[] lost+brain
[] doubt
[] eternal sabbath
[] luck stealer
[] number
[] liar game
[] kyou koi wo hajimemasu
[] deadman wonderland
[] mirai nikki [future diary]
[] saboten no himitsu
[] koizora
[] majin tantei nougami neuro
[] 07ghost
[] camelot garden
[] blank slate
[] beast master
[] pandora hearts
[] [switch]
[] kuroshitsuji
[] d.gray-man
[] wild ones
[] trinity blood

nexus

propphi anne fernando