| Aut viam inveniam aut faciam |

Bye

2011-05-29T16:14:00.000+08:00

I've been using this blog for three years already and I think it's time to start something new. Well then, I have to direct you, my dear reader, to my new home...

Click here

Thank you for staying with me through all those years. And now, we move on...
Bye.

Shutter Island (film)

2010-05-19T19:17:00.001+08:00

Note: If you haven't seen the movie yet, do not read this entry. Don't tell me I didn't warn you.

Shutter Island is a film directed by Martin Scorsese with Leonardo DiCaprio as the lead actor. Of course, one would expect it to be good. It is The Scorsese-DiCaprio tandem after all.

The film was good and... Oh, who am I kidding?

It was a hell of an awesome film.

When I found out that it was an adaptation of Dennis Lehane's novel which was also entitled Shutter Island, I was beyond overwhelmed.

I mean, c'mon, it was The Dennis Lehane's book turned to a film. A Scorsese film, mind you.

Overwhelming.

Actually, even without knowing these names [though I doubt anyone would fail to recognize Leo DiCaprio], you watch the film, you get shaken right down to your bones.

Again, overwhelming.

I wouldn't even try to put some sort of a synopsis here since I assume that, whoever you could possibly be, you've already seen the film.

If you haven't, then that must mean either of two things: your eyesight's bad enough that you hadn't read the note at the start of this entry or you're too stubborn for your own sake that you refuse to not read this entry even though you haven't seen the film yet.

If it's the latter, then I'm sorry my dear reader but I am not going to put in a synopsis here just for you.

Google it or something. Or if you have the time, just watch it. It'll be worth it.

People have told me that I ought to watch it twice. I agree.

All the confusion and complexity that would leave you tugging at your hair and thinking what's real and what's not, it was all deliberately done.

You weren't supposed to get it. Not right away. Not until you're well past three quarters of the story, which by the way, would already be too late for you to notice all those blatant clues and foreshadowing that were present all throughout the film.

The book was designed with that intention in mind. But, of course, it was The Dennis Lehane. You can't expect anything less.

The genius of Martin Scorsese was that he managed to pull it off. Very few films can be considered at par with the original novels. Shutter Island is one of them.

Just on a sidenote, I haven't read the book yet but a friend, who is a literature geek as well, finds it "disturbingly awesome" and I am inclined to trust her words. Plus, it is Dennis Lehane's novel.

I really would have to get my hands on a copy of that book soon.

Back to the topic...

You recall how the movie started? I'm assuming you do.

Now, see this: two federal marshalls teamed up for a mission to a "federal mental facility for the criminally insane" just happened to meet each other aboard a ferry when they're almost near their destination. They seem to have never met before. You'd think that they would have been given a debriefing of some sort beforehand, but no, they were there almost already on the docks of Shutter Island.

How does that sound to you?

You know that something was amiss, but since you're all in this ride together with Teddy, you just charge it on Hollywood trying to play it mysterious. You might have forgotten that it was Scorsese who directed the film. Whatever it was, you go right along with it.

You recall when they reached the facility and they were supposed to give up their firearms? Chuck, Teddy's partner, also known now as the MIA Dr. Sheehan, fumbled in removing his gun holster. Why would he fumble in removing his gun holster anyway?

He is a Federal Marshall. He should be used to it.

Now, when you first watch the film, you may let it pass as some sort of a character quirk for Chuck. You know, something that would allow the Chuck character to be in-character when he starts fumbling his way during a full swing action that would, most probably, get them in deep shit. Allow me to say that this is what I thought it was.

When you reach the three-quarter mark of the film however, that proverbial lightbulb on top of your head would just light up in all its blinding glory and you're going to be asking yourself how come I didn't notice that before...?

Again, that's the genius of it all.

There are more foreshadowing and blatant clues all throughout the film but since the viewers weren't supposed to get it right then, no one did. Well, except for those who have already read the book, most probably.

This is why I agree that one has to watch this film twice.

The first viewing would be disturbing and entertaining and just downright overwhelming... but you just didn't have enough to go deep into it. The second viewing would provide that.

Past the third-quarter mark, the entire charade was revealed to Teddy, and consequently, to us. He is the mysterious 67th patient of Shutter Island. He is Laeddis and he killed his wife who has drowned their three children that one fateful day beside the lake.

It may be said that murder has no justifications but I've always believed that morality is in shades of gray. Personally, I say that killing his wife is justified. She was insane and she drowned their kids in cold blood and she was begging him to just let her go.

Teddy's inner demon wasn't Dolores' death per se but the idea that it all had to happen. Add in all his warshock and trauma and you get someone with a really damaged psyche.

I just can't help but put this in. You recall that military man who botched his own suicide? Teddy took the gun away from his reach. That would require a firm and twisted sense of justice.

That part was just salient to me. That man was supposed to shoot himself in the temple but he botched it. You could just imagine the pain he was in.

The word "euthanasia" crossed my mind but realization that the man, most probably, has been doing inhuman things to the slaves in the Dachau death camp rendered the word not appropriate for the situation.

It's in shades of gray, I've always believed.

Come to think of it, George Noyce already told Teddy the reality of it all. When they talked inside ward C, Noyce said that it was him who had beaten his face to a bloody pulp. Noyce said that Chuck is not what he seems to be and that he should let Dolores go and that they're going to cut his brain and that what he believes to be real is not real...

Noyce wasn't actually subtle about his announcement but did anyone get what he was really trying to say during the first viewing?

He told Teddy that this is not real. He told Teddy the secret of Shutter Island. He revealed it all in one breath but to Teddy [and the viewers] this is just confirmation that this is an elaborate ploy to convince himthat he is, in fact, insane. Plus, Chuck is part of the ploy.

Yes, the what-if-this-is-all-just-Teddy's-imagination may have crossed your mind at one point but were you ever absolutely certain on what you were thinking?

You see, you're all going along with Teddy in this ride. It was his perspective. His point of view. His decisions. His story. It was his ride all along. Yes, we were with him all along.

That was why Dr. Cawley's revelation in the lighthouse came to be such a shock. That time, it was Dr. Cawley's perspective. Dr. Cawley's point of view. Dr. Cawley's decisions.

You get to realize that Teddy was not the one driving the vehicle all along.

Now, what about the ending of the film, you would ask.

Teddy was sitting there on the steps and Chuck-slash-Dr. Sheehan came up to him and Teddy was all in his I-am-a-Federal-Marshall-and-we-have-to-get-out-of-here mode. That time, it seemed as if he had relapsed but was he truly insane or was he deliberately acting to be insane just so they would finally lobotomize him because he still couldn't accept the truth?

Just when you thought you had it nailed, they hurl something at you...

"Is it better to live as a monster or die as a good man?"

There are lots of interpretations for that final line. Some say that Teddy was not really insane and that Dr. Cawley and the rest of his crew just want to convince him otherwise and that he chose to die as a good man rather than live in a world where everyone's acting as if he is a monster. Others say that Teddy was, in fact, insane and was cured but he still couldn't accept reality so he fakes relapse just so they'll finally cut off his brain, or maybe, kill him. Some even say that Teddy, yes, was insane and they weren't able to cure him hence the relapse. His last line won't make sense though, if that were the case.

It is a Dennis Lehane novel. It is a Martin Scorsese film. It's open to interpretation. Take your pick. It doesn't matter because in the end, there are no truths, only perceptions.

Bankrupt of Originality

2010-05-15T17:49:00.013+08:00

It has been way too long since I last posted something in this blog. It has been an entire sem already. No, this blog is not, in any way, abandoned. I just took an unexpected halfyear hiatus. But take a look, I'm here now.
Anyway, moving on to what I was supposed to post after that long hiatus...

Plagiarism.
It is a form of cowardice. It's as if you're trying to hide your own incompetence behind the works of other people. You claim as it your own, trying to delude yourself (and other people, for that matter) that you've created it. You feed on other people's intellectual property.
The compliments you receive are nothing but empty words.

I so detest plagiarists. Especially those who plagiarize fiction.
I mean, c'mon, fiction is a form of expression and you just can't copy someone else's form of expression.
Not only it's illegal. It's also a form of self-mockery.
What, you don't have the skills and imagination to write one for yourself?
Ooh yes. It is a form of self-mockery.

You may have taken down the plagiarized work from your site but the fact that you plagiarized still remains. You know who you are. And you know what you are. A plagiarist. A fraud.

What the original writer of that work wants is acknowledgment. All you had to do was to put a little byline or even a parenthetical citation to acknowledge who wrote the work. But no, when people asked you if you wrote that thing, you just had to say yes. When people complimented the work, you just had to say that you write these kinda things when "inspired, driven, and motivated."
Sheesh. Inspired, driven and motivated to what? To plagiarize, most probably.
Don't you feel pathetic?

I have said this before but I really think I ought to say it again.
Plagiarism is illegal.
The original work was submitted to an esteemed UP professor, mind you. The said professor could testify that it was one of her former Creative Writing students who wrote that work. Lots of people could testify against you. Me being one of them. I have read the original draft.

Oh, and just in case you're thinking that you weren't exactly plagiarizing because you paraphrased what was originally written, I have to say that plagiarism is not only copying someone else's work verbatim. When you closely imitate someone else's work by changing a few words here and there, that is still plagiarism. You cannot say otherwise.

Considering the fact that you're a member of a writing org in DLSU, this is really degrading. Shameful, even more so.

You cannot say that you are "more of an idea kind of guy". Everyone has ideas. All the time. What makes writers different from everyone else is the fact that they can actually put their ideas into words and create something tangible out of it.
Writers are called writers for a reason.
You cannot say that you are "not much into writing" either. That's just like a swordsman saying he has lots of ideas on how to become a damned good swordsman but he's just not into using swords...
*insert eye-rolling gesture here*
Not to mention that the swordsman really wants people to praise him so he just claims the fame of a REAL swordsman for himself...
Oh. Did that hit too close to home?
I'm sorry.
~~Not~~.

Here's a copy of the original work, by the way.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
BY: MIGUEL RICO SUBOSA

THINGS WITH A FUTILE BEAUTY

The reddest rose atop the tomb of a dead beloved.

A book you love all too well that you placed it far up some shelves -- its pages virgin, not one dog-eared. And it even still smells of plastic unwrapped.

The ever-changing moon, blessed with a borrowed luster yet accursed of appearing every night.

A melody sang but never heard.A grand idea left unspoken. Or that grand idea spoken in too many words.

INVIGORATING THINGS
Moss along the bark of a wilted tree in wintertime.

The returning caress of a winter breeze on Indian summer.

A light that flickers from a distance while one is alone and afloat the indigo vastness of an ocean at night.

The sidden silence of a mother to welcome the first cries of her infant. She chooses to sleep and quiet her cries of pain so that the little world of the delivery room hears nothing but her newborn child's cries. It is her hero's welcome for one she has long been awaiting.

A sour candy that stings the tongue -- STING! -- when one is half-asleep.Sex between lovers, though one or the other is infertile.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Things with a futile beauty" and you changed it to "Beauty in Vain"...
"A reddest rose atop the tomb of a dead beloved" and you changed it to "A crimson rose atop a lover's gravestone"...
Y'see, that's plagiarism. As a self-proclaimed writer, you should know that it is the lowest of all the lowest things that you could have done.
How much more pathetic a writer could you be?

My books need no one to accuse or judge you: the page which is yours stands up against you and says, "You are a thief."-Marcus Valerius Martial

sem-ender

2009-10-23T12:41:00.011+08:00

First semester for the year 09-10 has officially ended. whew.

and i'm happy that i got out of it very much alive and unscathed. well, quite unscathed. i did not bleed out. points for me. =) yay.

here are my subjects for the first semester that i've had in UP. all in a nutshell.

MATH17 under Prof. Edmond Sison.

The Subject: well, it's algebra and trigonometry. i don't think i have to say anything anymore.

The Prof: is plain cool. he teaches really well. he explains the concepts really well. granted, it felt boring during the first weeks since we were discussing all about sets [which is, in fact, a boring topic. yes.] but as math17 goes on, it became more interesting.

The Exams: prof sison's exams aren't THAT hard. i mean, they're not easy but they're not impossible. if you have a good grasp on the topic, getting high scores on his exams is not at all unlikely.

The Grades: prof sison gives partial points. and he gives quite generously at that. really. during the first long exam, i copied down the wrong equation. i thought i was going to lose all five points in that particular number. oh well, i thought wrong. the prof gave me a 4 out of 5. it struck me as peculiar, at the very least. i think i asked him about it and he told me that my solution and answer were actually correct, that is, if that was the equation that he gave. cool, right? i mean, who else gives a 4 out of 5 points for a number where the given equation was copied incorrectly? i don't know about you but my math17 prof surely does.

The Uno-ability: math17 is unoable. i think. oh, no, i won't get an uno for this subject. that's actually dreaming too much. hah. but any subject is unoable if you have the ability to get an UNO. unless your prof doesn't want you to.

CHEM16 under Prof Cherrie Pascual [lecture] and Sir Mark Cleofas [lab].

The Subject: it's general chemistry. the stuff you learned in highschool, basically. just tougher, yes.

The Profs: Prof Pascual can be an intimidating professor once you come to know her educational and professional background. she is a PhD degree holder who pursued higher education in australia. she's also one of those chosen people who have the power to vote who's going to be deemed as a nobel prize winner. yes, she is one of the chosen ones. oh, she's also from analytic chemistry. and she was the chem16 coordinator. need i say more?

Sir Cleofas is quite new since he just graduated last april 2009 and i think that was what made him a good instructor. he still has his student heart safely tucked within his ribcage, with competency to boot.

The Exams: all of the short quizzes are made by prof pascual and seeing how she wants her students to be the best in chem, the quizzes aren't as easy as those given to other chem16 students. but if you have a good grasp of the topic, you'd do quite well.

the three long exams are actually what you need to focus on. each exam is worth 150 points [160, actually, because of the ten-point bonus] and your grades for the three long exams would determine your prefinal grade. 2.00 above would exempt you from the finals. just practice on your chem problems and you won't have that much of a difficulty. and, don't forget what you learned in highschool. *wink*

KAS1 under Prof. Ruel Pagunsan.

The Subject: it's philippine history. what more do i have to say?

The Prof: my kas1 was a 4-5.30 subject. yes, that dreaded hour when the Sandman visits quite often. but prof pagunsan has this ability to shoo away Mr. Sandman. oh, he has a knack for discussing any topic in full 24-color-palette detail. yes, we discussed the significance of history and the prehispanic era for the entire sem [i'm not sure if that's an exaggeration or what.] which wasn't bad at all. all of his students know the twists and turns of the prehispanic era by now. and we know how important history is. he hammered the point home, after all. =)

i've heard highschool classmates how they dislike their kas1 subjects. i don't know but it seems that i was the only one who has a good kas1 experience. you won't find history boring under this professor. he is a living ilustrado after all.

The Exams: one written exam. essay-type. just brush up on your notes and you'll do just fine. there's another, btw. a sem-ender exam. oral. you pick two questions from a box and you have 6 minutes to answer it. scary, i know, but it really wasn't. that's just nerves.

The Grades: i don't know my kas1 grade yet but as far as i can see, based from the written exam, he gives grades that you deserve. plus points for complete attendance. plus more points if you joined the banahaw field trip. oh, don't forget to recite and let the prof know you by name. that'd make a huge difference on your grade.

ENGLISH11 under Prof. Isabela Mooney

The Subject: literature. and society. and literature. yes, and have i mentioned literature?

The Prof: makes you channel that hidden analyst in you. she gives out rhetorical questions that aren't so rhetorical after all. once the heavy symbolisms and literary weight start to drown you, she gives little hints just to prod your subconscious into letting all those insights rise up to the surface. and then, there's her knack for blurting out little sarcastic remarks that would make you chuckle a bit [the lightness of the chuckles depends on the person, say, if you're the brunt of the remark]
all in all, prof mooney is a very interesting and competent professor in her field. really.
The Exams: first exam was about poetry. we were given a poem and we had to make a critical essay on it. oh, our essays had to reach at least the centerfold mark of our bluebooks. yes. expect finger and wrist cramps.
second exam was about short fictions and Oedipus Rex. it was a takehome exam. oh, don't jump for joy just yet. i actually shuddered when prof mooney announced that the second exam was to be taken home. after all, takehome exams are never easy. oh, i wasn't disappointed. it was NOT easy. actually, when she dictated our exam, my mind was whirring.
she made us do the impossible ---- create our own novels in one day.
kidding. really, i was kidding, don't just scream your head off. what she made us do wasn't actually impossible. just a bit difficult. but hey, it was a takehome exam after all.
The Grades: i haven't seen my grades yet. but prof mooney once told us that if a student is physically and mentally present in class every meeting then that student will never fail. so, if you've got a complete attendance [and by that, i also mean to say that you're not just sleeping in the class] then you're already guaranteed the good ol' tres. if you want higher than that, then exert effort. i recall several CW majors who told me that prof mooney dislikes mediocrity. well, who does?
oh, if you're not outspoken, have no worries. you don't have to be a recitation freak in this class. prof mooney once said that you can talk as much as you want and not make any sense at all but you can also be the quietest yet the most brilliant student. talk seldomly but make sure that whatever comes out of your mouth makes perfect sense and she'll never forget your name. i mean it.
The Drawback: professor mooney is going to be out of the country for a year and half. so even if you see her name in the CRS, she wouldn't be the one teaching that section. she'll be somewhere in the west.

SOCSCI3 under Prof. Soledad Dalisay.
The Subject: gender and sexuality. don't even ask me why i enlisted the subject. it was fun. you just watch documentaries and you discuss. really.
The Prof: knows how to keep her students intrigued. well, it IS an intriguing subject after all. you'll just laugh your head off when she starts bringing her magical bag of goodies.
The Exams: just one exam. half-objective, half-subjective. just read the notes that you copied from the board and those readings that she asked you to get and you'll ace the exam.
The Grades: divided into three. exam, paper, and presentation. the exam, mentioned above, is the only thing that's done individually in this class. you form groups of four or three and you pick your topic and you make a paper out of it. that's it. oh, you have to present it on class. be creative and fun. that's basically it. highschool stuff, really. and if you know your research format well, here's some cookies for you.
oh, there was one individual paper. you get to choose among all the documentaries and films that you've watched in class and you make a reaction paper. fairly easy.

PE WF under Prof. Edwin Barber.
The Subject: walking. for fitness. yeah. basically, you walk, as the name implies [or states].
The Prof: prof barber seriously wants his students to walk faster. and to lose weight and fat. he wants his students to become physically fit and walk faster.. and lose some fat. and have i mentioned how he so wants students to walk faster? oh, but he is a really nice professor. a comedian at heart. really.
The Exams: none. really. we were supposed to have a 4.4km walk [two acad oval rounds] but due to the storms it was postponed for a week. then, because it was drizzling that morning, he decided to just scrap it since it might disrupt our major subjects if he were to reschedule it some other time. haven't i told you how nice he is?
The Grades: people told me that this PE is unoable and easy. oh, fairly easy since you just need to walk. FAST. but the unoable part is certainly true. you get a shining uno and you lose weight as well. what more do you want?

so, there. those were my subjects for the first semester, all in a nutshell.
i'm fairly satisfied and happy with how things went. now, second sem is approaching and i have nothing to say except GOOD LUCK. =)

JUST TO END THE HIATUS

2009-10-21T13:11:00.002+08:00

it's been quite some time when i last posted an entry in this blog. oh well. been too busy and all that crap. just to "end" my hiatus, i'll post this cute joke.

It was the final examination for an introductory Biology course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 500 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided.
The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail.
Half of an hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.
"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet.
"Yes I will," replied the student.
He then took a seat and began writing.
After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.
An hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.
"No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late."
The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know who I am?"
"No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.
"Do you know who I am?" the student asked again in a louder voice.
"No, and I don't care." replied the professor with an air of superiority.
"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.

There you have it. it made me think, actually. sounds good enough to try. HAHAHA.
anyway, i think i'll be posting some other time soon.
i'm still quite upset with the CRS. you suck CRS! haha. if only cursing it would enlist me on my subjects.. LOL.

I'd like to buy the world a Kimberly

2009-08-03T10:26:00.002+08:00

Tagged by Aura and Mico.
THE SLOGAN GENERATOR: ADVERTISE YOURSELF.
-Go to: http://thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi
-Put your name in, and generate slogan after each question.

1. What do you say to yourself every morning?
Sometimes you feel like a Kimberly. Sometimes you don't.

2. What do you want other people say about you?
The Kimberly that smiles back. [haha. cute.]

3. Someone asked you out, your answer is...
The Man from Kimberly, he says "Yes". [yes lang ang dami pang sinabi. haha.]

4. How would you answer a booty call?
Tastes great, less Kimberly. [wth..]

5. How would you introduce yourself to someone you really like?
The loudest noise comes from the electric Kimberly. [i'm not hot. i'm electric! haha.]

6. to someone you dislike?
We don't make Kimberly. We make Kimberly better. [???]

7. You're in a conversation and you suddenly feel the need to pee, how would you excuse yourself?
Your flexible Kimberly. [huh?]

8. Your parents ask you why you got home late, you say...
Super Kimberly is almost here. [i'm ALMOST here so don't get me grounded.]

9. You're failing a subject, you say...
Obey your Kimberly. *to prof*

10. The love of your life asks you to marry him/her, what do you say?
Try Kimberly, you'll like it. [hahaha..]

11. Your bf/gf is breaking up with you, you tell him/her...
Discover the Kimberly Difference. [yes. your life would suck without Kimberly. haha.]

12. Someone told you you're an asshole, you tell them...
Good, honest Kimberly since 1896. [translation: i'm an asshole ever since so don't mess up with me. LOL.]

13. What are the best words to describe you?
With a name like Kimberly, it has to be good. [woohoo! =D]

14. If you're going to have a movie about your life, the title is...
An army of Kimberly. [wow. a war flick, probably?]

15. Your last words before you die..
Kimberly not included. [haha.. of course, i'll be gone by then.]

16. Your message to a special someone..
Happiness is Kimberly-shaped. [so be with me, BE WITH ME!! hahaha.]

17. Title of this post will be...
I'd like to buy the world a Kimberly. [cooool.]

------------------------------------------
There are other cool slogans like...

I think, therefore Kimberly. [aura and mico will surely love this one.]

Do you, uh, Kimberly? [what does that mean? hmm.]

Because I'm worth Kimberly. [damned good thing to say. haha.]

Make room for the Kimberly. [the heiress to the royal crown is coming..]

Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's Kimberly. [innate talents, huh.]

The Kimberly for all ages. [what is Kimberly? a movie?]

I want my Kimberly. [then come and get it. lol.]

I can't believe it's not Kimberly. [yes. it should be Kimberly. only Kimberly.]

All you add is Kimberly. [that is, if you want a bit of color in your life. lol.]

We all adore a Kimberly. [but of course. how can you not?]

Something special in the Kimberly. [everything's special in the Kimberly. =D]

The Kimberly goes straight to your head. [and knocks the lights out of you. a hard liquor, huh??]

There ain't no party like a Kimberly party. [woohoo. bring it on.]

Out of the strong came forth Kimberly. [spartans, what is your profession?!]

entry to the adult society

2009-07-18T18:19:00.003+08:00

a bonafide member of the adult society...
since thursday, july 16.
sweet.
well, i don't actually feel like of legal age already. young, young, young at heart. lol. i can now be put to jail so i guess i better behave myself.
oh, and i can drink alcohol by now. [not that i didn't do that back in argentina]
i'm just curious as to how they can attest that 18 should be the legal age. i mean, why 18 anyway? why not 20? why not 16?
why 18?

thursday night, the real day of my entry to the adult society, was not actually good.
i was scolded. yes, you heard [or read] me right.
the thing was that i was applying for an acad org so i had to stay for the required "tambay hours".
well, i arrived home at 8.
yes. i was scolded, of course. and they didn't want me joining any orgs from then on.
i was like o_0.
i mean, there i was, giddy with the fact that i'd be applying for an acad org... happy because my first tambay went well... and there they were, ruining the night.
crap. i know.
and that was my birthday.
even more crap.
and so, let's not go to this topic, shall we?

friday.
my first class is 8.30.
math17.
so around 7 i was already on my way to UP.
inside the UP campus jeep, i received an announcement.
classes were suspended.
and no, i didn't jump for joy. not even a little squeak.
i was irritated. imagine, i woke up really early for nothing. the jeep and mrt fares were all for nothing.
and mrt was a freaking wormhole.
we didn't ride the first train since it was already jampacked. people were rushing and pushing.
but the second train was no less different.
we were the ones standing just behind the yellow platform but when the train finally came to a halt in front of us and the doors opened, it felt as if a wormhole sucked us in.
no, not vortex.
a wormhole.
once you get in, you can't get out.
actually, we were able to ride that train because people have pushed us inside. crap. what an amaaaazing adventure. [hear the sarcasm drip...]
when i got home, i was drenched.
yes, drenched. dripping-all-over-the-floor drenched.
why can't they just notify the students earlier that classes are going to suspended? i mean, if they haven't noticed it yet, some students have early classes and some of them live quite a distance from campus.
announcing that there'd be no classes at 7.30 is futile.
the students are going to be at the campus by that time.
futile.
but afternoon was fun, fun, FUN.

ugh. my spanish is starting to be crappy. i'm forgetting some basic words and all that. i hate it.
well, you know about this colombian guy who's currently here in the philippines with AFS. he's a freshman in ateneo and i'm his liaison officer. basically, his native language is spanish [duh.] and so AFS-Philippines asked me to be the one explaining to him and all that.
i was eager, apparently so. i mean, i've been missing spanish for more than a year and now here's someone with whom i can practice my spanish. yay.
well, yeah. he understands me and i understand him [aside from the fact that there are words that really differ in meaning... i mean, REALLY.]
but, it seems to me that he speaks waaaay too fast and i speak waaaay too slow. i dunno. and i effin hate it when i forget words...
before i left argentina, i was told that i should not forget my spanish. that i should keep on practicing spanish. that i should preserve my spanish.
effin hell. i practice written spanish but my oral spanish is starting to go downhill.
i put accents in wrong syllables, i pronounce badly, and for effin's sake, i forget words!
well, i'm exaggerating everything, of course. but still, my spanish is starting to go downhill and i'm hating that.
i was talking to the colombian guy over the phone just a while ago and there was a conversation about flights and all that and i just couldn't remember the spanish of "RISK".
the hell.
i wanted to hit my head against the wall. i mean, yeah it's been over a year but STILL, i spoke spanish for almost a year so i just can't start forgetting words like that. and it's not even one of the profound, archaic, literary spanish words...
it's just RISK. and i couldn't recall it.
well, i explained it to him and he told me the word in spanish.
RIESGO.
i was like, yeah i forgot such an easy word. sweet.
now, i'm determined to bring back my spanish skill. the colombian guy's staying in the country for one year so i have one year to practice my spanish.
before i start learning german and japanese, i swear i am going to master spanish first.
ooookaaaay. i have to go. have to do my kas1 papers.
chau.

drabbles and beliefs

2009-06-28T12:25:00.002+08:00

It has already been two weeks when i entered the University of the Philippines as a BS Chemical Engineering freshman.
Well, what can i say?
I'm enjoying it.

Math17. [college algebra and trigonometry]
Chem16. [general chemistry]
Kas1. [kasaysayan ng pilipinas]
Eng11. [literature and society]
Socsci3. [exploring gender and sexuality]
These are my subjects for this semester. And yes, i am enjoying every single one of them.
Including my math17.

BS Chem eng'g was my first choice but i really didn't have any idea as to what this field is all about. when i filled out the UPCAT form [that was before i went to argentina for a year] i was having a difficulty in choosing a course.
i did not know what to take up.
i thought that since i'm inclined to science, it would be best to take up something related to science.
but i also love english. and literature. and communication.
science and lit don't actually go hand in hand.
i was browsing through the net, hoping that something would just appear... something that would help me in choosing what course to take up.
then the field of engineering caught my attention.
oh, i know about engineering and its strong link with mathematics.
it is an intimidating field after all.
among the subjects that i've known from elementary and highschool, mathematics is my waterloo. [well, actually, Filipino is my weakest subject but since it doesn't have anything to do with what i'm trying to say, let's just not consider it for now.]
not that i'm THAT bad at it. it's just that i'm not THAT good at it either.
i'm pretty average. i can say that.
but the thing is that i really like excelling. when i don't excel, i feel bad about myself.
a friend once told me that excelling is not everything. well, yes, i know that. failure, after all, is not falling down but staying down.
well, let's get back to mathematics, shall we?
anyway, math is my waterloo. i admit that.
not that i hate math. i actually like it.
let's just say that it's a sort of a love-hatred on-off relationship. LOL.
if i fear math, it would have been better since it would be like facing my fears. but i don't fear math. it's just not my strongest point.
and that is what actually pushed me to write "BS Chemical Engineering" on the space for my first choice. [aside from the fact that i love chemistry]
math is my waterloo. but i don't hate my waterloo. so i thought, why not make use of that waterloo and turn it into a fortress?
crazy me, i know.
speaking of waterloo, i mentioned that Filipino is actually my weakness, right? but take a look at my subjects...
i have KAS1.
kasaysayan ng pilipinas.
wondering why i enlisted in that subject?
ever since my elementary days i disliked HeKaSi [heograpiya, kasaysayan at sining]... i dislike anything that has to do with memorizing all those dates. i mean, what am i going to do with this katipunero's birthdate after all??
i enlisted for KAS1 because i just want to change my notion regarding kasaysayan.
history has always been stigmatized. it has always been deemed as boring.
but history is not boring.
it is like a novel of the adventures of the past. a long, long novel, yes. but a novel nonetheless. filled with symbolisms and figures of speech and developed characters and intricate plotlines...
i know all that but i haven't confirmed it yet.
and now, i am going to.

i can't help but think of the next ten years to come. the thing is that i don't know what i want to do with my life. i don't even know if i really want to be a chemical engineer.
well, yes. i want to try being a chemical engineer. but for the rest of my life?
i don't know.
i just know that i want adventure. i want spontaneity.
it just came to me that choosing what course to take up is one of the most difficult decisions to make.
i quite envy those people who already know what to do with their lives. those people who don't waver in their belief that what they want is what they really want. those people who already know where their hearts are...
i don't know where my heart is.
well, maybe i don't have to know. maybe i just have to put my heart where i want it to be.
after all, when you're lost, you just have to make the place you're lost in feel like home.
you are the captain after all.

i've always loved the vast blue sky

2009-06-01T18:37:00.003+08:00

i can't believe i still cry too easily.
i watched this japanese movie, Koizora [Sky of Love] yesterday. i wasn't really supposed to watch it since it was under the "drama" genre. but one of my favorite japanese actors played a lead role so... well... i thought that nothing can go wrong by watching drama once in a while.

well. nothing can go wrong, actually.
you just sort of... cry while watching.

the plot itself wasn't anything complicated. it was fairly simple, actually. it was about two young lovers trying to stay together with all the hardships thrown to them by the world. or by fate. or, well, you get the point.
that, in itself, wasn't anything to cry for. i know.
but it wasn't the plot itself that made this movie a "tearjerker".
it was those peculiar, trivial, tiny, seemingly unimportant little twists along the way that just grips your heart a teeny bit.
well, as for me, anything that has to do with sacrifices and all that makes me cry.

my mom's expression when she saw me sitting in front of my pc, brushing off the tears flowing from my eyes was just priceless.
she was like, "what did that massive pile of electronic system and metals do to my daughter?"
if it was any other time, i would have laughed out loud.
but, no. i looked at my mom and i went, "mama... nakakainis. nauubos na yung luha ko dito. kainis naman."
i know you're laughing, whoever you are. well, come to think of it, it was sort of funny. really. when my sister came home that evening, she said something about my eyes being a bit swollen.
oh wow. how uncool.
so i told her what happened. i told her the story. with full details.
and, yeah, she sort of cried as well.
actually, while i'm typing this entry, she's watching Koizora.
and i reckon that the smudge of water on her cheek isn't just sweat.

geez. after reading so many dark and disturbing manga, now i'm watching japanese drama?
well, what can i say? it's basically the same as listening to japanese pop songs everyday for the entire fortnight and then suddenly switching to german punk rock without even a hint of transition.
or it's like having a really long hair ever since your childhood days and then suddenly chopping it all off just for the sake of chopping it all off.
or maybe it's like hating vegetables your entire life and then suddenly wanting to be a vegetarian.
or probably something like having phobia with high places and then suddenly wanting to go skydive...
or something like that. you get the point, don't you?
most people wouldn't even dream of doing something out of their routine... something out of the ordinary... something risky and impulsive... something that screams "WAY OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE!"...
well, what can i say?
i'm not most people anyway.
xoxo

an unsteady stream of consciousness

2009-05-30T12:10:00.004+08:00

NOTE TO READERS:
you wouldn't be able to understand what i'm talking about unless you read thefirst part of this entire "story". click on the link and see the may 30, 2009 entry entitled THE BEAUTIFUL END OF CHAPTER 3.

There was a flash of lightning, like some terrible sky serpent prepared to strike whoever is unlucky enough to look at it in the eyes.
3, 2, 1...
I heard the rolling thunder, sounding so much like a guttural growl of an enormous creature from underground.
A glance to the partly-opened window caused me to thank my own laziness for preventing me from trying to go somewhere today. Sitting in a comfortable chair in front of my beloved computer with studio-sized headphones on my ears [not to mention an ample supply of snacks] must be way better than being out there under the pouring rain with that terrible sky serpent and the growling underground creature running rampant.

Just so you know, today's weather is saturated with betrayal and resentment.

Have you seen that pretty little butterfly fluttering over the flowers just before the rain drenched everything?
Well, it's gone now. Just like that.
Big drops of rain pummeled the butterfly to death.
Yes, just like that.
Poof, and it's gone.

There are fragile things in this world. Beautiful, wonderful, breathtaking things in the world.
Beautiful, wonderful, breathtaking things in the world that are just plain fragile.
Like, probably, trust.
Such a beautiful word. How ironic that such a beautiful word that holds so many meanings, so many deep-seated values and concepts can be so weak... so fragile...
Just like the pretty little butterfly fluttering over the flowers, unaware of its impending doom, trust can be destroyed by one big drop of rain saturated with betrayal and resentment...
Yes, just like that.
Poof, it's gone.

Then, there was another flash of lightning and a peal of rolling thunder...
Let the terrible sky serpent and the enormous creature with the guttural growl fight each other to death.

Just so you know, today's weather is filled with thunderstorms of anger and vengeance...

Indifference is the strongest force. It makes everything it touches meaningless. Love and hate don't stand a chance against it. It is the most powerful weapon that one can have.
It's like silence. Silence is an irrefutable argument. Stronger than any ad misericordiam argument, more logical than any ad rem premise, more powerful than any ad hominem statement...
Silence is irrefutable.
It can be wielded as a weapon but the real weapon, the true call for destruction, is what silence hides --- indifference.
Indifference is the real weapon. And like any other weapon, it is double-edged. It can backfire if wielded wrongly or if wielded by a weak soul.
This is a weapon that needs sheer will to be handled.
Halfhearted attempts in wielding it would destroy the wielder.

Another flash of lightning and a roll of thunder...
The two celestial creatures, locked in a deathmatch...

Yes, vengeance is bittersweet. Yes, vengeance destroys the avenger. Yes, Lestat of Anne Rice's novels said so himself "I have never had a deep interest in revenge. Revenge is the concern of those who are, at one point or another, beaten. I am not beaten. And victory is far more interesting to contemplate than revenge."
But then, hey. It's not revenge that i'm looking for, after all.
I just believe in equivalent trade. I pay my debts. I collect my debts.
Especially, if the debt i'll be collecting is for a close friend.
Measure for measure, as Shakespeare named one of his plays.

And then, I was wrong.
I wasn't looking carefully. The two creatures weren't locked in a deathmatch! they weren't even engaged in any battle...
the terrible sky serpent was streaking across the darkened skies, its blazing tail illuminating the shrouding black...
the creature with the guttural growl, invisible to the naked eye, was screaming with all its might to alleviate the heavy silence of the darkness...

I heard it, alright.
My friend has heard it as well.

Thank you, celestial creatures of the thunderstorm. A good show, that was. Spectacular.

A glance at the swiftly dissipating darkness caused me to thank the sweetest gods of the heavens and the earths and the underworlds for bestowing such laziness unto me that i didn't try to leave the house today. Well, if i had, it would have been a different story then.

[apologies!! highly unstable, unsteady entry. read mico's may 30 entry to understand what the hell i'm talking about]

deadman wonderland

2009-05-27T21:13:00.002+08:00

"...if you're weak, then don't show your fangs..."

"...I just want to be strong... I want to become so strong that i could blow away what i am now..."

Dark, deeply philosophical, twisted stories have this irresistible charm that can captivate you from the start right down to the end.

Ganta Igarashi has been convicted of a crime that he hasn't committed, and sent to a new, privately owned and operated prison, where the inmates are the main attraction in a modern day twist to the gladiatorial coliseums of ancient times. Throw in a healthy dose of weird little girl, some new-found super powers, and a little conspiracy theory, and you have Deadman Wonderland. [from onemanga.com]

Ten years have passed since the 'Great Tokyo Earthquake', a massive natural distaster that sank over 70 percent of Tokyo into the ocean. Ganta Igarashi is an unassuming 14-year old middle school student in Nagano Prefecture. Ganta is an 'escapee', a Tokyo survivor of the earthquake, but he has no memories of the disaster and simply wishes to play soccer and live a normal life. All that changes one day when a mysterious man covered in blood appears outside his classroom window. The 'Red Man' slaughters Ganta's classmates, but strangely leaves him alive after imbedding a crimson crystal in his chest. Ganta's life goes from bad to worse when he is blamed for the grisly murders and sentenced to life imprisonment in 'Deadman Wonderland'.
Deadman Wonderland is Japan's only privately operated prison, built after the earthquake as a tourist attraction to help revive Tokyo. The prisoners serve as staff and 'entertainment' for visitors. Due to the heinous nature of Ganta's crime, he is given DW's 'death sentence'. A metal collar placed around his neck slowly injects poison into his body. The only way to delay his 'execution' is by consuming a special candy-like antidote every three days. Shortly after arriving at the prison, Ganta meets a mysterious girl named Shiro, who seems to know Ganta from the past. He also befriends a prisoner named Yoh, a kleptomaniac with a talent for locating things.
Continuing to profess his innocence, Ganta becomes obsessed with finding the 'Red Man', who may be somewhere within the prison, and clearing his name. In the course of his search, Ganta begins to develop a strange ability to control his blood. He soon discovers a secret level below the prison that contains DW's 'Deadmen'. These deadmen, like Ganta, can control their blood and use it as a weapon. Ganta is forced to participate in secret gladiatorial deathmatches called the Carnival Corpse against other deadmen, in which anonymous people pay large sums of money to watch. The winner receives a large sum of prison credits (cast points) and a piece of antidote candy. The loser, if they survive the match, has a part of their body, selected by a macabre slot machine, removed for research.
[from wikipedia]

Comments for this manga:
well, the series is not yet done but as far as i've read, this is a hell of a manga. eerie settings with a highly disturbing plot.. with a variety of creepy characters to boot.
neck to neck in the dark-n-disturbing-o-meter with Battle Royale.

i suggest this manga. but recall that it's under "Seinen" genre, meaning that it is actually meant for mature audiences. not really adults since not all adults are matured enough...
this is not for the faint-hearted though. xoxo

liar game

2009-05-21T14:35:00.002+08:00

when i first saw the manga Liar Game, i didn't want to read it at all.
the drawings were not cute. not at all.
but the genre listed below its title intrigued me.
PSYCHOLOGICAL.
hmm... so, i decided to check out the first chapter.
and that was when i got hooked in it.
Liar Game has 73 chapters and running... [make the new chapters FASTER please.]
see wikipedia for details about the plot. oh, but i'm warning you. wikipedia's article on this manga is so detailed.
so detailed and so many spoilers.

basically, Liar Game is about an honest girl, Kanzaki Nao, who was inevitably chosen to join in this Liar Game. she was given 100 million yen right in the beginning. after 30 days, the Liar Game Tournament Corporation or the LGT will come to get the 100 million yen that they gave you at the start of the game.
you see, you have an opponent who also has 100 million yen.
and both of you has to return that starting money back to LGT after 30 days.
so, how are you going to gain money?
by stealing your opponent's money, of course.
if you manage to get your opponent's 100 million yen, then you'll have 200m yen. you give back your starting 100m to LGT and you get to keep the other 100m.
BUT. your opponent will have a 100 million yen debt.
that was Round 1 of the Liar Game.
anyway, Kanzaki Nao managed to acquire the help of genius swindler Akiyama Shinichi. he has just gotten out of prison for swindling a large multicorporation to its apparent ruin.
blah blah... he's not that simple though. his past is really interesting. not to mention he has a masters degree in psychology. he is downright skilled. really.

currently, chapter 73 is about Liar Game Round 3 Revival Round.

the manga tackles game theories, logic patterns, basic human psychology and all that.
basically, game theory is a branch of applied mathematics...
there. it's not so interesting anymore?
naah. it makes it all the more interesting. really. trust me.
all of the stuff they shove on to you will, sometimes, make your head ache. i mean, all those strategic plots and game theories and calculations and logic stuff are quite something to handle.
but you'll realize how interesting it is to mess up people's minds.

i strongly suggest that you read the manga.
you'll encounter several game theories and actual games that would, undoubtedly, perk up your curiosity.
you'll see several really messed up games like a 24-round Russian Roulette, a 17-card Poker game, a really intricate Contraband Game, Confession Game, Minority Game...
oh, and the game theories behind these games are all for real.
i was hooked. totally.

behind all those stuff, you'll see that one, if not the most, important theme of the story is trust.
trust and doubt.
trust and human instinct.
trust and self-preservation.
trust and self-sacrifice.

read on guys!

cuddly rabbits for execution

2009-05-16T16:01:00.004+08:00

these are the first three pages of that horror manga "Doubt"...
look how cute the rabbits were! uh.. i mean to say, are.

RABBIT DOUBT

2009-05-14T22:41:00.002+08:00

since i haven't bought Anthony Burgess' A Clockwork Orange and/or Milan Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being yet, i spent my oh-so-much free time reading whatever manga i can see...
we-ell. the manga Codebreaker wasn't completed yet and i would have to wait for a week for the next chapter. it just so happened that i came across this particular manga with this intriguing title.
DOUBT. or sometimes called, RABBIT DOUBT.
yes. that's the title.
and the first cover was intriguing as hell.
there were rabbits. cute, cuddly, little rabbits. i thought it was one of those oh-so-lovely shoujo mangas out there.
click.
next page: the rabbits were all bloody.
it was intriguing as hell. told you so.

Doubt revolves around a fictional cell phone game called "Rabbit Doubt". The players are rabbits in a colony; one of these players is randomly chosen to act as a wolf infiltrating the group. Each round, the rabbits guess which is the wolf as the rabbits are eaten one-by-one until none are left.
[courtesy of wikipedia.com]

uh-huh.
and, of course, since the genre of this manga is horror/thriller/psychology, it was already a given that there would be blood...
yes. there was blood.
that fictional cell phone game turned out real.
horribly real.

i was reminded of this slasher movie SAW. really.
there were decapitated heads, hacked off arms, poisoned thumbtacks, chainsaws...
and that seemingly central death execution method: HANGING.
the thing that disturbed me wasn't the gore. not the blood. not the carnage. not the decapitation and all that crap.
the thing that disturbed me was that the manga characters looked really cute!
i mean, the characters were CLAMP-ish, cardcaptor sakura-ish... and they were being hacked to death.
it was disturbing. imagine sakura chopping off tomoyo's arms in a killing frenzy...
told you. 'twas disturbing.

since i'm a great fan of nonconformity, let me hail this manga for catering to my unusual tastes.
i am proud to say that the ending was not what i expected.
it was unpredictable [unless you googled it before reading].

if you want some wicked sense of revenge, hypnotisms, bloody deaths, cuddly and frightening rabbits, sneaky wolves... with cute manga drawings to boot... i recommend this manga.
20 chapters. completed. it IS short.
not that complicated though. but it is dark, let me remind you.

one regret though. it left me with this odd sense of emptiness...
hmm...

off topic: "someone" suggested that i make a forum about that "shades of gray morality" stuff...
maybe i would. i'm not yet over it anyway. and it is a good topic after all.

signing off for now.

codebreaker

2009-05-12T22:10:00.003+08:00

an eye for an eye...
a tooth for a tooth...
and evil for evil...

would you kill a murderer?

that is the theme of this manga i'm currently reading. i was just browsing onemanga.com when i came upon this particular manga with such an interesting plot.

it's about this guy, Code Breaker number 06, whose part-time job is to kill murderers and all those "evil pests" of the world using his superhuman "blue flame" power.
together with a certain martial-arts-expert, justice-for-all, thou-shalt-not-kill, straightforward girl, they go on various life-and-death [yet really intriguing] adventures.
and the story begins...

would you kill a murderer?

i, for one thing, do not believe that morality is black or white.
it is in shades of gray.

life is important. very much, indeed.
but if you would be killing someone who caused so much suffering and pains to so many people, would that be wrong?
if you would be getting rid of vile creatures who leeches on others' lives, would that be considered evil?

"What constitutes evil, real evil, is the taking of a single human life. Whether a man would die tomorrow or the day after or eventually... it doesn't matter. Because if God does not exist, then life, every second of it, is all we have..."
-Anne Rice, Interview with a Vampire

all of those comic book heroes that we've idolized during our childhood...
they kill bad people, right?
they get rid of the world's trashes to make the world a safer place to live...
right?
superman, batman, spiderman...
the justice league...
all of them.
they get rid of bad people.
and that's why they're called Heroes of Justice.

now, thinking about that in a different perspective...
would killing a murderer make you a murderer as well?

there's this one case in the manga wherein the target was a filthy rich politician who uses human trafficking to get organs.
they cut up the bodies and all that.
there was even a man in there, already dying, telling our main characters to just kill off the f*cking politician for cutting up his daughter.
believe me, i was sooo in the mood of killing him right then and there.
if only his sick little daughter in a wheelchair hadn't showed up.
turned out that the politician was obtaining organs of rare blood types to find an organ that would match his daughter's.
tough luck.
and i was in for a battle of morality.
the politician realized that what he had done was utterly, terribly, horribly wrong. and in front of his superhero-comics-fan daughter, he confessed that he is a villain and that our Codebreaker 06 is a hero of justice who came to destroy him.
of course, codebreaker06 burned the politician to ashes.
there were tears in his eyes, mind you, but there's no point being emotional during such crucial times.
and then the little daughter threw her comic book to him, screaming, "even if he is a villain, he is still papa! you killed papa, you monster! i hate you! even if you're the hero, i hate you!"

now, again..
would you kill a murderer?
would you, even if it might make you a murderer as well?

humans all have the capacity to kill.
it's a primal instinct after all.
survival.
it's just that in this civilized order of life, we don't have the willingness to destroy another of our species.
as said in a movie once, "when pushed, killing is as easy as breathing."

told you, i was in for a tough morality battle.

read the manga. i'm not yet done with the chapters but i can tell that it'd be worth it.

dysfunctionality

2009-05-09T20:42:00.003+08:00

NOTE: i don't need comments regarding this post. this is angst-filled rambling. don't read on unless we're close enough or you're indifferent enough.

you have been warned.

--------------------------------------------------------------
have you ever felt extreme resentment and anger towards one particular person?
that intense desire to inflict pain just to let him know about all of the bottled-up hatred that you have?
ugh. yeah, yeah... hatred is such a strong word. I KNOW.
fine, then. let me use the word "resentment" for that matter.
*inhale* here goes nothing...
I RESENT MY FATHER.
*exhale*
finally. i said it. [or rather, i wrote it.]
i don't know when it happened. i wasn't actually keeping tabs on it but before i knew it, it has been piling up, higher and higher, ever since...
maybe, during my early childhood, we were close.[TAKE NOTE: were]
but that was waaaaaaaaaaaaay before.
now, if someone would tell me something about our closeness, i would have laughed my head off.
him and me? CLOSE?
oh. for your EFFIN' sake!
my mom told me that i should just understand what he's going through. that heart attack and all that.
yeah, yeah. but that's not enough of a reason for him to act like some sort of a moody, spoiled brat who knows nothing but to gripe about the world.
my mom told me that whatever he does, he's still my father.
yeah, yeah. since when?
he's just there for our financial needs. (not exactly. i'm fending for my own here. well, not exactly but something like that.)
c'mon, what does he want?!?
i've been an achiever ever since i was born. i've gained so many f*cking awards and so many f*cking certificates and so many f*cking medals AND HE DOESN'T EVEN GIVE A DAMN.
not even a hint of recognition or congratulation or anything like that.
my mom said that he's just not showy with his feelings.
i said, the hell with that.
if his childhood has been f*cked up, that doesn't give him any reason to share that experience to us.
he trusts no one.
really. not kidding.
it might be that no one trusted him before. but that doesn't mean that i'm like him. he may have screwed up his teen life and he might be one of my biological parents but that doesn't mean that i'm like him.
no effin' way. never. nuh-uh.
he thinks that everyone's just the same and he focuses on the negative sides of people.
c;mon. who in the world would like such person?
in front of people, he is such a good, responsible, hardworker.
what can i say? he's a good actor.
i love my mom. she trusts me with all her heart and i won't give her any reason to doubt me. she understands what i'm going through and she's always there to fight for me. i may be a little stubborn and, sometimes, she gets mad, but i still love her with all my heart.
however, i really resent her husband.
i wish that she had gotten a different husband.
someone once told me that if my mom had gotten a different husband then her child wouldn't have been me.
if only i could tamper with the past...
speaking of parents and tampering with the past, has anyone read Palahniuk's RANT??
no?
read it.
and if that were for real, i think i would do it. [paolo, if you are reading this, CHEERS. i told you before that i was thinking of this.]
not to my mom though. of course not to her.
i think i would even risk the idea of her forgetting all about me if i could just give her the life that she deserves. all luxury...
again, ONLY my mom. not her husband.
i know all about my pride. i am proud, yes. and i'm proud to say that i am proud.
but, i also know the extent of my pride.
when i know that i'm the one who's in the wrong, i know how to apologize.
i told you, i know the extent of my pride. pride, not arrogance.
but if i strongly believe that i am right, then i hold my ground.

"...the truly dangerous are those who are fighting solely because they believe that they are in the right, and that's what makes them really dangerous..."

possibly true.
i'm not sure though. haha.

i can choose my friends but not my relatives.
apparently so.
because if i CAN choose my relatives, certainly my mom's husband would have been different.
i can say that i hate him though "hate" is a strong word. maybe someday, i would resent him enough to be able to finally use a stronger word that would suffice.

ever heard the question: friends or family?
i say, my friends are my family.

ENDNOTE: again, i don't need comments regarding this post. if you were troubled by my thoughts, i won't apologize since it wasn't even my fault. you have been warned from the start.

insomnia

2009-05-08T00:44:00.003+08:00

the title of this entry says it all.
yeah. it's already 1 in the morning and i'm still wide awake.
nuh-uh. not even a bit sleepy. not even one bit.
maybe it has something to do with the fact that i slept for four hours this afternoon..
or maybe it has something to do with me being in front of the PC this late..
you know what they say about computers and televisions hindering sleep.
i really shouldn't post another entry right after my UP enrolment entry but since i was getting quite tired of reading manga and watching anime, i reckon that my blog needs to be fed.
so here i am! the ever diligent blogger... feeding my ever cute blog. LOL.
see, this is what happens when the sun goes out and darkness shrouds the sky...
haha.

as i stand, exhausted, hungry, disheartened atop a giant stone
i can see mangled corpses scattered along the street
with maggots crawling, wriggling, feeding on the flesh-and-bone
i just hope that the gods to whom they prayed, they meet.

lol. just one stanza for you gore-lovers out there.
i might be sleeping soon. i mean, i might TRY to sleep soon. maybe i'll just lie down and wait for Mr. Sandman to visit me. he's always forgetting me. i wonder why...

bonafide

2009-05-07T21:02:00.004+08:00

I am now a bonafide engineering student of the renowned University of the Philippines.

yay!

'twas good, actually. aside from the fact that it was raining quite hard today and i ended up like something dragged out of a lake...
i mean, yeaa, 'twas good. the upperclassmen were really friendly. my priority number was 8 so i was one of the first students who finished the advising phase.
and...
I GOT THE GE SUBJECTS THAT I WANT!
kas1, socsci3, and eng11.
uh-huh. i wasn't enlisted in any blocks but i got the GE subjects that i wanted.
*applause for me* cooool.

some say that UP students are arrogant and all that.
we-ell... when everyone around you talks about the statistics of the UPCAT, how good you are to be able to enter the university, how hard it is to survive in the university, how you're with intellectuals from all over the country, ad infinitum, the tendency is that you take it all in.
and, most of the times, it is the small details that hammer the point home.

everyone already knows UP, the state university.
everyone knows its fame. its excellence. its prestige.
you enter UP, you already have this certain mindset regarding the school. in turn, you already have a certain mindset regarding its students.
and you get this contemporary version of nationalism: UPianalism. [or whatever you want to call it]

today. advance registration fourth day. freshman year. first semester.
the UP people already started to induce UPianalism to the freshies.
not that i dislike it anyway.
it's good after all. you feel confident about your capabilities.
the dean of the college of engineering told us this morning that whenever we wake up in the morning, we have to look at ourselves in the mirror and tell ourselves "I'M GOOD."
yea. it makes you confident. it makes you feel good about yourself.
and, yeah.
it also feeds your ego to no end.
not that i dislike it anyway.
feeding your ego time after time is good. humans need to feed their ego after all. it's part of life.
but if your ego is already well-fed... feeding it even more would cause an upsurge in yourself.
and you start to think that you're better than anybody else.
that won't be so good.
i mean, c'mon. you can't be better than the rest of the world.
and if you already know that you're good, then there's no reason for you think that you're better than other people.
you already are.

xoxo

pacman crushes the hitman in two rounds

2009-05-03T20:47:00.003+08:00

the anticipated Fight of the Century lasted approximately... four minutes.

manny pacquiao vs ricky hatton.
filipino "hero" pacman versus the british hitman.

and everyone thought that it was going to be some sort of a legendary battle between those two fighters...

and then the legendary battle lasted for TWO ROUNDS.
four minutes, give or take.
two minutes per round.
the Hitman was already lying sprawled on the canvas just a few seconds before round two officially ended.
he was basically mauled by Pacman.
Pacman was continuously giving his opponent right hooks, right hooks...
but it was the left hook that got the british boxer biting the dust. [yay. alliteration. haha.]
what a waste.
everyone was anticipating for that match!
they could have made it to last longer than two effing rounds, at the very least.
not that i don't agree with the idea of "hit fast and hit strong."
it's just that the people were quite disappointed that the supposed legendary match ended in aproximately four minutes...

hit fast.

and hit strong.

quite true.
the first knocks are crucial in determining the outcome of a battle.
or of a game.
or of a competition.
or of a fight.
or of even a brawl.
or of a match.

the Hitman was good. there's no doubt about that. he is one of those who were considered in the hall of fame of the boxing world.
he is good.
no doubt.
but he kept on using the same techniques. the same movements. the same attacks.
he was quite bad in the field of adaptability.
Pacman works on speed.
he knows he is fast and he makes full use of that ability.

i am not a sport critique. i don't know boxing that well. i am not even a fan of the sport.
at the very least, i am someone who can identify patterns based on observation.
and as far as my limited observation skills can tell, the Hitman works in a pattern-based manner.
the Pacman, on the other hand, starts the match using his own pattern.
THEN...
he switches to various patterns as the match plows on.
he makes use of his speed to deliver strong jabs.
and let's not forget that it was his left hook that got the Hitman sprawling...

yeaaaa.
i forgot one thing: CONGRATULATIONS PHILIPPINES.
kudos!

and, mister world champion manny pacquiao, CONGRATULATIONS. [you won't read this, i know. but congratulating someone has never been considered a crime so... why not.]
mister world champion, you already gained a legacy.
a good legacy at that.
you don't have to ruin that by getting yourself involved in politics.
you're already world-renowned.
the filipinos respect you. some people even idolize you. others scream their heads off for you. some even engage in verbal and not-so-verbal fights for you.
the legacy that you have is something to be proud of. and i'm certain that you are.
keep that legacy. protect it.
...creating something that will surpass life itself...
that would be legacy.

eight hours

2009-05-01T19:06:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY DEARIE SLASH PARTNER CARLA MIA REUNIR YECLA!!!!

eight hours.
time is relative.
it depends on your companions, your closeness with them, the rapport established among you, the interest that you have towards them, the depth of friendship, the fun that you have when you're with them... the list goes on.
eight hours could be dragging when you're with someone who doesn't interest you.
eight hours could be a torment when you're with someone you don't really like.
eight hours could be so much as eight years when you're with someone you can't stand to be with.
eight hours could be very exhausting when you're with someone you don't really get along well with.
eight effing hours is long...
but that still depends on the people you were with.
i mean, c'mon...
eight hours is still not enough when you're having fun.
eight hours is still not enough when you're laughing with your best buddies.
eight hours is still not enough when you're hanging out with your beloved friends.
eight hours is still not enough when you're enjoying your time doing everything [or even nothing!] with people you like.
eight hours is still not enough when you're with people who interest you.
eight hours is still not enough...
that is, when you're with your dear friends.

eight hours.
basically, that's how long the DEARS were together today.
ten to six.
eight hours.
eight SHORT hours.
i know... we-ell, time is relative.
i'm reiterating that.
celebrating the birthday of our dear DEARIE carla, eight hours i still not enough.
hanging out, talking, TimeZone-ing, videoke-ing...
even just walking everywhere and putting our already aching feet under more stress...
c'mon. when you're with friends, time flies.
okay. let me rephrase that.
when you're with friends, TIME SOARS.
precisely.

the DEARS.
yeaaaa. that's the name of the famous group of thirteen international idols who are taking the world by storm.
pop idols, renowned writers, versatile actors and actresses, public speakers, lawyers, engineers, programmers, broadcasters, finance analysts, legendary hackers, spies, martial arts experts, combat professionals, underground rulers, egyptian gods and goddesses, witches...
yeah.
you name it, we have it.
and yeaaaa. the thirteen international idols have been living for quite some time. no, they're not immortals.
they're called Elder Souls.
they may grow old and die but their souls have been living several lifetimes already.
no, not reincarnation. these thirteen people can recall every single thing that they've done in all of their lifetimes.
yes. they're THAT amazing.
i know.
and yeaaaa...
i'm sort of kidding.
well, i was kidding. of course. for crying out loud...
well, even if the story above is not for real...
even if the name "Dears" is quite corny and seemingly trivial...
i know one thing for sure.
i so love them.
and that's more important than being a legendary hacker or an egyptian goddess whose soul has traversed the limits of time-space continuum.
precisely.

going once, going twice

2009-04-24T22:03:00.002+08:00

daniel smith, US marines officer, REannounced NOT GUILTY by the court of appeals.
do you recall those times when all the local primetime news were filled to the rim with accounts, stories, testimonies, videos, ad infinitum of "nicole" and her "rape".
hey, those quotation marks dont mean that i dont believe nicole's first testimony. the quotation marks just mean that i am only quoting after the people involved in the incident and, therefore, could not be held accountable for any misunderstanding.
well, it's not as if i was interested in her case anyway.
maybe she was raped. after all, who in her right mind would try to raise hell [or file a messy lawsuit] by claiming to be a rape victim of some US marines officer?
and again, maybe not.
as i said earlier [or typed, for that matter] i wasnt interested in the case. it wasn't a murder mystery [unlike ted failon's wife's case]
but then, all of a sudden, nicole "the-rape-victim-who's-supposed-to-be-fixing-her-broken-mangled-life" revised her written and signed testimony.
she had claimed that daniel smith raped her.
now she's claiming that it might not be quite so true. she's saying now that she could have been attracted to the young US officer and it could have been that she followed him willingly.
she had STRONGLY TESTIFIED that daniel smith raped her.
now, she's backing out of the hell that she, herself, had raised.
now, the primetime news are filled with reports saying that it was all part of a good "romance" story between the local towngirl and the US marines officer.
okay.
let me say something.
CRAP.
yeah. let me repeat that.
CRAP.
all's crap.
i'm not judging what really happened. raped or not, i dont really care. as i said, the case doesnt interest me. what caused me to raise a brow was the fact that the victim backed out!
she backed out.
she revised her written and signed testimony. TOTAL EFFIN' OVERHAUL, i might add.
how could she? she raised enough hell to satisfy the little demons around the planet and then, all of a sudden, she's backing out...
how much did they pay her?
besides, as far as my limited knowledge on law can tell, one cannot present new evidences in the court of appeals.
now, how come nicole was able to revise her already SIGNED testimony?
raped or not, you can't just revoke your own testimonies.
you're contradicting yourself by testifying that someone forced you to do something that you didnt want to... and then after that, stating that you did it willingly.
what the hell.
you cant just order someone to be killed and then a couple of days later state that you were just having some severe mood swings.
"...oh, is he dead already? sorry about that. i didnt really mean for you to kill him. it was that time of the month, you know. mood swings and such...'
wth.
as far as im concerned, i cant do anything about this. not that i want to.
i would not want that nicole to revise her testimony for the second time and retestify that daniel smith really raped her. i would be wanting her head by that time.
let's leave her alone now, shall we.
it might be her "time of the month" again.

summerjob for yours truly

2009-04-18T18:17:00.003+08:00

i was looking for a summer job.
SSS declined my offer to help them in some clerical/office stuff in exchange for a meager sum of money because they thought that doing so would be tantamount to insulting my exemplary skills.
...
yes. i was joking. apparently so.
well, let's restate that.
SSS declined to hire me in a summer job due to my lack of college registration form.
yes. they can't hire newly-highschool-grads.
how sweet.
but all wasn't lost.
i think i might have mentioned to my aunt something regarding my interest in having a summerjob. and well, i think she was able to remember that clearly.
very clearly, in fact, for the reason that today, i got my first ever summerjob as a tour guide.
yeah. you heard me right. [in this case, you read me right.]
left home at 5:30 in the morning. arrived home at 6 in the afternoon.
the excursionists were a bunch of hospital staff/ medical people. doctors, assistants, med students, interns... [not to mention their families] you name it.
a total of three buses.
there were five tour guides, including me.
i was partnered with a good family friend, ate ja. she's charming. good social skills as well.
itineraries were tagaytay and lemery, batangas.
'twas cool, actually.
the ride was pretty tiring but since the shuttle bus was airconditioned, i didn't dare complain.
what i really wanted to complain about right now is this feeling of disappointment for the excursionists.
i mean, we went to this so-called Fantasy World, a supposed magical Disneyland look-alike originally created for members of a certain corporation.
take note: SUPPOSED.
it was downright disappointing.
boring, at the very least.
yes, the castle designed after the royal gift of King Ludwig II of Bavaria to his mother was good.
but, that was all.
the castle was good.
but whatever happened to the entertainment aspect of the theme park?
was that really a theme park?
the only purpose that anyone could see in visiting that place is to take lots of photos.
i mean, LOTS.
don't get me wrong. the place wasn't that spectacular. 'twas good, as i've said, but not THAT good as to leave a lasting impression.
but the only thing that you can do while trapped inside the massive 195-hectare Fantasy World is to take photos. so you tend to take lots of it.]
btw, i mentioned 195 hectares, right?
it has a 195-hectare land area. it's just that no one would be able to see the big deal out of that.
sad, sad thing. indeed.
i'm just disappointed for those bunch of people. i mean, they ought to have a good time during that trip. well, of course they did. i was there.
kidding.
me, i was drained. the ride itself was really, really exhausting. but since the pay is good and i get to have free rides to various places, i can't really complain.
well, not that i would want to. hehe.

Appreciation and Gardens

2009-04-17T17:28:00.004+08:00

imagine you're watching some japanese drama online, then you suddenly felt this feeling that you should check your yahoo messenger account...
imagine that you shrugged it off as some sort of weird intuitive crap...
then imagine that, after a few hours, you logged in your account [finally...] quite in time to see an offline message with "URGENT" all but written in it.
*drumroll*
so much for the weird intuitive crap.

that was five days ago...

then just when you think that it's going to be a "get-together party", it will turn out to be an awarding ceremony...

hmm... an Appreciation Day would be the better term for that.
or so DepEd Mandaluyong call it that.

'twas cool, actually. i mean, the idea of seating in the front row was really cool. the "student achievers" were seated based on the extent of their achievements. namely, regional and national.
basically, national competition winners sit on the very front row.
told you, 'twas cool.
the idea that the Superintendent Dr. Florencia Domingo recognized me and actually greeted me by my first name was... er.. would it be so redundant if i say that it was cool [??]

come to think of it, everyone of the "student achievers" brought their parent/s with them to that event.
or rather, almost everyone.
i know of at least two students who did not.
mico subosa was one of them.
guess the other one.
you have three chances, and the first two don't count. LOL.

Mr. Rosarito Septimo was there! [but, of course... he IS supposed to be there after all.]
he even commented on the fact that mico and i didn't bring any parent with us.
but, hey, i brought my sister. [as if she did placed the medal around my neck...]
sir septimo told us that it's fine with us not bringing our parents since we've already done much by ourselves [travelling alone, living outside your comfort zone for one year, and learning a new language would seem to be on top of that list. at least, for me.]
he really is a wonderful principal. he has done heaps for me. for mico as well. he was there when i was having such a hard time with the AFS exchange stuff and all that. he even came with us to various places just to obtain necessary requirements and papers for my visa. he also used money from his own pockets for that visa....
he was there before i left for argentina.
and he was gone when i came back.

he, a man of simple ways and great virtues, was ready to go out of his way just for the sake of his beloved students.

a true students-first-myself-later man.

and i sound like some whiny fanatic with a father complex... LOL.

certainly not, but....

don't hold this against me but he is still my highschool principal, that is, as far as i'm concerned.

earlier this day, i got my stipend!
my last highschool stipend.
aww... the memories... =D
mico AKA best gay [guy, i mean] buddy AKA international housepet AKA Coquemate and i were talking about relationships, friendships, philosophy, and all that.
'twas a good conversation, as usual. we even created impromptu quotes! yay! great minds think alike.
or should i say, "great, great, great, intelligent minds think alike"? quoting Miss Oblation Aura Keziah Soriano, mind you.
Oblation Scholar, i mean to say. gee, no offense, aura! peace!

some of the quotes we created, impromptu:

"Someday, I will look at it with mature eyes. But as for today, I am still immature. And i'm loving every bit of it."

"In this garden, I prefer to look and observe as many flowers as i can before finally plucking one for me to keep for a very long time."

"When you want someone to be with you for a long time, you'll feel it in your heart. To be with you for a long time. A very, very long time, perhaps, but not forever. Forever doesn't exist yet."

"Lovers can't last a lifetime. Friends do. Bestfriends, even more so."

"It's just like icecream. You have to try all sorts of flavors. You can have your flavor of the month, or even flavor of the year. And after you've tried as much as you can, you can now have your favorite flavor. The one you won't get tired of even if that's what you're going to get every single day of your life."

Those are just few of our very philosophical impromptu quotes. *ahem*

Sooo... people out there, stop going from single to stupid over and over.
how about going from single and having fun to not-so-single and still having fun?

it's like what i read from "How to Read Like a Literature Professor".
"...when reading a book becomes an ordeal, quit. it's not as if you're getting paid to read it..."
if something becomes an ordeal, quit.
don't get me wrong. i am against quitters.
i repeat, i am so against quitters.
but most of the times, a challenge may come in the form of an ordeal. you just have to find out and realize for yourself if that something is really an ordeal... or maybe, it's really a test hiding behind the grotesque mask of frustrating ordeal.
as long as you're having fun, go for it.
but always keep in mind: YOUR RIGHTS END WHERE OTHERS RIGHTS BEGIN.

ciao! xoxo

insTUtitution

2009-04-11T19:35:00.003+08:00

Someday girl I dont know when were gonna get to that place
Where we really want to go and well walk in the sun
But till then tramps like us baby we were born to run
- Born to run, Bruce Springsteen

what was taking me so long to update this blog anyway?

done reading Chuch Palahniuk's RANT.
'twas amazingly unique. shook the hell out of me.
the concept, once again, is powerful. the plot was executed flawlessly.

done reading Sidney Sheldon's MASTER OF THE GAME.
sheldon is a great storyteller. he can weave in and out of various timelines, executing his wonderful story with precision and deft.

and i sound like some palahniuk-sheldon fan right now.
well, am i not? haha.

what if you can be a god in exchange for your identity?
what would you do?

anyway, i was supposed to have some summerjob right now. the thing is that they don't actually accept newly-grads...
uh-huh...
so although i'm already 17,, and i'm actually supposed to be already in college, they just won't go against the company regulations that easily...
so... basically, no summerjobs for me. LOL.

'twas a few days ago, i saw this huge tarpouline for a soon-to-open computer learning center... that itself was not interesting enough. that is, until i saw this word...
"INSTUTITUTION"
im not going to post the name of that computer learning center to spare it from further humiliation since i reckon that the tarpouline itself is doing that job very well.
i mean, c'moooon...
insTUtitution??
do you think that it could possibly be a marketing technique to coerce people into enrolling in your learning center?
......
yeah. me neither.

---> currently watching Kimi wa Petto

and... currently trying to learn nihongo! [operative word: TRYING] teehee...

since i dont have anything interesting to share right now, im off!

ciao!
xoxo

myth and reality

2009-04-02T14:27:00.004+08:00

hi. long time no post. anyway, graduation is over. the curtains of our highschool phase has been closed. but, of course, it wouldn't be closed forever. just for this moment. temporarily. i'm going to post something good regarding the graduation and all those goodbyes and see-you-laters but that'd be for some other time. i still have to get everyone's photo to make that post-graduation entry really memorable. teehee...

anyway, according to mico, i should visit a site http://www.truechristian.com/atheists.html. he was bashing the stuff on it in his latest blog entry so i decided to take a look...

and, lo and behold!

i am not an atheist but i just can't NOT react to the stuff posted on that site. i mean, c;moon... read on to know.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

[[ the stuff in bluegreen font are copied and pasted VERBATIM from the site mentioned above. i have no, and i repeat NONE WHATSOEVER, affiliation with the site administrator. if you have anything against my comments, see this blog's disclaimer note.]]

Myth: On average atheists have higher IQs.
Reality: They are demons, meaning they are slaves to Satan. Since of this they don't think so thus have an IQ of 0.

oh. ok. haha. IQ of 0? that really exists? i mean, c;moooon... get real. and, hello? atheists don't even believe in satan so why would they be slaves of something they don't even believe exists? uh-huh...

Myth: Atheists believe in Logic and Reason.
Reality: Firstly, I don't like how atheists use those words. They capitalize Logic and Reason since that's the lies they worship. We use God and Truth since they are things we posses and we prove this by using capital letters. Atheists who do the same thing are mocking Christianity.

gawwwd. i don't actually know whether to laugh my head off or... uh... laugh my head off [??]. i mean, it was a classic! haha. the usage of capital letters denotes things you possess?? c'mon. whatever happened to common sense? got lost somewhere in the process of waking up and typing that post...? and, btw, spelling and grammatical errors can all be held against the administrator of that site. i am simply copying and pasting VERBATIM.

If you EVER make any friendly contact with an atheist, you will go STRAIGHT to Hell. Jesus will NEVER receive you, you fools. GOD HATES ATHEISTS WITH ALL HIS LOVE!

tell me, how can ou hate with love? somebody enlighten me, please. and, whatever happened to "love thy enemies"? gone with the wind, i reckon... right, mister site administrator? five point for you.

Firstly, never take your children to public school since you don't want them to be brainwashed by religious beliefs. Home school them and teach them only about the Bible and God's Love for all. Tell them the truth about atheism and they're religion: Evolutionism. Satan planted them in schools and things to make atheists look smart and appealing when the truth is they are all communists who wallow in their own vomit and lick the rectums of dogs. Since that's all atheists are, filthy stinky homosexuals who hate everyone. They should all die, as God orders us to kill them all:

i was simply staring at the monitor for quite some time after ive read this. and then, i burst out laughing... i mean, what the hell... what sort of god would want his children to be secluded and isolated from the rest of thr world, learning nothing but the bible and all that..?

So the answer is simple. Kill all atheists immediately.

whatever happened to "thou shalt not kill"?

The Judicial system has been America's big enemy in the battle on establishment of the atheist religion of hating God. Back in the day we would hang them, set them on fire, poison them, enslave them, or just FORCE them to convert by threatening to kill their young. We do all of this in Love. We are Christians, and Love is our main goal.

you force people to convert religion by threatening to kill their children AND THEN you say that you do it all for LOVE?? wth...

All atheists hate Christmas. Godless countries like Japan with the population of atheists being 90% don't even CELEBRATE Christmas. Luckily the population of atheists in America is 0.000000000000000000001% so the odds of us finding one is still slim. The Truth is, atheists hate happiness and want to steal the love of Jesus away from children. This is what the atheist is, a cold and evil grinch who wallows in her own vomit. Atheists in America try saying there is a seperation of church and state in American, but the fools don't realize that God says in the Bible we are to colonize all nations to be Christian and run theocracies. America is a theocracy and the proof of this since the word God is on our money and pledge. They will never take these away from us since God is an American.

OMG. god is an american? fine... for argument's sake, let's do this. jesus was born in bethlehem. bethlehem is CERTAINLY not in america. jus soli, negative.
jesus' parents, mary and joseph, were born in nazareth. nazareth is not in america. jus sanguinis, negative.
now, tell me... how would he be an american? what drugs were you taking?
2000 BC, america wasnt even discovered yet. so... uh... how come?

Jesus WASN'T Italian or French or British or Thai or a Metrosexual, NO He was American. THAT'S WHY AMERICA IS UNDER GOD!!!

i hope that the site administrator would be helped by his/her loved ones. he's got a serious case of mental deficiency.

that site was so funny. better check it out. i repeat, i am not an atheist but you just wouldnt be able to keep yourself from reacting after reading lousy and funny stuff about the greatest religious sect ever known to man. a Supreme Being is real, and that site, that insane fanatical ignoramus who created that site, was derogating christianity...

btw, check out mico subosa's site for more comments.

here's more:
this time, that site was derogating evolutionism.

The Evolutionism Way: From Water to Life!
All Evolutionismists follow the principal that humans come from water. Now Christian Common Sence would tell us that you can't have water turn to humans, but try to convince an Evolutionismist that she is wrong by that idiotic theory that they have. Oh yeah, and remember, Evolutionism is just a THEORY as they say, meaning they are just pulling this idiotic information out of their ASSES!
Anyway, Evolutionismists "think" (they can't really think since they are so dumb) that life comes from water, and that humans came from the initial life that was created. So I decided to try this experiment even by using the Scientific Method (which is another contridiction of the Bible, thank you). This experiment would consist of filling up a glass of water and leaving it outside, lets give it a day and see how many cities and skyscapers will be coming from the humans that evolved from this glass of water.
Conclusion: After coming back to the glass of water after a day, I found no humans, no skyscapers and no life! Uh oh! Looks like the Evolutionismists were wrong.
i mean, just c;mooooooooooon. a baby won't sprout out of a glass of water!! what were you thinking? again, what drugs were you taking? ugh. stupid, stupid argument. learn how to argue first before you open your mouth [or move your fingers, in this case]. you know the quote: better to shut your mouth and allow people to think you're stupid than to open it and leave no doubt.

Any Christian will tell you the religion of Carbon Dating is WRONG. Why? Since if it were correct then Genesis and all of God's Word would be in contradiction. This is impossible since God is real since the Bible say's He is. Therefore, Carbon Dating is false.
omg. no comment with this one since you can't really teach someone who doesnt want to be taught. carbon dating is false... how cute. haha.

there are more! heaps more. but my tummy's getting too painful from laughing too hard. gonna ring up some friends to share this. cool. read it my beloved readers.

gonna post something else. maybe tonight.

see image below

2009-03-19T17:09:00.002+08:00

so far, i've been posting entries that consist of nothing else but tags and...
more tags [??]
hmmm... what can i say then? we've got less than ten days until graduation. now, we're actually doing nothing more at school. just grad practices and all that...

i dont want to post anything regarding graduation yet here. that would have to be written someday around the graduation day.

i cant actually post anything at all. i dont have anything to say... hahaha... well, i dont have anything to say that would not compromise promises that ive made and such.. haha...

just let me share that one interesting picture above.

till here then. xoxo.

TAGGED

2009-03-12T19:01:00.002+08:00

Tagged again!!
------------------------------------------

Three things that scare me
1. Losing the people i care about and/or being hated by those people
2. Being buried alive
3. Seeing my own blood gushing out from me

Three people who make me laugh
1. friend
2. friend
3. friend
[haha. trick question! haha.]

Three things I love
1. Reading a good book while sipping a slush milkshake
2. Spending time with good friends and just having fun
3. Adventures

Three things I hate
1. People who pull you down just because of their insecurities
2. Disappointments and failures
3. People commanding me what to do [i dont have any problems with people TELLING me what to do. i just hate it when some people tell you what you should do with that smug look on their faces that seems to scream "I KNOW BETTER THAN YOU." haha. they don't.]

Three things I don’t understand
1. How does the Bermuda triangle mystery REALLY works?
2. Is the concept of time travel REALLY that improbable? I reckon that it's not all that impossible but will it ever come to be?
3. How does eidetic memory comes to be? Is it genetically related? Is it a random stuff from the gene pool? What?

Three things on my desk
1. Lots of pens and papers
2. Books, books, and more books
3. A jar of candies and gums

Three things I am doing right now
1. Er... updating my blog [??]
2. Finishing the powerpoint stuff for sir abad
3. Chewing a mint-flavored gum

Three things I want to do before I die
1. SKYDIVE!
2. Publish my own book
3. Travel around the world in a wild adventure!

Three things I can do
1. Hmm... memorize the periodic table of elements [haha. who couldnt?]
2. Learn whatever i put my mind into
3. Write good quality stuff

Three things you should listen to
1. classical music
2. your inner self talking to you [hahaha...]
3. sound of the wind whispering age-old secrets [wth.]

Three things you should never listen to
1. People who say "Nah. You'll never be able to do that."
2. Phone crosstalks
3. Strangers approaching you for a conversation

Three things I’d like to learn
1. To play the guitar or the piano
2. To speak two more languages (deutsch and nihongo)
3. To drive a car

Three favorite food
[another toughie]
1. pizza and pasta!!!
2. guiso de fideo [my argentine hostmom's delicacy]
3. ICECREAM.

Three beverages I drink regularly
1. rootbeer [not beer. ROOTBEER. haha.]
2. coffee with cream
3. buco juice [i dont know but we have an almost-everyday supply of this in our house]

Three TV shows I watched when I was kid
1. doraemon
2. teletubbies
3. sesame street

Three favorite books[this is a tough one for a bookworm like me.]
1. Any of the Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice
2. American Gods... or any of Neil Gaiman's works
3. Dreamcatcher by Stephen King... or any of his stuff.

Three people I like to tag.
1. mico subosa
2. marc fajardo
3. angelique piano

end of the beginning - 30secondstomars

2009-03-11T21:25:00.003+08:00

i was tagged by marc. im IT!!

-------------------------------------------------------

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
angels brought me here

"...it's been a long and winding journey, but i'm finally here tonight..."

[hala naman. simpleng tanong, anong sagot yan?? haha.]

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
miss independent by neyo

"...she walk like a boss, talk like a boss... she got her own thing..."

[nagulat ako. kamusta naman.]

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GIRL? (boy, in my case.)
awake by secondhand serenade

"...you're an angel disguised..."

[nice one! lalala...]

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
why don't you get a job by the offspring

"..."

[haha. the title is better than the lyrics!]

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
nothing's gonna stop us now by MYMP

"...and we can build this dream together, standing strong forever..."

[hmm... sounds nice.]

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
asu no egao no tame ni (gatekeepers)

"...kokoro to kokoro fureaeba yuujou ga umareru..."

translated as: when one heart touches another, friendship is born

[this is sort of cool.]

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
white houses by vanessa carlton

"...maybe i'm more clever than a girl like her..."

[haha. who'd get the inside joke? i wonder...]

WHAT IS 2+2?
mi unico amor by jambao

"...te fuiste mi unico amor... que me ocupe el primer lugar..."

translation: you left my only love... let me occupy the first place

[wth... 2+2 talaga yan. haha.]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
hero heroine by boys like girls

"...and you are my heroine..."

[well. true, true...]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
stigmatized by the calling

"...we live our lives on different sides but we keep together you and i..."

[no comment.]

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
p.s. i love you by amber pacific

"...people call me crazy, crazy..."

[haha. i was laughing my head off with this one.]

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
my heart by paramore

"...this heart. it beats, beats only for you..."

[this is surprising. haha.]

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
i'll stand by you by carrie underwood

"...nothing you confess could make me love you less..."

[ookaaay. gonna confess then, lalala...]

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
the painter by o-town

"...the canvas could never capture the light of your smile..."

[sige a. sayaw talaga. haha. tignan natin...]

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
paint it black by the rolling stones

"...I see a red door and I want it painted black; No colors anymore I want them to turn black..."

[grabeee... cge cge. nice funeral song, dear playlist!]

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

unforgiven by metallica

"...new blood joins this earth..."

[grabe. wala akong makitang babagay sa tanong sa lyrics nito. kamusta naman kasi. haha."

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
unforgiven by creed

"...i kept up with the message inside..."

[how suitable...]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
kaleidoscope world by francis magalona

"...every color and every hue is represented by me and you..."

[nice, how so nice. kudos to the master rapper.]

WHAT IS WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
thunder by boys like girls

"...you'll always be my thunder..."

[sooo... worst thing that could happen will be a thunderstorm??]

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
salvation by the cranberries

"...to all the kids with heroin eyes..."

[whoa. i will die of heroin overdose then??!]

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
not falling apart by maroon 5

"...now im stuck living out that night again..."

[haha. pangit ng connotation ng regrets ko sa lyrics na yan aa.]

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
dedicated by fort minor

"...and everybody speaks in a dialect of rhyme..."

[haha. ang galing. cnu naman kasing hindi tatawa jan? saya,]

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
tama ka by eraserheads

"...tama ka walang saysay kung itutuloy pa..."

[okaaay.]

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
give me a reason by the corrs

"...carry, carry me through..."

[the title itself was good. the lyrics can be for the honeymoon part. haha.]

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
a puro dolor by son by four

"...agonizando muy lento y muy fuerte..."

translation: suffering very slowly and very strongly [painfully]

[uh-huh. looking at it that way, it seems that im scared of slow and painful death. but that song IS a love song. swear.]

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
a penny for your thoughts by U-turn

"...a dime if you tell me that you love me..."

[nanlilimos ng pagmamahal?? haha...]

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
papercut by linkin park

"...points out all my mistakes to me..."

[what else would i change? and why? WHY would i?]

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
wake up call by maroon 5

"...would have bled to make you happy.."

[i reckon bleeding hurts.]

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

end of the beginning by 30 seconds to mars

[[this was cool. haha. i laughed, i scratched my head in confusion, i shook my head in incredulity... all in one sitting. twas cool. thanks for tagging me, marc!]]

so the drama

2009-03-04T20:25:00.002+08:00

never thought that making a 5-minute-or-less can be this cool..
hahaha.
'twas cool, really!
you just have to watch our video to see it for yourself. *winkwink*

PATHOLOGY.
journmates' fifth movie ever since we started to TRY to do our radio broadcasting project.
the operative word: TRY.
yesterday, we were SUPPOSED to do our project.
naaaa, really.
it was our 3rd day in trying to do so and we were quite eager to start. AT LAST.
haha. we thought wrong.
while waiting for mico, who was still answering his eco long test (which was quite difficult, mind you), we decided to watch Pathology for just a moment.
the plan was to watch the movie ONLY UNTIL MICO ARRIVES.
and then mico arrived.
and then he told us that he forgot our radio script.
haha.
and we ended up watching Pathology.
we-ell... that's us. the journmates. haha.
anyway, the movie was good. the cinematography was really great. the screen shots were amazing. the concept was disturbing. the portrayal of violence was quite graphic. nudity. death. body organs. entrails. deception. and have i mentioned DEATH? lol.
we didnt get to finish the movie yesterday though.
anyway, we did get to see the entire movie today.
during journ time.
cool, isnt it? haha.
anyway, we DID get to do our project TODAY.
an amazing feat, mind you...
we rushed it, actually. but even so, it was goooood. we-ell... hahaha!
especially the infomercials. 'twas really funny! you've got to hear it for yourself.

anyway, something just sort of crossed my mind...
blame james for bringing it up during that "supposed-project-making-time-turned-movie-watching"
we sort of talked about the coming graduation. and then we talked of how were our elementary graduations.
the fact that we werent THAT affected by it...
the fact that we thought that we'll meet again, and maybe that was why it didnt affect us THAT much...
the fact that it seems as if "dinaanan lang namin sila"... not my words, mind you.
then, my mind was suddenly burdened by that sad fact.
i mean, this would be my second batch, for crying out loud!
and that means that this would be my second batch with whom i would inevitably say goodbye...
well... we have to part ways. we all have to.
but that doesnt mean that we'll lose sight of the track on which we tread for so long...
that doesnt mean that we'll forget the friendships that we've made...
doesnt mean that we'll throw away every second that we've shared with each other...
doesnt mean that the path will not cross once more...
NO. it surely wont end that way.
...pag gusto, maraming paraan...
yeeeaaaa... PRECISELY.
and as long that you know that you are connected with each other, then it doesnt matter whether you see each other everyday...
or every week...
or every month...
or every year...
you'll always be connected with each other.
and that is what's important.
the flames of friendship will burn even brighter and stronger when the breeze blows...
never let it be snuffed out.
why am i being so melodramatic anyway? graduation is still a month away...
er... LESS than a month away, rather.
till here then. or else i might be typing more stuff and i wouldnt be able to type anything anymore after graduation. hahaha.

XOXO

turn on the lights

2009-02-27T22:15:00.002+08:00

UGH.
i dont know. i just wanted to rant for hours... i need people who'll listen to me. i want to ring up everyone close to my heart and rant and rant and rant and..
well, you get the idea.
it's so freaking gloomy. the vibes is so freaking ominous. i so freaking hate it. does it freaking show? ugh. freaking life.
how would you not hate someone who doesnt even appreciate everything that you're doing, who regards you as insignificant and unlucky, who doesnt even support you, and all in all, doesnt seem to love you?
how could you not hate that someone?

...her smiles dont mean that her eyes dont cry; she comes off strong but that doesnt mean that there's nothing wrong...

yinyang.
the balance of life.
i fully believed in it. really. swear.
now, im trying to do my best to look for it.
where is yinyang?
or, more specifically, where is "yang"?
whatever happened to newton's "for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction"?
defying the laws of physics... if were talking about that then i wish i could do something about mind control or what.
or maybe... what i want is an escape.
a good escape from reality.
a good adventure, so as to say.

...though my soul may set in darkness it will rise in perfect light; i have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night...

i am strong.
always been. always will be.
what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. i truly believe in that. my soul may get scarred and damaged and cracked but it will not be destroyed.
no, it wont be.
it's like a scar tissue. stronger, more resilient... sensitive, yes. but stronger.

i have lots more to say. but i prefer not to. not here.
what i want right now is to cry my heart out. but i dont know why i cant.
the tears wont flow. haha... how ironic...
btw, to anyone who will read this, im not an emo.
emotional, yes.
an emo, no.
far from it, actually. i look at the world through multicolored glasses. but right now, the color of my glasses could actually be quite dark...
can anyone turn on the lights, please?
*sigh*

just dont mind this entry. im ranting. if you havent noticed that yet.
i need to talk to someone. anyone. ugh.
never mind.

turn on the lights
it's getting darker
the shadows are coming out
reaching for my sheltered heart
tendril fingers extending
turn on the lights
the darkness is scary
even a sliver of dawn
a tiny pinpoint of light
a small sense of hope
of a bright new morning
of a sunrise filled with gladness
turn on the lights
obscurity is shrouding
everything in sight
disappearing
turn on the lights
[what the. ano nanaman yang biglang tnype kong tula-tulaan jan.]

anyway, till here.

what's in a name DAW

2009-02-27T21:50:00.002+08:00

[[i got this from angelique's site. it seemed cool to try it.]]

YOUR REAL NAME
Kimberly Trix Boñon Lee

WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & father's middle name)
Araojo Lim (nice one! ang cool ng dating.)

STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, LAST 2 letters of your first name)
LEELY (haha! natawa ako dun aa..)

DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Black Tiger (oooh. sounds cool.)

SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Boñon Mandaluyong (er...ansagwa aa..)

SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Blue Rootbeer (what the... haha.)

FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 3 letters of your last name)
Kilee (bakit ba laging three letters ng last name kinukuha? kanina pa aa.. eh THREE LETTERS LANG NMAN TLGA LAST NAME KO.)

GANGSTA NAME: (fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Double Dutch Oreo (parang... nakakatakam.)

YOUR RAPPA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)
Kimizzle (pa-cute ang effect nito.)

YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Cindy (parang witch aa.)

YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (your first pet, and the street you grew up on)
Cindy Gonzaga (haha... pang-porn ba yan? weh,,,)

scream

2009-02-22T20:28:00.002+08:00

today is sunday.
this coming tuesday will be our final periodical exams.
we've got lots of projects to make, notes to take...
and today, i just got home at around 8pm.
wondering why?
im wondering as well... haha.
it was supposed to be a project-making session with my journmates.
meet up at 9am, record our radio broadcasting project, study something, go home.
that was the supposed schedule for today.
take note: SUPPOSED.
i, for one, woke up at 8:30. hence, i knew from the start that i would be a bit late. and then, everything started to go downhill when i rang up my other journmates to find out that only angelo would be able to get on the meeting place on time.
i mean, the others were still sleeping soundly. based from their parents' testimonies. haha.
and off we went to our meeting place: 7eleven near sanfelipe.
waiting...
waiting...
waiting for bryan and james...
waiting...
and you get the idea.
and off we went to mico's place, deciding that we'll just going to phone those two later on.
only to find out that those two were already waiting for us at mico's place...
wth.. haha.
and... only to find out that we have no cassette player.
no microphone either.
and so we had no choice but to wait for mico's neighbor to come home at around 4 in the afternoon.
we were left with more than five hours of time to spare.
and what were we supposed to do with those more than five hours??
MOVIE MARATHON.
first movie: One Missed Call, japanese version.
quite a random movie.. not so creepy.. quite confusing... the ending was crafted quite badly...
second movie: Scream
this one really turned our adrenaline switches ON.
Scream was a movie that really makes the viewers SCREAM. lol.
i was actually trying to solve the calculus problems before the movie started.. then i ended up solving nothing more. wahaha..
well, im still happy that i managed to solve several problems during the One Missed Call movie viewing time. wahaha...
anyway, regarding the movie, the script was really good. the irony of it all was really entertaining.
and the fact that the movie was created way back made it all the better...
the script of the movie was original. 'twas good.
kudos to the screenplay writers and the director!
good work!
ah well... in the end, we ended up doing nothing. we had fun and everything though. at around 7pm, we were trying to create our scripts for our radio broadcasting project.
louie was really good. he can act out a drunk man, a flirty wife, an annoying kid, a weird granny, and even a creepy dog...
cool talent you got there louie!
anyway, one last week and there'll be nothing more to worry about! yay! am excited...
till here!

icons for everyone

2009-02-14T23:14:00.002+08:00

done with my mapeh project. cooool. loved the concept. i just dont know if i loved how i portrayed my concept. LOL.
i mean, im quite gifted in the field of conceiving new ideas and stuff like that.
im just not that gifted in the field of arts...
with respect to drawing and sketching, im all good.
but throw in some colors and my whole world tumbles upside down. haha.
sooo.. lemme see..

let me congratulate AURA KEZIAH SORIANO for being one of this year's OBLATION SCHOLARS.
congrats partner aura!
then, CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL UPCAT PASSERS.
GO FIGHTING MAROONS.

SPECIAL A.
the wonderful manga im currently obssessing over.
soooo damned cool.
if takishima kei were real... HAHA.
anyway, since i dont have anything to say right now, let me just share some of the new icons that ive got for my icon collection.

i soooo love icons. (waaaaay good to state the obvious, m'dear)
anyway, if you, my respected readers, haven't noticed it yet, the right column panel of my blog is stuffed with icons of all sorts.
if you have new icons, could you please... PLEASE... share them with me?? *puppy eyes*
im collecting icons. not-that-new hobby, you might say.
anyway, till here.
XOXO

btw, i just want to post this icon.

one of my newest favorites... *grins widely*

benjamin almeda

2009-02-13T19:00:00.002+08:00

benjamin almeda, our class' very own Saint Nicholas.
021309 it is? and we thought that s/he was going to reveal his/her identity to us today.
we thought wrong.
haha. but then again, as the mystery goes deeper... the excitement and thrill goes higher!!
and, maybe, that's what benjamin almeda wants to obtain.
and besides, s/he has given us black bags with our names on it!
awww.. it was really touching.
...and the bottom of this mystery is yet to be reached...

im not someone who's into posting short entries but then again, there's always a first time for everything.
this may not be my first, but it sure wont be my last. LOL.

btw, the university of the philippines rang us up a couple of days ago, telling my parents that im already a bonafide UPCAT passer.
coooool.
imagine, the university itself was the one who gave my parents the call!!
i feel so special. hahaha... (lemme wallow in it for a second or two.)

elections for SSG officers 09-10...
lots of options... lots of thrill and excitement...
it was the election of the year.
can anyone hear the dripping of sarcasm here??
if there's anything that i certainly hate, it's boredom.
the lack of excitement.
the lack of luster.
boredom.
ugh.

short entry? or not so much.

till here.

a couple of weeks and counting...
let's all seize the day.
CARPE DIEM.

amazing race: students edition 2009

2009-02-09T21:52:00.002+08:00

AMAZING RACE: STUDENTS EDITION.
showing earlier this afternoon.
location: mandaluyong.

the weather was just fine... not too sunny.
the air was swelteringly humid but at least Apollo was too busy with something else to pay attention to the occurrences down south.
anyway, my "teammates" and i were waiting in front of Adelina's store. we were supposed to hold RTU's Band's tarpouline. so we were just waiting...
waiting...
waiting...
you get the idea.
i mean, it seemed as if everyone already passed by and yet we were still there waiting for the freaking band to come.
ah gawd.
then RTU students came around...
so we were like "here they are!! ALAS!!"
but then, saying that they burst our bubbles is an understatement.
they actually smashed our hopes to pieces and stomped on those pieces until all that can be seen by the naked eye are tiny particles glinting under the light.
THE RTU BAND WAS NOWHERE TO BE SEEN.
hence, we rushed to DBTC to check if the bands were still there. i mean, almost every band already passed us by!!
we got there and, lo and behold!
THE RTU BAND WAS STILL NOWHERE TO BE SEEN.
our lucky star was really shining so brilliantly... ha. ha. ha.
so, basically, my "teammates" and i were inadvertently forced to participate in an AMAZING RACE STUDENTS EDITION.
brought to you by mandaluyong science high school...
we turned around and started our 100meter dash (although im really certain that it was WAY MORE than a hundred meters) to intercept the parade.
running...
running...
running...
you get the idea.
when we reached the final pitstop, maysilo circle, the first bands were already done.
what a luck. told you, our lucky stars were really burning soooo brightly up in the night sky.. ha.
but then again, we reached the final pitstop before most of our other classmates did.
my "teammates" and i didnt get to flaunt ourselves in front of the mandaluyong crowd but our unexpected marathon was something to be proud of.
(dont end your sentences with a preposition)
fine.
my "teammates" and i didnt get to flaunt ourselves in front of the mandaluyong crowd but our unexpected marathon was something to be proud of, right?
(there. no more prepositional endings. haha.)
it was amazing to think that we managed to go around mandaluyong ON FOOT.
my endurance is high and i dont get tired easily. maybe it has something to do with the walking fetish in argentina... but then again, that was in argentina. ive never done that here in the philippines.
it never crossed my mind that i would be able to walk from my house to mandsci.
ever.
but then again, nothing's too impossible.
or so they say.
me, for once, i can say that nothing is impossible.
can be a bit unlikely. but not impossible.

yes.. no.. yes... no..

2009-02-08T18:53:00.003+08:00

well.
yesterday, it was an unofficial PROPPHI day! it felt really great to hang out with your bestest friend in the whole wide world.
i mean, mico and i were talking about friendship (when was that again?). the thing is that friends always go separate ways. you can't command your friend to stay right where you are. no, dude. you're not hitler. you are a friend.
and the thing after that is that no matter how 'separate' your ways may be, you will still have that link that connects you.
that is, if the friendship is strong.
like what i've mentioned to our dearest mystery benjamin almeda during a philosophical ym conversation that included lots of profound quotes, friendship is like fire...
a breeze will snuff out a flame.
but if the flame is burning brightly... fiercely... that breeze would just cause it to burn even brighter...
fiercer.
and that is friendship.
and friendship cannot be measured by the length of acquaintance.
rather, it is measured by the depth of it all.
personally, i would prefer a friend with whom i shared all of 4 months to an acquaintance of ten years with whom i shared nothing.
time is not synonymous to depth.
but then again, time is a factor.
not a key element, though. just a factor.
and that is, maybe, why people who go through short, tough moments come out closer than people who've been acquainted with each other for years.
acquainting and knowing are different.
and, maybe, that is why friends who have shared both time and adventure and tears and laughter come out closer than ever.
the foundation has been laid so strongly.
and the walls have been built so firmly.
the walls of Jericho that no man can ever destroy.
except for the one inside the walls...

silence is the friend that never betrays.
that is actually true. so as to say.
silence doesnt mean yes. it doesnt mean no either.
it is the gray area between yes and no.
it can mean an answer that is better left unsaid, an answer that is capable of destruction, an indecision...
it can never mean the one or the other because, sometimes, it means both.

O FORTUNA BY CARL ORFF...
such a powerful song.
listen to it guys...

powerful... gripping...
i so love it!

[[reading anne rice's The Tale of the Body Thief while lisening to classical songs is really damned cool]]

RIDDLE-DEE-DUM

2009-02-04T20:22:00.004+08:00

jump. jump. JUMP!!
if jumping were a crime, then i know of a few people who would be sentenced to death...

jump. jump. JUMP!!
c'mon then everyone. let's all jump...!
...and vanish into the abysmal chasm of oblivion!!

i was thinking of the activity that we did in chemistry. we had to gather stuff and draw the chemical bonds of their components.
phenylalamine.
lecithin.
caffeine.
ammonium sulfate glycol.
salicylic acid.
citric acid.
and of course, polyvinyl chloride.
damn... so many polyvinyl chloride! i mean, having that much amount is enough to last several lifetimes!
i was so sick of them...

137,000 points gained in texttwist today.
that was a low score, really.
but that was really cool considering the fact that we were just figuring out the longest word and then on to the next level. so basically, we were just answering one word per level.
quite a job. or so they say.
texttwist is really fun to play when you're with "teammates".. haha.
wordpower congregation.

cleaning time during journ time.
the journ students were asked to clean but only a few people were left in the journ room a minute after that certain announcement was made.
ha! talk about being downright insensitive...
anyway, that was fine since the task was completed without too much mess and all that.
except for the fact that the red floorwax was really messy to begin with.
(wondering about the chemical components of floor wax... any polyvinyl chloride in it?)
besides, we had cokefloats courtesy of mam frias.
and imagine, we were just kidding around when we asked her to treat us!
cool mam frias...

run. jump. sway to the beat.
profundity behind the vivid images.
blatant truth shrouded with layers upon layers of euphemisms.
run. jump.
and sway to the beat.
those who have eyes can be blind...
those who have ears can be deaf...
those who have mouths can be mute...
what are you like?
...a pair of eyes, a pair of ears, a nose, HUMAN just like them. except for the fact that they have brains...
run.
jump.
sway to the beat.
riddle-dee-dum. riddle-dee-dum.
ever wonder how it would all come out if it all started to break loose?
ever wonder how it could end if it all started with a bang?
ever wonder how it would appear if it all seemed to vanish on sight?
run. jump. and sway to the beat.
riddle-dee-dum.

a bit tricky...
a bit in cognito...
just a bit though.
look beyond.
look FAR FAR beyond...
beyond the horizon of your perspective...

chau!

formal gatherings. NOT.

2009-01-31T19:57:00.005+08:00

long time no post my dearest readers!
anyway, heaps have happened during the time when i wasnt posting something new in this blog.
like, uh, say... the impromptu contest in UP diliman last monday. that was certainly cool... certainly quite thought-provoking and challenging but cool nonetheless.
i was pitted against friends.
well, the thing was two of my coAFSers and an acquaintance from the last STEP national competition were also contestants in the said contest.
but then again, it was cool since my social network was expanding... loved it!
so, i did not win the contest. but since we were 12 and only one was chosen, that was fine... haha. and the thing was they were telling me that i did really good. the only thing that went wrong was that the content of my impromptu speech was a bit off tangent. LOL.

is it really true that i dont show anything that denotes nervousness or anxiety?

they were telling me that i didnt seem to be nervous. hell, if only they could hear the palpitations of my raging heart... haha... i mean, my heart was skipping 4beats at a time!
but if my face doesnt show the anxiety within... then i reckon that it's a good thing. i mean, no one will know how nervous i am. right? and that's always a good thing. exuding confidence...

anyway, having a social network that transcends not only the city barriers, not only regional barriers, but also international borders!!
COOL.

anyway, just got home. went to jellah's place. supposedly, went there to do the feasibility project in economics. turned out that we didnt know what to do. or maybe we were just too lazy to do something academically related. so.. uh.. we just watched a movie... ate... talked... surfed the net.. talked... basically like that.

gradball.
turns out that people are planning for the upcoming gradball. i dont know but i dont want to have a gradball. not that i dont like to have it, it's just that i prefer something else.
ive had too any gradball-like experiences when i was in argentina... and im not really into formal gatherings that much.
i prefer something closer to my heart... like an adventure... like extreme sports... skydiving, if ever possible... paragliding, if ever... white waters rafting... zorbing, if it exists in the philippines...
you get the idea.
i dont hate formal gatherings. yeah, granted, i dislike it. but i dont hate it. my tolerance for formal gatherings varies depending on my mood.
and im so not in the mood to have a formal graduation event.
my preference for activities suited under the category "bonding moments" would be a good adventure with everyone.
a good adventure that exerts pressure on the mind and body can bond people in more ways than a grandiose social party could ever do.
anyone agreeing with me?

rushed day

2009-01-24T17:14:00.002+08:00

today was a day of adventure, i reckon. i left the house at around 8 in the morning and then i went home at around 5 in the afternoon.
nine hours of traveling back and forth, to and fro...
haha.
first, 4 almeda went over to my place to carry off the sacks of recyclable materials for the basura hunting.
we just cant give up winning!
anyway, it was my compensation for the fact that i couldnt go with them to search for more "basura".
then, mico and i went off to makati to visit our parliamentary "chief-of-staff" and to get our "token" from him as well.
dum-dee-dum. we forgot the time so at around 10AM we were rushing to the nearest MRT station to get to ateneo in time.
rush, rush, rush. well, you get the idea.
thing was that we went off the train in QC... and we have no idea how to get to katipunan from there. so we had to take a ride to UP, get off somewhere around vinzon's hall, then take a ride to katipunan.
how ironic. we asked a UP student about the whereabouts of the jeep that can bring us to ateneo.
cool.
we roamed ateneo, looking for acquaintances and basically just checking out the ambiance of the university. it was really nice, the people were very friendly. and we keep on thinking about ateneo's fame (sometimes, can be regarded as bad fame)
home of the rich and the famous.
ateneo has been called as such by many.
yeah, in a way, it IS home of the rich and famous. rich, since the tuition fee is quite skyrocketing... famous, since it IS one of the most prestigious universities in the country.
it's just quite interesting to immerse yourself in a university with such a high-end quality, diverse populace, and high-brow reputation...

now, back to the basura hunting crap...
4almeda lost.
in a fight between the first two letters of the english alphabet, the second letter bagged the prize.
brought home the bacon (or maybe, better said, the trash)
but then, all is not lost. maybe 4almeda wouldnt take it badly...
maybe 4almeda wouldnt try putting the blame on other people...
maybe. just maybe...

arlene dropped by my place. she left at around a quarter past ten... being my closest girl friend in this current batch, i trust her with secrets. and i reckon she trusts me the same.

"everyone clings to something, even the worst of us. this is how we define ourselves when no one is looking..."

lazy lazy me

2009-01-19T19:12:00.003+08:00

hmm... tomorrow's our periodical exams and here i am typing away and listening to my favorite soundtracks...

soooo...

though quite late, i would still like to say CONGRATULATIONS to MARC AGUSTIN FAJARDO and CEDRIC JUENE VERGEL for winning the economics quiz bee last saturday!!

rock on guys!!

anyway, i was staring at my long test in chemistry. you know, the one we took today...

im thinking about how simple life would be if we could only figure out things by drawing line bonds or by naming heterocyclical compounds and whatnots.

but life aint like that. (AINT?!! haha... go kimmie.. slang?)

by the way, the "mass pending cases" that mandsci seniors are experiencing right now seems to be a result of transcripts' error. (or lack thereof)

i dont know why but im feeling mixed emotions. and, for the life of me, i cant figure them out.

must have something to do with my life being in a rollercoaster ride this past few weeks. since the start of the year actually.

right now, i can feel happy, satisfied, proud, cocky, confident, lazy, sleepy, whimsical...

hahaha... you get the idea.

anyway, gotta go. such a short short shooooort entry for now.

poof.

quizzes

2009-01-13T22:26:00.003+08:00

You Are 7: The Enthusiast

You are outgoing and playful - always seeing the happy side to life.

You're enthusiastic and excitable. You love anything new.

Multi-talented, you do many things well... and find success easy.

You prefer to keep things light with others. Opening up is hard for you.

At Your Best: You are deeply involved in each experience. You appreciate life for what it is, and you take the time to enjoy each moment.

At Your Worst: You are greedy, self centered, impulsive, and insatiable.

Your Fixation: Gluttony

Your Primary Fear: Deprivation and pain

Your Primary Desire: To be satisfied and content

Other Number 7's: Howard Stern, Cameron Diaz, Robin Williams, Jim Carey, and Jenny Mccarthy.

What Number Are You?

somehow really true... haha...

You Take the Road No One Travels

You see life as a journey to be shared with others. Kinship and sharing are very important to you.

You live a life of leisure. You take your time in every aspect of life and enjoy it to the fullest.

You are all about risk and randomness in your life. You travel off the beaten path... in fact, you're often the one carving the way!

You are able to find a fairly healthy balance between work and play. You work when you need to, but you never let yourself burn out.

In another life, you could have been a great novelist. You have a knack for describing things in an interesting way.

The Road Trip Test

nice, nice... all about risks, huh? i know all about that.. haha. novelist in the past life? sweet.

Your Response is: Fight

When it comes to almost any situation, you're a fighter.

You're aggressive and intense. It's best if people don't mess with you.

No one is going to take advantage of you... or even get away with ticking you off.

Just remember to keep your temper in check. You don't have to fight everyone!

How Do You Respond: Fight or Flight?

lemme chuckle for a while here. nice, nice...

Your Thinking is Concrete and Random

You are naturally inquisitive and curious.

You're excited by new ideas, and you are a true independent thinker.

You are interested in what is possible. You like the process of discovery.

You are often experimenting, challenging old ideas, and inventing new concepts.

Rules, restrictions, and limit don't really work for you.

You have to do things your own way, and you can't be bothered to explain yourself.

What Kind of Thinker Are You?

i love these quizzes. am starting to get really fond of them. lol.

You Have Many Alpha Tendencies

You're not a total alpha female, but you certainly know how to - and like to - get your way.

You're forceful without being intimidating. You're confident without being vain. A perfect mix.

Are You an Alpha Female?

hmm... alpha female? sounds cool though.

You Are the Ace of Clubs

You go at everything in your life full force. You are a natural gambler.

Your life definitely has some extreme highs and lows, but you know how to ride out the low times.

A total adventure seeker, you are never satisfied by what's normal or ordinary.

You like to push limits and shock people. You're dramatic, but a drama queen.

Your life has been a wild ride so far. You have stories that people can barely believe.

And you're probably still young... with a lot of wild rides in front of you.

A gamble you should take: High stakes roulette

Your friends would describe you as: Crazy

Your enemies would describe you as: Demented

If you lived in Vegas, you would be: A high roller

What Playing Card Are You?

crazy? demented? rude much..? haha... but very true. LOL

The Part of You That No One Sees is Lonely

You are unique, witty, and even a little snobby.

You're quite proud of who you are, and nothing is going to change that.

You've paved your own way in life, and you've ended up where you want to be.

Underneath it all, you feel very isolated from the rest of the world.

It's hard to find people to relate to you on every level.

The mundane interests of your friends and family often bore or depress you.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

how true can this quiz be...

Your Mind is Purple

Of all the mind types, yours is the most idealistic.
You tend to think wild, amazing thoughts. Your dreams and fantasies are intense.

Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries.

You tend to spend a lot of time thinking of fictional people and places - or a very different life for yourself.

What Color Is Your Mind?

this is starting to be disturbing. why is it that everything seems to be true somehow?

You Are 55% Left Brained, 45% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.

Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.

If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.

Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.

Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.

If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.

Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

in whatever site i take this quiz (even with a real psychologist) i always get quite the same result. almost equal right and left-brain tendencies. sweet.

ACET

2009-01-10T20:42:00.004+08:00

YAY!!!
am soooooo happy.
you damn bet i am! elated, actually...
haha... loooooove it..!!
i passed the ateneo college entrance exam with a hundred percent scholarship to boot!!!
yay!!

today, lots happened.
there was the mandsci freshmen entrance exam...
there was MTAP...
aahh... MTAP... as if i'm going to get a score of 40 out of 50 in that! haha.
the exam, to be honest, was not that hard.
it's just that i have studied the topics included in that exam about 2 years ago...
i went to argentina for a year, remember?
i totally forgot the formula for finding the sum of arithmetic progression... and for finding A sub n... what the hell...
anyway, there's no way i'll be able to make it to the top students.
with my original batch, the three students composing the group were already "appointed".
marlon, rommel, marjohn.
the rest, uh, let's just say that we were there to fill in the allotted slots for competitors. LOL.
but then, math has always been my waterloo.
and im painfully aware of that.
anyway, after two hours of trying to squeeze out the needed information cluttered around our heads, the MTAP exam was finally over.
we checked out the uniforms of the mandsci applicants.
there were a few wearing this sailormoon-ish stuff. color red and blue. gah. it was so eyecatching that i decided to ask the name of their school.
then, i dont remember what exactly happened but we decided to go with the presidency to their "house".
uh-huh. riiiiiiiiight. DOTA.
we were almost sitting in front of the PCs when paolo reyes suddenly told me that arianne's mom was congratulating me for obtaining a hundred percent scholarship in admu.
but then i did not believe him.
he always seemed as if he's joking. dont blame me... LOL.
anyway, we decided to check it out for ourselves. but, heeeellllll... the ateneo site was damn slow that time...
anyway, we just decided to play counterstrike.
'twas really cool.
especially when you managed to kill the enemy who killed LOTS of your teammates!! haha...
then, since we were with the presidency, of course what comes next is quite obvious...
DOTA.
hahaha... i am such an ignoramus when it comes to DOTA and stuff.
imagine, bottom rank, TWICE.
i just cant forget paolo's younger sister, kat. she was good. second rank, i reckon. haha... go get 'em girl!! (she was an enemy, mind you)
anyway, it was fun. even though my crystal maiden (first round) was such a loser. haha. i was reading the descriptions of potions, techniques, etc etc... haha... it was hilarious. i kept on dying. whatever. haha.
anyway, we were supposed to eat out but then we forgot to bring our money. hence, going home was the only option.
yay! i wasnt alone during the ride since james decided to accompany me and just get off of the jeep in acacia lane.
went home, and then, i was about to ask my mom about the ACET results when she broke into a wide WIDE grin.
hahaha... turned out that mico rang them up around 8AM and told them that the ACET results were already out.
8 in the morning.
wow, mico. that was, uh, yeaaaaah...
and since i dont have the slightest idea about the middle names of 4aever people, i couldnt search for their names.

congratulations to all those who passed the acet!!!

went with my tita and baby sis to mega. shopped a little. ate a lot. shopped a bit more. ate a lot more.
you get the idea.

im quite excited to experience college life.
i dont know. my friends were telling me that i should not rush highschool coz when im already in college, i'll be missing highschool so much.
yes i know that i'll be missing highschool. who wont? but then, im a huge fan of adventure and i detest routine. i want something for a change. (one of the reasons why i went to argentina as an exchange student, actually)
college is a new phase in one's life. a twist, one could say. and have i mentioned that im soooo into adventures??

anyway, gotta poof for now.
have lots of books to read. i still have 9 pending books!! and more to come... haha...

XOXO

2009

2009-01-04T16:16:00.002+08:00

my dad just arrived from the hospital. he was confined since last december 30. he couldn't breathe that morning and we were panicking...
the doctors said that it's heart ailment.
basically, i spent the new year alone in the house. they were all in the hospital and i had to stay home. spent the new year watching anime and reading books while the rest of the world were screaming their hearts out for the coming 2009.
wasn't sad being alone though. half of the times, i prefer to be alone than to mingle with people i don't know.
but that's only half of the times.
anyway, the next day, i found out that they used a defibrillator on him.
crap.
meaning... uh... meaning, he almost...

my sister and i are really putting on our best performances to cheer everyone up.
thanks to the academy for our acting skills...

when i have to be strong for someone else, i don't want to cry...
there would be enough tears for everyone so mine would just be unnecessary.
and when someone else needs me to cling on to, i have to be stand strong...
or we'll both fall down.

happy new year.
i wasn't regretful at how i spent my new year. 'twas a time to contemplate stuff. and i can be very contemplative underneath the im-so-bubbly-look-at-me visage. hah. people have been telling me how i seem so happy with everything...
how i seem to face no problems...
how i seem to just enjoy life...
but then, what else can i do? i very well can't slap the world and wallow in sadness, can i? what else is there to do but to keep on living it?

"...that something that you want to achieve in your life, what is it?"
more often than not, beneath all of life's accumulated crap, you'll see that your wants do not coincide with that one ultimate dream.
more often than not, your wants deviates you from your dream.
what is that one thing that you want to achieve?
i replied contentment.
such a farfetched dream, right?
absolute contentment is nonexistent.
and my wants [whatever i want, actually] are just direct oppositions to that dream.
whenever a want is obtained, more wants would appear...
and thus, the path to contentment swerves more and more...
but then, im not looking for absolute contentment.
im just looking for contentment that when the clock strikes midnight, i would have no regrets as to how i lived my life.

disorder

2009-01-02T23:27:00.002+08:00

we-ell. am starting to like these quizzes and stuff.
how about trying it for myself? hmm...
my personality disorders??

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Disorder:	Low
Schizoid Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Disorder:	Low
Antisocial Disorder:	Moderate
Borderline Disorder:	Low
Histrionic Disorder:	High
Narcissistic Disorder:	High
Avoidant Disorder:	Low
Dependent Disorder:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders --

histrionic and narcissistic, huh?
and a bit antisocial and OC... uh-huh...
we-ell... can't be perfect. hahaha...
i was condemned to the 5th circle of hell and now, look. haha. sweet.

5th level of hell

2008-12-29T01:41:00.003+08:00

i was reading dear mico's blog a while ago and i stumbled upon this test.
upon answering it, i found out that:

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

nice. they banished me to the 5th level! imagine... 5th level.
that was... far.

oh, and read dear mico's entry on HYPE BOOKS. haha. 'twas cool.
but twilight was profoundly elaborated by dear rosie
'twas reaaaaaly cool.

am currently downright addicted to BATTLE ROYALE.
search it on wiki if you dont know about it.

"...it's like social darwinism. survival of the hippest."
- quoted from a character

oh, btw, heard about the TWILIGHT TELESERYE.
twilight?
tagalized??
craaaap. what would be the title?
DAPITHAPON: ANG PAG-IIBIGAN NG PROMDI AT NG ASWANG...[??]
sounds.. uh... just waaaaay bizarre.
"...with rival named ASKAL and a little daughter named TYANAK...", as a friend once said.
laugh out loud. tagalized version? nuh-uh. 'twas no longer that tolerable in its original version.
borrowing from a friend: nonsense out of nonsense? that'd be great. first time someone tried that out.
anyway, let's just wait for that. more to mock, eh?

gotta keep on my current addiction.

battle royale

2008-12-23T09:40:00.004+08:00

yesterday, the DEARS have gathered.
yesterday, Red: The Traveling Bear was introduced to our group by mico.
yesterday, we watched friends kill each other.

yes. you heard right (or rather, read...)
friends kiling each other.

BATTLE ROYALE.

it is not a new film for that matter. it is a japanese novel turned manga turned movie.
and it's about society gone mad.
adults vs youth.
every year, the government picks a class and that class would be sent to a far off island for the Millennium Education Reform Act.
what's that?
they kill each other until one remains.
and they have this waterproof shockproof collar around their necks whose bombs can be triggered electronically.
the limit is three days.
at least one dead body every 24 hours or the bombs would all explode.
and...
there must only be one survivor. or the bombs would all go off.
they have to play. or they die.

it was a damned good idea, honestly. but then, we started thinking of the what ifs of that film..
what if we were there?
what if we were chosen to be part of The Program?
what if we were forced to kill someone?
under those circumstances, would our sanity be enough to get us through?
or would the limitations of human sanity be blatant?
under those circumstances, would we have the capacity to kill?
would we crack under pressure?
would we yield to the animal inside?
in reality, it is not the capacity to kill that is the issue. everyone can kill.
it is the willingness to kill that matters. the resolve to take away one's life.
under the grave circumstances, the life-and-death situation, what would happen?
it is easy to say things at our current situation. easy to decide at this moment since we are not under the pressure of killing or being killed. but in an insane twist of fate that that situation be real, could we trust logic to prevail?
could we trust our rational selves to predominate the irrationality of it all?
could we trust ourselves?
man can kill. but man will not.
when faced with a situation as grave as this, will man kill?
when morality is no longer an issue, you're back to the primitive ages, and the primal instinct is the instinct to survive... what will you do?
there is a thin line between sanity and madness. if you went to hell and back again and to hell and back again (you get the idea), could you cross over that line and not go back to the sensible world?
kill or be killed.
under that circumstances, which would you choose?
"...we are not playing the game but that's not to say that they're not playing either..."
who would be there to trust?
who would trust you?

what if the government gave you a gun with one bullet and you ought to shoot someone in the head with it... someone from your class...
if you don't do it, everyone in that class will die of gruesome deaths.
the catch is this: you're the only one who knows the choices. you cant explain things beforehand.
what will you do?

now, what if after shooting someone (or not shooting someone and getting everyone killed in the process), the people left alive would be sent to the deserted island for the reform act?
what will you do? who would you shoot?
shoot yourself? good idea since you would no longer experience the gruesome reform act. but could you really escape? are you willing to die THAT early on?
shoot a friend? he might not get why you would kill him. he might damn you to the deepest pits of hell. his last thoughts might be "i thought better of you". but it would be for his own good. swift death over long torment.

what if the situation above was given BEFORE the class was taken to the deserted island?
you all know what awaits there...
everyone was begging you to kill them. now.
what would you do?
killing yourself is a good idea. but would you leave your friends to fend off on their own?

mico and i spent about three hours talking about the psychological and philosophical aspects of the film/novel/manga.
spent three hours talking about the what ifs...
the storyline created an impact on me. there were no villains, to tell you the truth. they weren't given any options. they have to play the game or they die.

gonna read the manga...

mangathon. bookathon. moviethon. phone-a-thon???

master authors

2008-12-21T13:24:00.004+08:00

haven't posted for quite some time. i just didn't have any inspiration to write on that moment... haha...
soooo... christmas party.
the almeda's christmas party has been fun. really.
GO MELO AND OLIVER. haha. just kidding. don't wanna be assassinated yet, you know.
im happy. i received four books!!!
FOUR BOOKS.
cooooool.
joyce gave me neil gaiman's ANANSI BOYS!!
rowane gave me neil gaiman's NEVERWHERE!!
mam frias gave me a book of stephen white
paolo gave me The Craving...
looooooooooove it!!!
thanks guys!

i'm a few pages short of finishing American Gods by Neil Gaiman...
(it's not that obvious thati'm soooo into neil gaiman these days...)

he's just downright magnificent.
he writes sooooooo damned good!
i wish i wrote his books. haha...
he is a writer who doesn't thesaurize his words... i mean, he uses highfalutin words, yes, but he uses those words because those words were appropriate in the context of what he was writing. unlike so-called writers who speak of "chuckling blackly" [how can one chuckle BLACKLY again?] or "his eyes rolled down my shirt" [gawd. was that horror??] or "i feel bored and perforated" [oh my. someone opened the thesaurus for the word 'bored' and got the word 'perforated'. so, uh, you were punctured?]
and his books have plot. there is the beginning, middle, and ending. unlike some other books out there who tried really hard to make the plot appear, and having failed to do so, were forced to just state the plot. rather crude, if you might ask me.
beginning was cliche. ending was rushed. middle, or rather, MUDDLE, was... uh... muddled.
no comparison with neil gaiman's works.
and neil's characters are really developed, intricately and realistically. not like some cardboard stereotypes out there in some books who seemed to lack life. they just seem to move because that was what the author requires them to do. an insult to the intelligence, so as to say.
and just for the fact that stephen king, that master author, stated that neil gaiman's works are intimidating is saying something.
neil gaiman is good. no doubt. you just have to read one of his works to figure that out. try reading GOOD OMENS... or AMERICAN GODS... or STARDUST... or any of his wonderfully crafted works...
you wouldn't be saying that a hype book is good.

i've finished Anne Rice's The Vampire Lestat.
hey, if you're a vamp fan, read Anne Rice. not Meyer.
Anne Rice's characters are so deeply developed and intricately designed that you'll really believe that they exist. you'll feel their emotions, the very logic of their actions, the sensations...
the characters are so realistically made that you'll think you know them like they're your friends.
and you'll certainly love the plot. there IS a plot! not like... uh... *winkwink*
anne rice is still the Queen of the Vampire Genre.

i've committed a bookworm crime, dearie.
i haven't read sidney sheldon's Master of the Game yet.
gawd.
sidney sheldon is a master of suspense writing. his storyline formats are unforgettable. he can craft a masterpiece that spans several generations and yet everything would come out clear... he can craft a wonderful twist, so magnificent that you would be blown out of your mind... he can use the flashback format perfectly, you'll never know what hit you...
he is the epitome of imagination. when you're deeply engrossed in his craft, you'll realize that everything can happen in the world of books... and you wouldn't be able to wait anymore to venture further...

there are lots more... michael crichton is really good. jeffery deaver, too. kathy reichs. and heaps more...

well, i reckon this entry will end here. i'll finish the pending books. then, i'll post a review.

amalgamation of words

2008-12-13T22:23:00.002+08:00

it has been quite some time when i last posted an entry here in this blog. we have been quite busy. as you can see, we've had the Seniors Christmas Concert last night. the preparations have been overwhelmingly extravagant, we know. especially for our section.

for three consecutive days, we have been crying our hearts out. if only we've gathered all the lachrymal secretions that we've shed, we could have filled a jug or what.

there will be more battles to come but as long as we are together, we will come out not unscathed but definitely stronger than before.
we have learned lessons in life. heaps of it, actually.
sometimes, there are lessons that are meant to be learned the hard way. there are lessons that cannot be learned in any other way except through the most damaging way possible.
"...what doesn't kill you will make you stronger..."

in an ironic twist of fate, unity put wings on our backs and carried us high... leaving the important values behind.

it is not the goal but the process of how you reach that goal that is important.
i remembered something i've said during a recitation.
"...the ends justifies the means..."
and it was opposed by my teacher. after that, it didnt cross my mind anymore. then, it was stated again.
stated but in a revised version.
"... the ends DOES NOT justify the means..."
and in that moment of reckoning, it dawned on me that the revised version provides for a clearer sense than the original quote...

washing one's hands off the matter at hand would not do anything remotely good.
one might think, might believe, that s/he is not involved. but let us recall that when you follow evil, that is considered evil as well.
and, uh, not to mention the saying UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL

have heaps to say. heaps to share. heaps...
but time is directly contravening to my desire to continue my rantings...
well then, until here.

NCR PARLIAMENTARY TEAM

2008-11-24T22:15:00.003+08:00

i dont know how to start this entry.
well, im back here in mandaluyong after almost a week in baguio for the 7th national skills and development competition.
the NCR team won 2nd place in the parliamentary competition.
GO NATIONAL CAPITAL REGION PARLIAMENTARY TEAM!

i remembered that sir manuel was training us for higher endurance. well, the contest last friday really required endurance.
imagine, from 8:00AM up to around 10PM we had to keep our brains working efficiently.
there were 15 teams competing with each other.
15 teams of different regions.
the NCR team presented as the 11th demonstrating body based on drawlots.
we were actually wondering if that was a blessing or what. i mean, they were telling us that last year, the contest commenced at around 9AM and it ended around midnight.
we were afraid that, this time, the contest might end at around 2 in the morning.
that would not be a good thing since man's endurance is fallible.
well, what happened next was that i was the first interpolator from our team. together with abel of rizal highschool, we observed team number 1.

BS Physics.
this is the credential of the chief parliamentarian.
we were griping about that during the entire contest.
i mean, BS physics is good but in a contest that requires the knowledge of law and parlia procedures, the chief parliamentarian should be knowledgeable in that field.
last year's chief parliamentarian was a major in taxonomy, minor in psychology.
wth...
he could have been a lawyer...
he could have been taking up PolSci...
why physics though?
motions in parlia are VERY different from motions in physics.
he's not even familiar with basic technical and law terms.
if the point of order raised was deeply technical, he would give no points for either the interpolator or the presentor.
and he kept on overruling our points of order.

region 4B, MIMAROPA, last year's parlia champion presented as the 2nd demonstrating body.
we were watching out for them. apparently.

the contest ended at around 10PM...
we then went to watch Mr and Ms STEP competition.
NCR MR STEP REPRESENTATIVE WON FIRST PLACE!
that would put a lot of pressure on next year's mr STEP.
good luck next-year-rep! gaby did a good job as the mr STEP.

saturday.
it was free time for everyone!!!
sadly, mr chair and madam secretary had to go back to manila to fulfill their other responsibilities.

saturday night.
1,2,3 pass was the name of the game.
we were making quite a noise in the lobby that several people told us to be quiet.
being so, we decided to play the game in the cafeteria-which-is-not-used-by-people
then sir manuel came! he brought donuts for us. (thanks sir!)
we were almost complete. the NCR parlia team was almost complete.
except for the fact that two already went back to manila and one was staying in a different hotel (he couldnt get a taxi at that time of the night)
the three MaSci students were missing in action.
we asked sir manuel to join our 1, 2, 3 pass game... but he decided to call the shots for the next game.
he asked for a bottle.
my head "accidentally" began to ache... lol.
he wouldnt let me go, though.
no bottles could be found but a ballpen was nearby.
sir spun the pen too hard and it landed somewhere under my chair. sir manuel picked it up with the tip of the pen pointing towards me.
nuh-uh. i pushed sir's hand away that the pen flew somewhere in the cafeteria. but he got hold of a phone and he spun it.
this time it was pointing at me.
and there was no doubt about that. (the heavens conspired against me! haha)
truth or dare?
i cant go wrong with "dare", i thought.
haha. thought wrong.
well, let's just say that they tricked me into yelling someone's name.
and, uh, they placed me in a "hot seat".
define crush. admiration. PRECISELY. but they didnt want to accept that definition. uh-huh...

sunday.
it was a day of adventure...!!!
we roamed the city... ventured the area...
we were posing everywhere while mam lacson, mam oben, and the mandaluyong supervisor mr paras took photos of us.
lucky us! imagine, the supervisor was our temporary photographer. cool.
*gonna post the pictures in my multiply after some days*

sunday. 7:30PM.
awarding ceremony.
i wont go into the little details, okay? we were all tired and sleepy.
i even used my sunglasses to cover my eyes while i was sleeping.
then, after the hundred of categories of the NSDC, here came the category of "OTHER CONTESTS"
under that category were business planning and the most anticipated parliamentary procedure contest.
btw, region 11 won the first place. region 4B mimaropa won 4th.

im quite tired and sleepy right now. i still have another contest tomorrow. RSSPC.
gotta sleep.
poof.

bump car

2008-11-15T20:27:00.002+08:00

today was the last day of our parlia training.
we were almost complete. except that oliver(MaSci) and lawrence(fort boni hs) were not present.
today was fun. really fun.
morning. we were playing around with the office chairs...
haha.. it was my idea actually.
the bump car idea.
imagine us sitting on our seats and trying to bump each other...
it was hilarious.
then we played mico's "ikot race"
we turned and turned and turned until our heads swirl then we try to tag each other.
it was downright ridiculous. but it was also fun.
i love my parlia teammates. the "bonding moments" were really funny. just teasing around and all that.
too bad our presiding officer has a full schedule. he's missing in the fun.
(parlia teammates who can read this, this cannot be used as an evidence to say that im missing oliver. lol.)

we've watched last year's national parlia competition's videos.
then we raised point of order. there were lots of procedural defects in the presentations of the other regions.
haha... go NCR!!!
we were told that we ought to be unfriendly when we arrive in baguio. no one must know that we're from NCR. if someone asks us where we're from, we ought to refrain from answering.
we know it';s rude. but they cant know that we're from NCR.
if they find it out early on, we would be at a great disadvantage since national competitions are always NCR VS PHILIPPINES
lie-low.
this is the rule.
im not yet nervous about the contest. but the videos that we've watched and the statements of those who were there last year, it was... uh.... fear-invoking.
haha... well, parlia is stressful.
parlia is not easy.
it's like you're taking up law.
very technical and very intricate. but i loooooove it. hahaha...

i dont have anything more to say right now.
im not leaving any evidence here in this blog. haha.

XOXO

doctrines and laws

2008-11-14T22:39:00.002+08:00

tiring day...
parlia training at school. it was FUN. haha...
very exhausting... energy draining, really... but the important thing is that we had fun.
potential parliamentarians from the 3rd year and 2nd year were asked to observe our training so that they would have some idea to what parlia is all about.

"...we all have an invisible sign hanging on our necks saying 'i want attention'..."
i just recalled this quote.
i mean, yeah, it's so true.
recognition is humanity's doggy-treat.
we all crave attention.
in maslow's hierarchy of needs, self-esteem is just a step shy from self-actualization...

im so loving parliaaaaaaaa........
i know it's boring to read parlia and parlia and parlia every single day in my blog.
well, it is my blog after all. i am entitled to the freedom bestowed upon me by the constitution to express whatever i want to express provided that i dont violate any other person's right.
and im really loving parlia. the team is great. the training may be strenuous but it's fun. teammates are cool. trainer is strict and amazing.
i will miss the NCR team after the competition... i mean, the chance that the entire team will meet again is quite slim. we are all from different divisions. from NCR, yes. but NCR is not that small that we'll cross each other's paths from time to time.
i will miss the hardcore training. we've been humiliated... lambasted... our egos have been bashed over and over... we've been pushed (and shoved) to our limits... but it's been fun.
oh, i will miss all the days of being excused from the classes.
ive been the ghost student for so long... coming to school only to find out that you'll be going away again. haha...
the NCR team is vying for the top slot in the national competition.
but like sir manuel told us... at the end of the day, winning is not the most important thing.
according to him, we just have to show the national crowd what the standard is.

tomorrow i have training.
again.
7:15 i have to leave. im gonna be able to go back home at around 8pm...
haha... saturday classes. well, this class is cool.

late regrets and late papers

2008-11-13T20:59:00.002+08:00

damned tired...
the journmates have just left. im actually feeling a bit guilty for the fact that i made them walk about half a kilometer. (im not efficient in assuming distances. let's just say that it was about half a kilometer)
but, it's just a bit of guilt. i didnt think that it was that far...
i still dont think that it is far. haha!
anyway, today was another of our major cramming modes in journalism.
the owner of the printing press gave us a deadline.
TODAY.
so, well, basically, we had to rush the paper...
the lack of photos counterweighed our already-done articles...
hmm... and the cause of the blame would be... uh, i'd rather keep quiet about that. lol.

GO ALMEDA!!!!
it was a sight to behold when the entire class joined hands to gather whatever recyclable trash was in sight. imagine, people have brought bikes, tvs, monitors, fans, even WASHING MACHINES!!
we've had no classes for almost the entire day...
what a lucky break! for me, that is.
i mean, they were teasing me about the appearance of a blue moon tonight since i was at school! a wondrous feat, if you might ask anyone...
then, imagine the coincidence that we've had no classes during this so-called once in a blue moon day. haha...
so, tomorrow, i wont be at school again. we're going to have our training in parlia. as usual. well, it's fun.
and although it may seem that parlia is my new school, i can undoubtedly say that i love parlia. im not saying that i dont love school.
it's just that school is multifaceted. it has facets that i dont like.
parlia, on the other hand, is everything that i like. (except for the recitation torture and the brain-leaking exams)

someone asked me, "if ever you can have an elective of either debate or short story writing, which will you choose?"
hmm... debate or short story writing?
crap. that was difficult.
it was like my journmates' question for me when we thought that parlia and RSSPC schedules would clash...
i wouldnt want to choose. i would want both. but their question clearly stated that i cant have both.
oral communication or written communication??
now, im really thinking if i committed a huge mistake when i wrote "chemical engineering" in my college admission papers.
chemistry is fun. i can do chem.
but, the word engineering is quite synonymous to the word math...
and, admittedly, math can be my weakest point...
and if i would take up a course with such a high possibility of encountering my weakest point, then it would be very risky...
now im thinking, maybe i ought to change my course...
haha.. im not in college yet but im thinking of it.
it is my future anyways... i ought to think of it.

im tired. not dead tired though since that is yet to come (i know that it will come)
it just feels as if im doing more than what i ought to do.
in parlia, one of my favorite starting premises was "dont bite what you cant chew"
im biting and biting... not even chewing in the process... swallowing and biting and swallowing and biting.. almost suffocating in the act of swallowing without chewing.
haha... great.

too late.
this is what some people ought to know.
there are things that you cant just compensate for.
one cannot hit the undo button.
there is no delete in real life.
there are circumstances when there is nothing more to do but to accept the fact that you failed to realize your mistakes when you could have fixed them.
you could have fixed them but you refrained from doing so.
then, at the end of the day, you would come to the realization that you could have done something.
but, reality bites.
and it bites hard.
too late...

waking the dormant passion

2008-11-11T18:09:00.003+08:00

im so loving parlia.
every lesson that i missed, every lesson that i will miss, and every lesson that i would have to catch up... it's all worth it.
im not saying that parlia is more important to me than academics.
i dont rank them.
they're of different divisions and, therefore, would not be subsidiary to each other.
it's like a court CANNOT exert its jurisdiction on a court with the same jurisdiction.
im just loving parlia. if i could have it as a subject, i would want to take it.
it's also starting to perk up my supposedly already dormant passion for law.

and lo and behold! our trainer, the lawyer, complimented my debate skills!!!!!!
that was just plain awesome.
imagine a lawyer, a good parliamentarian himself, complimenting your arguments and your debate skills! that was a definite reason to celebrate. =D

we had a mock debate on the RH Bill. yesterday we did the same thing but this time i was in the affirmative side.
it was great since we had to work as a team. no one must monopolize the discussion. everyone must speak.
and we had a crash course in debate.
that was the most interesting part in today's training.
debate is not about showing how intelligent you are.
debate is all about elucidating the truth and influencing the actions of others.
it's not all about the substance.
it's not all about the delivery.
it's not all about the poise and stance.
it's about the combination of all that so that your argument would render your opponent's argument null and would enforce the standpoint of your panel.

spontaneous thinking.
i was really inventing new quotes today to serve as my "piercing" one-liner opening statements.
these are some of the quotes that i've invented:
~ a building that is halfway done is a building that is halfway to destruction
~ a cake that is half-baked is not edible
~ a well without water is a well with no purpose
~ a castle built on sand is a castle built on failure
~ do not bite what you can't chew (i didnt invent this one. i've read it before then it just popped in my mind)
hahaha...
well, im one of the members of the minority. during debate, the minority's standpoint must always be against the majority's proposal.
we just have to dig for disadvantages regarding the proposal.
basically, we just have to be pessimistic.
say, the proposal is to establish bakery for the community.
we could just say that we have no adequate funds...
no adequate training...
it's a waste of time...
there are other activities on which the funds could be allocated...
blah blah blah...
BUT we cant repeat someone else's argument.
if mine would be about the lack of funds then the next minority member must argue about something else.

this morning, we went to the regional office in quezon city to give a demonstration to the regional directress.
im loving proceedings.
it's tiresome and stressful but it's fun. and that is what's important.
you have to love what you're doing for you to be able to give your best effort in it.

how about if i take up law???

random thought.
hahaha... that random thought has been dormant for almost 3 years.
the philippine constitution seems to be boring, right?
well, that was what i thought.
in fact, IT IS boring, that is if you just read it in its entirety.
but if you would be in a class and your teacher's method of teaching is very good, it is not boring at all.
it tickles the mind...
a combination of memorization and analysis. cool.

im feeling really satisfied right now. i can just curl up and sleep. lol.

anyway, i hope that my classmates would still recognize me when i go back to school in 2 weeks. LOL.

a crappy entry

2008-11-09T15:38:00.002+08:00

relentless bombardment.
two words that can describe what ive been going through for the past few weeks...

just came home.
it's sunday and i went to school. i know you're thinking along the lines of "what the..." and all that... and yes, ive been thinking of that too. but what can i do? i just cant set aside my responsibilities just because my tasks are starting to pile up and my head is beginning to hurt.

after parlia, hardcore extracurricular activities are not to be entertained.

i still have to wait until my filipino groupmates finally send their powerpoint presentations to me.
am still working on my part for the eco project.
still have to study the philippine constitution for tomorrow's parlia training... oh, and not to forget about the parlia procedures that i have to memorize...
hmm... how could i train for the upcoming RSSPC if im going to be training for parlia?? i was told that the training would be this wednesday, thursday, friday...
craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap.
im just griping on and on, i know. well, what can i do? blogs exist for this particular reason anyway. i just dont have the luxury to throw plates... or to scream at the top of my lungs... or to take a break...
one day i reckon that my brain's just going to shut down without any warning with all these crap flashing on and off in my head...
i havent mastered the art of cramming just yet.
and im going to face a major cramming session after all these extracurricular stuff.

till here. have to work.

this is one crappy entry, i know.

insanity of the lunatic

2008-11-08T19:29:00.003+08:00

just got home from the parlia training.
rizal highschool is ENORMOUS! im jealooooous...
went home alone. (managed not to get lost! yay!)
actually, i was supposed to be there by 9 in the morning to take an exam (another of those sort-of-bar-exam) but my hyperacidity came into the scene and racked my composure bigtime... so, well, what could i do but stay at home.
i phoned mam lacson and explained to her about the seemingly extreme contraction of my stomach muscles... then i asked her to tell sir manuel about that. and then i slept...
around 11:30 i woke up to find out that the assault of acids in my stomach has finally receded. i took a bath, got dressed, and then i phoned mam lacson that im already fine.
and off we went...

so, how was the training...
it would be extremely redundant to say that it was rigorous.
oh, and on monday we are going to tackle about the philippine constitution...
it's as if im taking up an additional class of political science/parliamentary law.
the procedures are complicated, the technicalities are intricate...
my arguments have to be compelling. (crap. i remembered my argument during our 2nd proceeding last thursday. that was a major crap.)

what else is there to say?
im not going to be in any class for the next two weeks.
and that means a major cramming mode after.

im really getting so damned pissed off with someone right now.
he's supposed to support me in whatever endeavors i may have... he's supposed to enlighten me... he's supposed to give a damn...
well, he's not.
i actually dont care. ive been used to it. people may tell me that the only reason for his seemingly indifferent attitude is that he is not expressive by nature.
i dont give a damn.
what im getting so ticked off at this moment is that it's as if my endeavors are my faults!!
and that is downright crappy.
isnt he supposed to be proud of me?
i mean, ive reached far and wide... ive been to places where not just everyone can go... ive done things that, i believe, should make him proud of me...
apparently, he is not.
whatever.
all he knows is to blame, blame, blame...
complain, complain, complain...
curse, curse, curse...
well, im going to give him a piece of my mind. not now. maybe sometimes in the near future.
i want to tell him that not everything in this world revolves around him and his ideas.
i want to tell him that not everything that he wants will be obtained.
he is not the center of the universe, mind you.
i am the captain of my ship and no one can command me to steer it the other way around.
someone can try but im not going to acquiesce.
i want to tell him that anger is a huge fire, blazing in its entirety, ready to engulf one's soul...
hah! i could tell him that and wait for him to get angry. lol.
he thinks he can get away with his chinese swearwords and all that.
hah! you wish!
i cant even see anything else that can make me like you. (except for the fact that my financial needs are taken care of)
well, is that all? financial needs? then period, end of story?
would that be all?
that baritone voice is annoying and im sure that you are not aware of that.
and then you're asking me why i go home late.
except for the fact that im doing things that ought to make one's parent proud, (hah!) i prefer to be someplace else than be in close proximity with you.

im griping. i feel contemptuous. that's for real.
an entry about my dissent directed to a particular person is not unheard of in this blog.
but that sort of entry is occasional.
i was just frustrated, scornful... hateful...
this is insane.

to lighten things up, the ALMEDA TIMES is worth the trouble.
we ought to make one. really make one, i mean.
james silao is an expert in tabloid writing.
angelo romasanta is a professional in... uh... double entendres and innuendos.
the banner headline of the newsletter MUST change, though, on the ground of proper decorum and competent news topics.

((it's not really my blogging style to post images in every entry. when deemed appropriate, an image would be posted...))

winter solace much?

2008-11-06T21:54:00.003+08:00

frozen. desolate. taciturn.
naaa... not feeling anything remotely close to those words above. i just liked this image...
besides, angelo was commenting on the lack of images of my blog.
well then, here you go!

the one who 'photoshopped' this image was great. very talented indeed.
im impressed. really.

im thinking of something to write which would amplify and carry out in detail the theme of "winter solace" as stated in the lower portion of the image.
let us try to incorporate the theme to whatever im going to post. hmm...

winter.
i'd say that the word is a direct opposition to whatever training that we've had today.
you're heard of rigorous training. i've heard of rigorous training. all that crap about preparing for the upcoming battle...
well, parlia training with our mr. lawyer seems to surpass the definition of "rigorous"
winter?
maybe we've been shuddering in fright at today's training, yes...
or maybe i could relate it to my seemingly desolate FROZEN chair in the classroom... (i've been gone for so long... and i would still be gone for a longer time...)

naaa... let's cut it out. this blog entry would have no concurrent theme.

how was the parlia training???????
EXCEEDINGLY EXTREME.
again, the now seemingly normal public humiliation... coupled with brain-bashing requirement for spontaneous debate premises and various technical parliamentary procedures.
now, you say: the philippine government is not even a parliament.
yeah, yeah, we know.
but parlia is used throughout the world. in the most formal of assemblies, in the widest of gatherings, in the highest forms of government structures...
and parlia is fun.
stressful and technical and difficult and requires focus focus focus BUT it's just fun.
interesting, so as to say.
maybe it has something to do with our interesting trainer. maybe it has something to do with the way he teaches.
i tell you, he imposes a totalitarian government during our trainings.
he is extremely strict. a "spawn of hell". or so his former student had said.
but he teaches extremely well. the teaching style is definitely efficient.
we learn, and we learn heaps.
im starting to be interested in studying law... haha...
he told us that during one time when he was a freshman Law student in UPD, his professor threw a laptop at him when he failed to submit 27 cases for their homework.
i think he's trying to impose the same thing to us right now.
dont get me wrong. im saying again and again that he is definitely good.
he told us that he's simply pushing us to our limits so that we could operate at our very best.
according to him, he would rather kill us here, right now, than let us be killed by the national crowd in the competition.
we actually agree with him. it's better to be humiliated in front of your teammates and trainer than be humiliated in front of the entire nation.
and he doesnt want us to be humiliated. he doesnt even let the school trainers to come with us in the trainings. the teachers who come with the students stay in some other place. the only ones who can witness the entire training are, of course, the NCR team and our dear trainer.

i'll be gone for two entire weeks.
next week would be alloted for the RIGOROUS TRAINING.
then the week after that would be the national parliamentary competition.
good luck to us.
we've been told that the competition would last from 8am to 11pm... (actually, they told us that it can last until 1 in the morning)
energy reserves are of high importance.
knowledge of the procedure is of greatest value.
teamwork is crucial.
mind spontaneity is significant.

btw, YJAM SPELLERS GOOD LUCK TO YOU GUYS!!!
bring home the bacon... just like last year!! go go go go go!

what else is there to say?
oh, barack obama won! (it was apparent. haha.)
go democrats!! save the teetering "greatest nation in the planet" from its foreboding downfall...
rosie was right on; Bush screwed US bigtime. (see rosie's blog for a more detailed account on CNN's presidential election news)

can i have a break? just for a day?

hardcore warm-up

2008-11-04T21:48:00.002+08:00

STRESS.
A DAY OF INTIMIDATION. OF PUBLIC HUMILIATION. OF INTERNAL CONFLICTS. OF BRAIN DAMAGE. OF TECHNICAL MANIPULATION. OF HARDCORE MEMORIZATION. OF ANNOYING DILEMMAS.

again, AGAIN, i wasnt at school FOR THE ENTIRE DAY.
craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap.
it's as if the school is just one of my "electives" and my real class is the Great Extra Curricular Subject.
definite craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap.

well, i dont regret being part of the NCR Parliamentary team. i mean, parlia is fun. parlia is great. parlia is interesting and downright exciting. parlia is my passion.
but im not denying the fact that parlia is extremely stressful.
it's like we have a class outside the school.

our trainer was VERY STRICT. he is going to humiliate you, to bash your confidence to fragments, to rip your ego to shreds, to demean your entire being...
and we have to memorize law and parliamentary books VERBATIM.
gawd.
it was downright stressful. i cant even begin to describe what happened today. just imagine a lawyer who have been training parliamentary teams for two consecutive years.
then imagine a group of 13 students, all trying so hard not to be disgraced in front of everyone. (and definitely failing to do so)
well, it was fun... in a way.
i mean, we've learned something more. heaps more, actually. he is a great teacher. he is strict and he exercises a totalitarian government (his words, mind you) but he is doing so because he wants the NCR team to win.
hardcore training. and what we did today was the warm-up. that was what he said.
uh-huh. we've got to prepare for the next trainings to come.
and, uh, we have assignments actually. 5 questions.
5 really difficult questions in which you have to know not only the parliamentary procedures but also the philippine constitution for you to be able to answer.
and, the answer to eac question must be typewritten in a short bond paper.
font arial size 10 spacing 1.5
IMAGINE THAT!!!
i recall something that mico said way, way back...
that joining the national parliamentary procedure was surprisingly effortless...
NAH!
effortless, you say??
the so-called warm-up that we've had today was a literal 8-hour recitation/presentation/brain-squeeze activity
no one was exempted from mr. manuel's denigration.
the thing i said about parlia requiring only wit, parlia procedure and technical knowledge, and debate abilities...
one thing was missing.
COURAGE.
mr. manuel hates people who dont have a stand in an issue.
he told us to make a stand or go home. according to him, in real life, in the real world, one just cant go around while staying in the middle of everything. one must have his own standpoint.
his stance.

what im complaining about is that im going to miss HEAPS OF CLASSES again and again and again...
i mean, they were talking about having an everyday training next week.
wth...
what would happen to my academic grades then?
it would plummet down down down... without a doubt.
if that everyday training would be approved by general consent, then i would be gone for 2 weeks!!!
a week of training and a week in baguio for the contest itself.
wth.......................................................................
how would i be able to catch up with everything that ive missed?!?
ive been missing toooooooooooo much of the lessons... and toooooooooooo much of what's happening in the classroom.... and tooooooooooo much of the social crap... and toooooooooooooooooooooooooo much of rest...

can i just stop time for a while to take a breather??

parliamentary homework number 1:
is the motion to appeal applicable to the situation (given situation... complicated. i wont type it here)

parlia homework #2:
full and free debate is allowed vs call for the previous question...
substance vs procedure...
why is motion to call for the previous question prevalent over the fundamental principle of full and free debate??

parlia hw #3:
why is the bylaw valid??
(given situation... long and intricate and complex and... yeah, you get the idea)

parlia hw#4:
memorize page 106

parlia hw #5:
what are the motions to which page 106 applies??

uh-huh.
this is life....

if only i know how to apply the singularity rule in my own life...
i wouldnt be tackling two or more stuff at a time.

can i just suspend the rules for the academic rationale?

im asking again..
CAN I JUST STOP THE TIME FOR A WHILE??

battle against the torment

2008-11-03T19:48:00.002+08:00

oooookay...
DEFINITE BRAIN-DRAINING DAY!!
Chemistry was the first to assault, bombarding us with chemical formulas and concepts that left us stumped.
We haven't gotten over it yet when Mapeh came into the scene, attacking us with its ludicrous montage of terminologies and dates and names and all that.
Just a few minutes after the exhausting battle with Mapeh, here came Research to further damage our heads with its jargon.
And, to afflict the nastiest, foulest, vilest laceration to our already mutilated cerebral tissues, may we welcome the dearest CALCULUS!!

craaaaaap.
it took us, like, 2 hours to answer that exam.
and we're not even sure if we're going to get a good score.
damn this brain. blacking out during the crucial moment.
short-circuiting when i needed a good synaptic flow.

...and to add insult to injury, economics periodical exam results was given...
down, down, down...
that would be the "movement of my grades".
definite craaaaaaaap.

ooooh. and, just like what my mom told me, the supposed boycott was all in vain...
so, well, i texted her to bring me tin cans.
tsk tsk... boycott, huh?
oh, and aura cried. i think. someone told me, i believe so. i dont know for sure but i reckon it was about the tin cans and all that. i dont know for sure since i wasnt in the class this entire day...
(what's new with that??)
and im not going to be in the class tomorrow.
(...and, uh, what's NEW with that???)
craaaap. i dont want to be excused anymore. it's really so hard to catch up with missed lessons and all that. one day my learning was smooth and i was able to comprehend the whatnots that they were talking about. then i was excused. and then i cant catch up anymore...
and then the whole world comes crashing down, burying me deep in its vile heart...
and then im suffocating...
and i cant breathe anymore (and im not talking about the severe cold that i caught along the way)
and everything seems so dark and foreboding...

from the darkness of the four exams assaulting our fragile minds, Spelling came in to the rescue!!
it was fun.
we've learned new words! haha...
mico and i got a total of 46. we're got the same score. haha. look at that rosie. we've got the same score. i wonder why... haha.
aj rayo got 43. but since he was the spelling pro (from last year), we better give him the spotlight.
after all, one can't stay beneath the spotlight for so long... or one could go blind.

mind games... mind games...
looking for mind games in the internet..
i ought to be preparing for tomorrow's recitation in parliamentary procedure but im still lazy as ever..
gotta study later.
or rather, MIGHT study later. lol.

what's happening to my life?
it's getting more complicated... and annoying... and tricky... and disappointing... and fun... and bizarre... and downright indescribable.
i better try to fix it before the tiny gash turns into an irreparable gaping chasm.
problem is: when should i start? what should i do? how should i do what im supposed to do?
and most importantly: do i have enough energy left to do it?

futility at its finest

2008-11-02T16:25:00.002+08:00

i cant breathe...
emo much? naaa... i just caught a bad cold.
it's really hard when you're trying to ram heaps and heaps of seemingly useless data in your head in a matter of hours...
it's like swimming against a 25600mph current...
FUTILE.
you'll just get exhausted. and you'll get nowhere.
maybe you'll get to the place where people go when they die...
hah!

perfecting the art of cramming...
this has been a long-running maxim of my former batchmates...
a maxim that helped us go through it all.
we have been trying to perfect the art of cramming.
the thing is that NOTHING IS PERFECT.
cramming cannot be perfected.
cramming... cramming... cramming...
i think im losing my mind.

im supposed to be studying... supposed to be shoving various information in my head... supposed to be finishing the works that i still have to do...
well. the operative word is: SUPPOSED.

i suddenly remembered something i've read somewhere...
"Don't take life so seriously. You'll never get out of it alive"
haha... point well taken, though.

why am i blogging?? i ought to be studying.. ought to be doing something, uh, more productive?

is it possible for the brain to just sizzle and blow up?

man... this is tiring. i've been doing the same thing for four years! thank god i had a year of vacation...

a life without bounds, a life with no involvement in academic affairs, a life of just pure adventure...
is that possible???

day of the dead

2008-11-01T18:12:00.003+08:00

as the Day of the Dead comes to its temporary end and Death waves its skeletal phalanges to whoever is willing to look, some of the denizens of the world are having their hearts tainted with an inky darkness...

lalala...
i dont know what i just wrote. lol.
calculus project status: almost almost done...
gah! it's so f***ing tedious!!
i havent studied anything yet...
i rang up joyce and asked her to teach me the IVT and IZT stuff (calculus crap). well, she did.
THANKS A LOT JOYCE!! I OWE YOU ONE.

...an inky darkness threatening to shroud their entire existence, almost to the point of annihilation...

crap. the three-day sembreak is almost over.
GAH!
it seems as if "rest" and "semestral break" just dont go together.
freaking oxymoron.

...annihilation of their souls - of their spirits - as the darkness sweeps in, ready to bring forth a cataclysmic beginning of oblivion...

i had a dream. for the life of me, i just cant recall what it's all about. i woke up and i just knew that i had dreamed something. one word kept on nagging me, though...
psychedelic.
i dont have any idea why.
maybe i had a dream about psychedelic stuff??
or maybe that word was prominent in my dream??
or maybe it has something to do with the effects of dope?? (not that im taking any, mind you)
i would not know.

...of oblivion, of emptiness, of void... and the inky darkness comes closer... its tendril-like fingers reaching for the tiny beating heart...

today. it's our eco teacher's birthday.
happy birthday.
happy halloween...

...and the denizens of the world moved about, unaware of the sable fingers grasping, grasping their palpitating hearts... unaware of the inky stain forming on its surface, diffusing deeper into the tiniest veins...
...and Death waves its skeletal phalanges to whoever is willing to look...

healthy retrogression

2008-10-30T22:00:00.002+08:00

sembreak. finally. (if you can call a three-day non-schooling schedule a sembreak, that is)

schoolpaper status:
"article-wise", mostly done... overall? we're halfway done. still have to make revisions... still have to proofread the drafts... still have to let sir zape check the layout... printing press dilemma... deadline crisis... missing people... uh-huh.

parliamentary status:
havent studied anything yet. hoping against hope that our trainor (the lawyer) wont embarrass me.. or rather, wont find anything that would allow him to embarrass me.. lol.

almeda 08-09 chorale status:
altooooo... altooooo... altooooo...
thought alto was easier than soprano.
thought wrong. haha.
i just dont have the talent in singing... lalala... cant carry a tune THAT LONG. lol. haha.

today, we practiced for the christmas concert.
all is calm... all is bright...
two lines that took us for about, like, an hour to learn...
roung yon VIRgin.. mother and child...
lalalala... the alto people have a different tune. lalala...
tiring... but, well, it was fun.

mam gripo's five-year-old daughter visited (or rather, stormed) the journ room.
and another roleplay began...
she was cute. and naughty. and wild. and she's got an attitude to boot.
paolo was the first victim. he was supposed to be killed by mico by slamming a wood (provided by alisa) on his head. then, paolo was the "ghost"
we were supposed to stay away from him because he was the GHOST.
alisa (spell check??) was hitting him with a ruler. COOL.
mico was the next victim.
he was the "ugly diamond"... haha.
marc was the last. at first, alisa wouldnt want to bother him or anything. then, we found out why...
turns out that marc was to be alisa's "long-term enemy"
lol.
it was very funny. paolo, marc and mico were, like, regressing!! paolo was trying to grab the ruler that alisa was using to hit him... marc used another chalboard eraser as his weapon against alisa's TWO CHALKBOARD ERASERS... mico stuck his tongue out at the little kid after she told him that he was ugly. LOL.
it was very VERY funny.
well, i was actually her first victim.
i was in the office, using the telephone... then she began to interview me... various questions that made me laugh out loud WHILE USING THE TELEPHONE.
then, she followed me to the journ room.
and the BABYSITTERS CLUB was born.

calculus project status:
zero. nada. nil.
have to work on it sooner!! craaaaaaap.

cmshs website status:
almost almost done.
more to go. lol.

anyway, have to go. im sleepy. tired... i have to finish reading AMERICAN GODS by NEIL GAIMAN...

almedation 07-08
greet mam tirones. it's her birthday tomorrow. it's your senior year's mom's birthday tomorrow.
and... uh... when are we going to have any reunion or something? i havent seen you for AGES!!!

sometimes, there are questions that just cannot be answered.

till here.
chau!

la vamos a matar algun dia...

2008-10-27T20:07:00.002+08:00

la quiero matar a esta pelotuda de mierda.
es re fea. no solamente su cara si no su ser misma.
la quiero matar ya. ayudame alguien?

lol. i reckon no one will be able to understand what i just wrote. well, not everyone's supposed to know what it means after all.
if someone can understand that, HANDS DOWN...

bitterness is like cancer... it eats upon the host.
but anger is like fire... it burns it all clean.
- maya angelou

physics periodical exam was kinda cool.
i mean, ESSAY!!!!
that was COOL.
and we were asked to make an invention... haha. i just sorta not noticed the word "feasible" when i read the instructions... lol.
it was a bit hard though since it has been like 2 weeks when i last entered our physics class.
but, all in all, it was sorta cool. i mean, no computations and crap. just application and analysis.

i envy paranoids; they actually feel that people pay attention to them

economics exam was... uh... depressing.

graph this, graph that.

why the hell should i care about other people's supposed salary??

haha. i didnt know what to do. basically, im not expecting anything from the result of my exam. that was a gamble on my part.

hopefully, i would be able to get more than 50%...

hopefully. *crossing my fingers*

small people never learn how to be indifferent. they either envy or pity.

i told my ma that i'll be back home at around 3...

nice daughter that i am, i came home at 7:30. HAHA.

well, got an excuse though! we went with mam frias to this printing press. and lo and behold! we were able to finally see james' place.

ate pizza, fudgee.

drank coke, fit 'n right.

watched sakurano, watched (and answered) family feud...

cool.

two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and im not sure about the universe

- albert einstein

looking and staring and scanning and seeing and wondering...

both sides of the story.

not just the side of the hunter.

but also the side of the lion.

not just the grinning face of the moon.

but also the darker visage it hides behind.

i am still at lost.

at lost and wondering and downright annoyed.

well, what is so bad with being misunderstood anyway?

socrates. aristotle. luther. copernicus. and every other great soul that ever took flesh. they were blatantly threatened. deliberately oppressed. but they were never intimidated, werent they?

great spirits have always encountered violent oppositions from mediocre minds

- albert einstein

the great news editor is so fond of anarchy.

i think he's rubbing it off on me.

FREEDOM OF SPEECH! OF EXPRESSION!

martial law is not implemented in this nation.

martial law is over.

i so get your point.

what else is there to say?

heaps and heaps and HEAPS to do.

the schoolpaper... *still working on it*

the campus website...

projects and quizzes and activities and all those crap that we have to catch up since it has been like 2 weeks since we've last entered a proper class...

the national competition in parliamentary procedures...

the regional secondary schools press conference...

craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap.

btw, i was telling myself over and over that the nationals in parlia and the RSSPC JUST CANNOT CLASH!!

they just did.

crap.

we're going to baguio for parlia on november 23 to 27...

then, AND THEN... i found out that RSSPC is on november 25!!

wtf,,,

im crossing my fingers AGAIN. i dont want to just give up RSSPC... writing is my passion. im not gonna give up parlia either! public speaking is also close to my heart... and parlia is one of the things that ive been missing since then!

uh-huh.

i recall mam oben telling me that the gods are smiling down on me...

well, let them smile down on me again.

im not an atheist after all. im an agnostic. VERY DIFFERENT from each other.

an atheist does not believe that god exists.

an agnostic is just someone who believes that it is impossible to understand everything. basically, an agnostic is someone who believes that it is improbable to prove or disprove god's existence.

well, i believe that a Supreme Being exists.

that im sure of.

this world, this universe... everything... it's just plain unlikely that it all came together without some sort of divine intervention...

coincidence? i dont think so.

something. someone. whatever. it must start from somewhere.

and, i just know deep inside that a Supreme Being exists.

im not denying that or anything.

i just dont agree with the catholic doctrine. that's all.

well, im sleepy.. but cant sleep just yet.

gotta finish my journ project!! yay!

brain leak

2008-10-25T19:14:00.002+08:00

busy busy day.
left home at 8am... went back home at 7:30pm...
where have i gone??
haha... mico and i had this so-called exam for parliamentary...
it was THE 6-HOUR LONG EXAM.
bar exam!!! whoa whoa....
you know how many people use the expression NOSEBLEED??
you know how we created the phrase BRAIN LEAK??
well, we were all using it so lightly...
the exam that we had today.. that was the perfect paradigm for ABSOLUTE BRAIN LEAK AND INTERNAL HEMORRHAGE.
it was a twelve-part exam.
seven pages all in all.
and we had 6 hours to answer it.
now, you'll think... WHY 6 HOURS?!!!
yeah. well, the thing was that.. it was THAT difficult.
swear.
it would have been better if the thought flashing in our minds were like "oh. i know this. ive read this somewhere!"
but then NO.
it was more like "oh. oh. *pause* what's this?"
gee...
it was very. very. very. very. very. (you get the idea) DIFFICULT.
well, the maker of that exam is a lawyer. so, maybe, that's why.
but still!! we're just high school students!!
it was... traumatic.
mapeh periodical? chemistry? physics?
no match.
at least you have some idea with those subjects.
parlia exam??
saying that it was hard would be the understatement of the century.
and im not actually exaggerating.
good luck with us.
well, anyway, mico, mam lacson and i went to rockwell.
mam lacson is cool. fun to talk to. we were talking about relationships, hearsays, scandals, rumors, gossips, teenagers, and all those crap.
it was fun.
well, this entry would have to be quite short for now as i have to finish my TLE notes. not to mention that i have to study for the periodical exams that i would take this coming monday.
tsk. no sembreaks for me.
there's parlia... RSSPC... schoolpaper... christmas concert...
btw, i pray to the sweetest gods of the heavens, earths, and the underworld that the RSSPC and the parlia national would not clash.
THE SCHEDULES CANT CLASH.
im not going to be able to pick one. i want both. greedy as it may sound.

anyway, till later. or tomorrow. or whenever i find something worth posting. other than what's happening in my life... hahaha...