| Flatter the sea but stand on earth |

wet filipino presentation

Thursday, July 31, 2008

filipino presentation?
it was GREAT.
well, we all ended up wet and exhausted...
it was pouring when we presented the interpretative dance. and well, mandsci's stage (even though it's covered) can get quite 'flooded'. the thing is that our group's dance included lying-on-the-floor and rolling-sliding steps.
that was why we ended up all wet.
we were like floor mops. but then, damn, it was really amazing though.

rose minnie and vikki came to visit meeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i always have visitors! cool.
just like in a prison. lol.
yesterday, mitzy, edz, and precious came!
damn. im so loved.
lol.

why is it that whenever i tell them that i want to go to college already, they tell me not to rush it and just enjoy my highschool life?
i mean, they tell me that when im in college already, im gonna miss highschool.
i know that!
but still, i want to go to college right now.
i just want something new. im starting to dislike routine. must have something to do with the almost-year-long exchange program in argentina.
speaking of exchang programs, they tell mico that he's the 'cancer of the society' and crap like that. that he's too liberated now. that america did something to him.
naaa... it's not like that, guys.
the thing is that, a total cultural immersion will make you see things from a different point of view.
that's all.
and mico's not TOOOOO liberated.
i've met people a hell lot more liberated than mico.
and it's not the country that did 'something'.
the thing is mico and i were under 'cultural exchange programs'
CULTURAL.
the good thing that happened to me was that i didnt only incorporate the culture of argentina but also the cultures of my dear friends from all over the world.
well, for me that's a good thing.
for others, they might say that ive changed.
well, i say yeaaah.... change is inevitable.
you cant not change.
besides, there's always something new to learn.

next friday, mico and i have a contest for filipino. Tagisang Talino.
we were like o_0.....
mico and i, ever since first year, we've always been 'english people'...
we were in the faculty room this afternoon after the filipino presentation. well, we were TRYING to review. the thing was that we CANT recall filipino words.
i mean, try filipino grammar.
pangngalan, pang-uri, pandiwa, pantukoy, pang-ukol, pang-angkop...etc...
crap.
and dont forget the figures of speech.
100, more or less, figures of speech.
imagining that in english might already seem hard.
now, imagine that in filipino.
damn...
we were reviewing by translating the filipino words to english words.
that was pathetic.
we couldn't even remember the word for 'stanza'!!!
that was even more pathetic...
crap.
well, we just have to 'learn' filipino all over again.

havent had journ for quite some time...
im missing it.
i so love journ!!!
paulo's classmates tell him, "hindi ka naman archimedes eh. section journ ka eh!"
yeah.
section journ nga kami!
well, those who enjoy it, i reckon.

till here!

XOXO

10:05 PM
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quotes

Monday, July 28, 2008

» Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.- Ashleigh Brilliant

» It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.- Paul Newman

» I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.- Stephen Bishop

» History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.- Abba Eban

» I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

» He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.- Victor Borge

» I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

» I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.- Clarence Darrow

» If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?- Charles Pierce

» You have delighted us long enough.- Jane Austen

» He has Van Gogh's ear for music.- Billy Wilder

» Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.- Samuel Butler

» I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't like?- Jean Cocteau

» A good listener is usually thinking about something else.- Kin Hubbard

» Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.- Oscar Levant

» Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in memory as the wish to forget it.- Montaigne

» The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually beomes a cat.- Ogden Nash

» We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. - Vince Lombardi

» There are times when I think you're the most beautiful girl in the world, and there are times when I'm sober

» i thought i had lost my mind.... and then i found you... and realised i always had them, until then...

» Don't let your mind wander, Its too little to be let out alone.
Don't be so humble, you are not that great.
Life's a bitch, if it were easy it'd be a slut.

» I wouldn't say you're stupid. You are, but I wouldn't say it.

» I'd call you a tool, but even THEY serve a purpose.

» Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

» Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

» Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

» I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

» Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save."-Will Smith

» At one point in your life you`ll be asking yourself questions when you already know the answer

» Sometimes we put up walls, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to knock them down...

» you'll never see the light if you're in someone elses shadow

» I do not pray for a lighter load, but for a stronger back. -Philip Brookes

» The greatest mistake you can make in this life is to be continually fearing you will make one. -Elbert Hubbard

» Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to.

» 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

» A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

» Those who think they know everything, annoy those of us that do

» I did my homework! I just forgot to write it down.

» A good essay is 10% inspiration, 15% perspiration, and 75% desperation.

» If there is one thing I have learned in life, it's this: maturity is optional.

» Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source.It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.”- Anais Nin

ala akong magawa kaya ngpost nlng ako ng quotes... hehehe

8:44 PM
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journ

Sunday, July 27, 2008

i so love my journalism class. journmates!! lol.
last saturday was nice. and the good thing was that anne, rowane, and carla went to school too!! that was cool.

the only thing that wasnt so nice was that i was able to feel something weird with respect to the staff.
we are divided.
and i dont like that.
but im going to fix that tomorrow. of course. i dont want a divided staff. if there's a feud or something to that extent, dont let it ruin the journ class.
be professional, people.

anyway, i so love having debates!!!
mico and i were the devil's advocates last saturday.
topic?
science vs religion.
sweeeeeeeeeet.
we were talking about genetic engineering with respect to science vs religion. mico and i were trying to contradict whatever the others say. well, we WERE the devil's advocates... lol.

the themes for the different categories are nice, too.
in feature category,, of course GENETIC ENGINEERING [SCIENCE VS RELIGION]
in literary category,, reverse fairy tales... the writers have to make the protagonists look bad and the antagonists look good. check out "After Happily Ever" by gillian roberts. anne has a copy and i read it and it was amazing. it's about cinderella. but reversed. you're going to hate cinderella in this story. lol.

now, im doing my own version of reverse fairy tales. of course, knowing me, this has got to have some sort of morbidity in one way or another. *grin*
i used alice in wonderland, hansel and gretel, the little red riding hood, peter pan...
i liked my work! (haha... that was quite disturbing. i was complimenting myself!)
it's two pages though...
you see, the thing is that maam frias doesnt want long articles. when i gave her my last editorial piece, she said that it was too long...
IT WASNT.
it was a one-page editorial. it wasnt long. if i cut it short, the substance will be compromised...
so, this two-page literary will certainly be labeled as "long"...
uh-huh... but if i cut it short, im going to have to sacrifice lots of things! crap...
mmm, never mind. let the journ adviser decide.

i so love the debate about science and religion.
science without religion is lame;
religion without science is blind.
you rock, mr. einstein!
anyway, till here!

XOXO

6:36 PM
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g'day

Sunday, July 20, 2008

hmm... it was a nice day.
hectic but nice. :D
anne, marjohn, and rommel came by. they were supposed to help me prepare for the UPCAT coz im so being totally nervous right now. not THAT nervous but still, ive got nothing to lose to prepare a little bit, right?
it was fun hanging out with my dearest friends.
well, we basically just hang out. ate pancit, banana cue, anne and i ate donuts, chocolate...
we watched movie trailers... =D
i also showed them videos so that they'll hear the australian and new zealand accents...
and speaking of australia, lawrence rang me up last night!!
i was, again, surprised.
i didnt think that he'd call.
turns out that it was the FRIENDSHIP DAY in argentina...
sweet.
i so miss that australian bloke
we're so different yet so similar. and im not exaggerating on that.
and if ever i really do incorporated some sort of accent ((i still disagree that i do have one)), blame him.
there were only a few people with whom i was talking in english when i was in argentina... and by few i mean to say lawrence and simon. lol.
well, i was talking in english with my german friend beccy but that was rare.
it was always with lawrence and simon. and they sort of (take note: SORT OF) speak with the same weird english... (no offense! lol.)
sooooooooo.............
if ever, just if ever i do really incorporated an accent, which I DONT, you know where i got it.
and if ever that would be the case, i would say that this 'incorporated accent' is not unusual or weird or something like that.
everyone has an accent.
asians have that asian twang.
southern USA people drawl...
northern german people sound harsh and angry...
your accent is just that ----- YOURS.
there are studies that show that young people can incorporate accents fast. but when they reach the age of 20 above, incorporating an accent is almost unlikely.
an accent is something that you get used to. it is something IN YOUR HEAD. you dont fake it. you can but you dont do that because your normal accent will always, always show itself...
AND I REPEAT, I DO NOT HAVE ANY ACCENT WHATSOEVER.
lol.

anyway, gotta go.
poof.
chau!

10:42 PM
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hanging out

Saturday, July 19, 2008

today was nice.
woke up early coz mama, tita prescy, anne, chippy, and i were going to admu to get an application form.
too bad we're going to have to return next saturday.
then, we ate at KFC.
then, chippy and tita prescy got off on araneta while anne, mama, and i went to our house.
around 1:30, anne and i went to mandsci.
the new security guard let us pass by easily. we just told him that it's about our investigatory project.
then, itay marjohn arrived so we went to get him. this time, the security guard told us that we cant enter coz we didnt have any permit.
so, the obvious thing to do was to ring sir patron.
obviously, he went to get us. he told the guard that we're all students in mandsci. (well, that's basically true... he said 'mga estudyante sila dito'... he didnt mention 'WHEN'..)
we just talked, basically. then, around past 3, we went to itay's place. we were just hanging out. it was nice...
i so love those two!! my dear propphi anne and my dear itay marjohn!!!
they're the best...
going to argentina for a year has no drawbacks.
NONE AT ALL.
it's just that i would have loved it more if i could spend my last year in highschool with anne, marjohn, rommel, mitzy, marlon, edz, etc...
but then, life is like this... you get something good, you get something bad in return.
that's the principle of life.
you can gripe about it but you cant do anything to change that.

what else can i say?

oh. simon and lawrence phoned me here!!!
simon rang me up last july 16 for my birthday. it was great. i didnt think he would remember... but he did. and that was great.
lawrence rang me up too. he just did it at around 11AM july 17. meaning i wasnt home... i would have liked to talk to him! he said he thought that i was going to be home... (well, here i dont have the luxury to ditch school even for my birthday.. unlike in argentina. lol.)
i miss those two! my kiwi and my aussie!
((vocabulary: kiwi --- new zealanders call themselves kiwis; aussie --- australians call themselves aussies))
we've just known each other for like 4 months and we became bestfriends... it was great. it was fun to be with them. i so miss them.
LOS QUIERO MUCHO A USTEDES!
someday, we're going to see each other again. and that's a promise.
just remembered something: lawrence googled my name and he found anne's blog. haha... sweet.

well, heaps of work to do. but of course, im still tweaking my schedule so as to be able to:
1. read books (it's hard. when i start reading, i CANT stop.)
2. watch anime (just like #1, when i start, stopping is almost impossible)
3. telebabad (of course... hard, too, since telebabad means at least 3hrs on the phone)
4. sleep (im not getting enough sleep!!!)
5. and others.. (hehehe...)

so, till here.
dont know what else to write...

chau!!

6:57 PM
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numb

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

crappy.
that is what it feels like right now.
i believe in the principle of yin yang and our modified newton's 3rd law...
i know that for every good thing that happens, there will be a bad thing too.
i know that.
but i wasnt expecting it soon...
as of this moment, i have all the urge in the world to just sprawl on my bed with the lights turned off and cry my heart out...
but i wont.
not gonna do that. nuh-uh,,,
im too strong to succumb to that.
but it's stinging... the back of my eyes, i mean...
not gonna cry. not gonna cry. not gonna cry.
i only cry in the inside... where no one can see the tears falling continuously...
damn...
what a fucker this life is.
i miss the old days when i was still a kid and nothing else mattered save for my beloved dolls, the cookies-and-milk snack, and the afternoon nap...
i miss the days when the only time i cry is when my doll broke...
those good old days when screwing up means forgetting to finish the daily glass of milk...
now, screwing up means something entirely different.
screwing up...
damn. how i hate that...
yeah, i've screwed up a hundred times before... but i just realized that as you grow older, 'screw up' changes its meaning...
i feel numb right now.
cant feel a thing.
or should i say, dont want to feel a thing...?
it's like when you face a stranger holding you at gunpoint. you are torn between running for your life and fighting off the stranger. so you just stay frozen...
my head is frozen right now.
i think it's one of my defense mechanisms...
FEELING NUMB.
i just freeze that part of me and i go on with what i should be doing...
it's sort of effective. you temporarily forget.
but then, like what i said, you just TEMPORARILY forget...
maybe that's why when i screw up and i feel like crap, i want to do whatever i can do just to get myself busy...
at least as long as im busy, that part of me worrying and feeling really terrible is frozen...
then, here comes the worse part: the moment i stop to take a breath.
the state of being temporarily busy, the activities that im doing... everything vanishes. and the temporarily-frozen part of me thaws...
and i hurt.
i can handle anger. i can handle fury.
what i cant handle is the feeling of guilt... and the feeling of disappointing someone...
THAT i cant handle.
it hurts me... almost physically.
cant explain but, why do i have to explain? cant justify anything...
taking a deep breath... letting it all out in one long moan...
that felt a bit better...
now, im gonna have to keep myself busy with all the schoolwork and crap. the sensitive-sector of my brain is only half-frozen... have to keep it frozen... at least until i get to my bedroom where i can allow it to thaw safely...

7:15 PM
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college

Thursday, July 10, 2008

sooo...
i dunno.
I WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE RIGHT NOW!!!
((all caps and boldfont... look just how i want that badly...))
dunno. i envy my batchmates.. well, former batchmates (i was telling them that they left me when in fact i was the one who left them. i just dont like to admit that. lol.)
i envy them when they visit me at school wearing civilian clothes and all that crap... i want to go to college!! i know they keep on telling me not to rush it and to savor every moment in highschool and that college is not better than highschool and that highschool is easier and that when im already in college im gonna wish that im in highschool again...
all that crap...
im rushing highschool coz I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN COLLEGE ALREADY.
savor highschool?? hey, im rushing it...
college is NOT SUPPOSED to be better than highschool. it is NOT EASIER either. it is not supposed to be.
and i dont care if im gonna wish that im back in highschool when im in college...
i want to go to college.

batch 07-08, would you please come back to cmshs and spend the last highschool year with me????
not that i hate my new batch... (hate is a strong word.)
i dont hate them.
i just so totally and absolutely miss my batchmates...
we've been together for 3 consecutive years!!!!
well, i've known that i wont be going to graduate with them when i accepted the exchange program...
im not regretting the decision.
just that, i want my batchmates back... i miss the cramming sessions (which was everyday, mind you)
i dunno, mandsci seems sort of boring to me now... maybe it has something to do with my wild lifestyle back there in argentina... or maybe it has something to with my extreme eagerness to finish highschool already... im not sure. maybe both. maybe neither of the two. i cant say.

im missing my school-tomorrow-never-mind-though-im-not-going-anyway life back there in argentina...
that was amazing!!
imagine, i had 10 months of not doing anything related to acads...
that was the greatest year ever!!!
it was also the fastest...
crap.
why is it that when you enjoy something, time flies...??
sort of a rule of life... damn.

changing topic, why is it that everyone tells me that i have an accent????
I DONT HAVE ANY FREAKING ACCENT.
well, everyone's telling me that i do have an accent... could it be that everyone's hearing is just so screwed up???
lol.
naaa... i cant hear any accent when im talking. they tell me that my letter R's are missing...
naaa... not true. i dont think so.
well, maybe. i dunno. i cant hear any accent. well, the thing is that everyone's got an accent.
it could be that i incorporated my two bestfriends' accents.. simon of Nz and lawrence of australia...
probably.
i was with them every single day!! so maybe i got the so-called accent from them. (i still dont think that i have an accent)
ask my journalism classmates. they so love teasing me about the 'accent' crap. i dont care though. they do it for fun. but i still beg to differ. i dont have any accent.
whatever they say.
lol.

hmmm... what else??
im turning 17 in a few days...

btw, i just found out that the term 'friends with benefits' is not common here in the philippines...
well, probably it's just not common in asia...
oh c'mon, asia, get a grip! learn more... crap.

i miss spanish!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i want to meet someone who speaks spanish....
im missing it!!!!!!

what else???

i want to go to college...
lol.
i keep on repeating that over and over...
maybe i should just get on with highschool so that time will pass quickly...
right?
that would be the best thing to do...

so, till here.

gotta sleep.

i havent had enough sleep back there in argentina. the nightlife is just so fueled that you're not going to risk sleeping through it...
i dont think im going to have enough sleep here either...
mandsci rings a bell???

anyway, till here. really. this time it's for real.

chauchau!!

XOXO

((gonna write this in argentine spanish so that no one can understand))

ya quiero volver a tucuman. en serio. ya extraño a mi querida provincia... y a mis queridos amigos!! no se cuando los voy a poder ver asi que me siento muy triste... lloraba un monton por ellos... no sabia que el cuerpo tiene asi un monton de lagrimas... que barbaridad...

XOXO

10:45 PM
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nothing to say

Sunday, July 6, 2008

it still feels weird to be back in this country...

yesterday, it was propphi bonding day.
she came here last friday too. she was the first person (apart from my family, of course) who saw me during my first day back here.
then, yesterday, she stayed for the night.
sleepover!!!
but the thing was we didnt sleep...
we just basically fooled around. we were lying on my bed the entire night just talking about whatever. i was telling her a year worth of stories so imagine that...
it felt good to be able to share everything to her (well, almost... im not yet done telling everything)
i changed a lot. and she knows that. and she's not judging me or anything.
i thought that she would be, at least, shocked by my drastic change. well, she was sort of shocked. but nothing more.
no violent reactions whatsoever.
i so totally love my propphi!!
she understands me...
there are only three people in this world who knows about my argentine experience in detail.
simon of nz
lawrence of australia
and my dear propphi anne.
well, but then, just like what the 3 of them agree on, i changed for the better.
the kimberly who went to argentina last september 2007 and the kimberly who returned to the philippines,,, they're poles apart...
the old kim is already gone.
vanished.
and she wont be coming back.
but im not actually missing her.
it's not that i dont like the old me. i just like the new me more...
lol.

hmmm....

upcat is approaching...
damn.
this is also a reason why i didnt want to go back here yet!
lol.
but then, i have to go back to the realworld...

i dont have anything more to say at this moment.
except, i want to finish highschool already!!!!!!!!
let's get on to the university, shall we.... please...

10:23 PM
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im back

Saturday, July 5, 2008

im back in the philippines....
it feels so freakingly weird to hear people speaking MY NATIVE LANGUAGE...
the thing is that i prefer to stay in tucuman at this moment.
no responsibilities whatsoever.
just pure fun. fun. fun.
no curfew either.
i can stay out and about all night long and go back home in the morning.
and i cant freaking do that here. CANT DO THAT HERE.
im gonna end up in jail AND/OR end up killed by my own parents....
yeeeaaaah.....

last tuesday, in the terminal in tucuman, i couldnt believe how many friendships ive made...
and i couldnt believe that the human body can produce such a quantity of tears..
it was amazing.
my eyes were hurting after that.
everyone was crying and hugging.
i received heaps of gifts....
i soooo love them...
im missing my two best male friends right now. simon of NZ and lawrence of australia....
i never thought that we would be such good friends...
they placed some stuff in my bag and i only found out about it in the plane...
they gave me a gold necklace... and letters. the letters were tear-jerking... damn those melodramatic guys... lol.
simon gave me his cap that he bought in a dan carter store in NZ... and his shell necklace...
and some other more gifts....
wow... that night in the terminal was really memorable...
but the night before that, that was the best....
i was with both of them all night. we were just fooling around... lying on the bed... talking... tickling each other... basically just hanging out....
i love those two.... and they know that.

feels weird not having them around.

in the bus... sebastian (austria) and i were weeping silently... it was really amazing to know that it is possible to cry for 3 hours straight....

that was like... wow....

anyway, i dont know what to write right now.
i have to reorganize my life.... i left my life and now im here, i have to fix it...
damn......

anyway, till here.

gonna write more....

missing tucuman.... damn..................

XOXO

1:34 PM
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