nothing lasts forever
Monday, April 30, 2007
hmm... yay!!!
as far as i know, this is the first time that the word "POSTPONED" made me this happy,...
sabi sakin interesting news DAW....
yun pala, it's a hell of a wonderfully good news...
nyax...
hahaha...
ayan, hindi na ako mgddrama... yay!!
_________________________________________________________
twenty-nine days left...
_________________________________________________________
people say that, sometimes, you only come to the realization that someone means so much to you only when he's already gone...
but that only happens sometimes...
because more often than not, you're already aware of how much someone means to you...
more often than not, they don't have to be gone for you to realize their significance...
therefore, the problem is not the realization of someone's significance in your life.
the problem is that no matter how much you know that someone is significant to you, you are also aware that time will come when you have to go separate ways...
and you are aware that when that time comes, you can't do anything about it...
but sometimes, you only acknowledge that fact --- the fact that the time will come when you have to part ways with someone who means so much to you and you can't do anything about it... --- when that someone is about to be gone...
_________________________________________________________
the hardest thing about parting ways with someone you held dear in your heart is not the idea that you're about to go on separate ways...
it is not the idea of "parting ways" that makes it so difficult...
the hardest thing is that you never know when you will meet again...
a decade, maybe?
you never know...
that's what makes it so scary....
the unknown.
_________________________________________________________
hugs are for everyone.
or so they say...
there are different kinds of hugs.... for me, that is.
there is the "friendly hug".
this is the hug that you give your acquaintances...
there is the "i'm-lucky-to-have-you-as-my-friend hug".
this is the hug that you give to your closest friends...
then, there's this "thank-you-so-much hug".
this is a self-explanatory hug... hehehe....
there's this "don't-be-so-sad hug"...
there's a "i'm-always-here-for-you hug"..
there's this "i-believe-in-you hug"..
there's also this "i-won't-promise-anything-but-i'm-going-to-do-my-best hug"...
however, there is this "special hug"...
a hug that you only give to the people whom you feel the so-called "special love"...
special love?
that is the love wherein "you are willing to take the bullet that is intended for someone else"..
who told me that definition of special love?
just... someone..
someone.
________________________________________________________
hmm...
ayan... till here na nga muna...
nauubusan din ako ng ilalagay sa entries ko eh... =D
1:02 PM
Y Y Y
untitled
Sunday, April 22, 2007
--> currently listening to "nazo" opening song, detective conan...
hmm... i've read that akanishi jin went back to japan yesterday april 19...
yay!!!
bumalik na xa...
hehehe....
so, im now currently on chapter one of my upcoming story...
and everything's tentative for now...
i had a weird dream two nights ago... about this certain girl...
of course, nothing's weird about dreams...
ang hindi ko lang gets... bakit wala ako sa sarili kong dream... yun yung weird dun eh... hindi weird yang paglitaw ng kung sinu-sinong tauhan sa dream co... normal yan... that's the work of the subconscious mind... pero, yung ako mismo wala sa dream ko, yun ay weird...
first time ko magkaroon ng ganung dream...
anyway... sa dream ko na yun, madaming tao...
pero hindi ko sila kilala...
madaming tao pero nakafocus yung "camera" ng dream ko sa iilang tao... pero hindi ko pa din kilala...
merong five guys... tpos may isang girl...
i don't know her... pero sa dream ko, sinabi yung name nia...
cool name... prang bida sa isang novel... pero hindi naman ganun kaweird yung name so it's possible na may tao talagng ganun ung pangalan...
dun sa entire dream ko, naririnig ko yung mga conversation ng lahat ng nandun... it's as if i'm the cameraman tuloy... alam ko pa nga na talagang pinakikinggan ko yung mga usapan nla kasi feeling ko tlga mahalagang marinig ko yun...
ewan pero i just felt na it's really crucial for me to listen..
as far as i can remember, i can clearly hear all those conversations going on in my dream...
and as far as i know, i managed to understand what they're talking about...
the conversations sounded important... bsta...
pero, paggising ko, wala na.... hindi ko na maalala yung mga narinig ko... i can remember everything about that dream except for those conversations...
tapos yung anim na tao dun sa dream ko, hindi ko pa talaga sila nakikita...
i was thinking nga na maybe actors sila... pero hndi tlga eh... hai...
well, normal is boring...
yesterday, i went to up diliman para sa SLEP...
Secondary Level English Proficiency..
requirement ng AFS kasi... ayun...
madali lang... may listening selection... cool nga eh.. program tlga xa... tapos may reading comprehension na part...
para ka lang ngperiodical exam... mas mdami nga lng... 145 items eh...
pero simple lng kasi wlng poetry interpretation... hehehe...
tapos aun... eh si papa kasi siya yung naghatid sakin sa up ksi on the way din ng pupuntahan nia...
mga 1:25pm nsa up na aco... then tinawagan ko si papa mga past 5 na... ngpasundo na ako...
hindi naman sa ganun katagal ung exam... actually mbilis lng tlga ung test... ngstart lng kmi mga 3pm na... tpos mga 5, tapos na... then aun... kwentuhan muna...
only girl ako pero ok lng.. hndi nman OP... =D
tapos aun, cnundo na ako ni papa... may pupuntahan pa kasi kmi... we promised kasi eh...
then, hanggang dian nlng ang pgkkwento ko ng ngyari khapon...
one can never reveal everything.. right?
--->> recognition: the doggy-treat for mankind... <<---
definitely true...
let's all admit it...
humans crave recognition...
recognition for a specific talent.. recognition for what you have.. recognition for what you accomplished... the list goes on and on...
human beings want to be recognized..
that is why some people want to acquire power and authority... because they keep on thinking and believing that if they have power and/or authority, they would be recognized...
everyone has a sign hanging on his/her head saying: ATTENTION!...
no matter who you are, no matter what you do.. it is human nature... no one can oppose that... and no matter how much mankind denies that instinct of wanting recognition, we can't. because it is exactly what it is: INSTINCT.
JA NE!! (madaling araw na pla... heehee...)
12:28 AM
Y Y Y
in the making...
Monday, April 16, 2007
hmm...
sort of busy... that's why i haven't updated for about... hmm... let's see...
heehee...
parang ang tagal namang hindi ako nagupdate ah... tsk... **dripping with sarcasm**
yay!!
ansaya.... heehee... may cable na ulit kami! sky cable na... weeeeeee....
it only means one thing...
**wide wide WIDE grin**
may animax....
bwahaha....
i love this life... mwa mwa....
so... i'm currently doing an outline for my newest novel-in-the-making...
i was doing that since yesterday... so that's one of the hundred reasons why my fone is not quite that active nowadays...
hmm...
erm,, so the setting of my story is on other dimensions/worlds...
i would have loved to create a story based on the real world but it would be very difficult.
and by very... i mean VERY.
i mean, if the story's setting would be based on the real world, there would be lots of facts and things that i have to know...
that would mean only one thing: RESEARCH.
ugh....
so, by setting my story on an alternate universe.. i would be able to fabricate my own sets of rules..
i can make it rain and shine, simultaneously.
i can fashion monsters based from my imagination.
there are a thousand things that i can do if the setting is in another world...
in short: I OWN THE RULES.
and that rocks.... T-O-T-A-L-L-Y.
now, stop rambling...
so, the setting is in another world.
yay! and the characters... hmm... there would be several characters...
few major, though.
that would make it easier to develop the characters... which is awesome.
i want characters who are realistic.
i hate stereotypes...
hmm...
how about the plot...??
so, i love stories with twists...
LOTS OF TWISTS....
and i adore authors who are still able to put twists even at the last five or so pages...
therefore, i would love to do that. =D
and, btw... symbolisms in a story are also my favorite...
i love novels that contains lots of symbolisms..
symbolisms about the author's emotions and life...
symbolisms about the author's perspective...
symbolisms about all sorts of things...
cool. right?
maybe some people will disagree.
well, that's how life goes.
you can't expect everyone to agree with you. ne?
so... hmm... how about the point of view...??
the omniscient point of view is typical.
the reader knows what each character does and thinks.
common.
quite easier to manage compared to other points of view...
but, still... common.
normal is boring, as i always love to say.
so, in this novel-in-the-making that i'm striving to finish, i would use a first-person point of view..
a multiple-person point of view is also a choice... but by using this, it would distribute the emphasis of character depth... and in my novel-in-the-making, i want my major protagonist to be developed deeply and intricately...
so, one more left.
how about the theme?
hmm... that one is difficult because in my outline, i have several themes that fits my story...
and... my outline is not yet done.
i need to ask some questions... i need some sort of a feedback of ideas... so gotta go. poof!
hey... till here... so hot... ugh...
ja ne!!!
10:10 PM
Y Y Y
multi-faceted
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
sometimes, i wonder about myself...
there are times when i want to mingle with lots of people...
then, there are times when i want to be alone in my room, pondering my thoughts...
looking out from the window...
watching and observing the people passing by...
because, every one of those people walking on the street, eating inside a restaurant, or doing whatever it is that they are doing.. they all have stories... they all have different lives... they all have other people that they care for.. they all have something to wish for.. they all have dreams.. and by observing them, i would at least be able to assume something about them and, maybe i would be able to grasp a tiny thread of their existence...
just a tiny, tiny thread...
sometimes, i wonder about myself...
why i like to observe strangers...
when people ask me about that, i usually reply with "nag-iisip lang po para sa character development at plot ng story ko..."
and they would accept that explanation.
partly, totoo ung explanation ko...
that is, PARTLY.
pero, when i pondered on it... i realized na hindi ko din alam ang reason ko...
maybe it's because of the influence of my favorite character and his unusual habits...
maybe it's because of my fondness of the psychology of people...
maybe it's because i have this tendency to fabricate stories about those people that i watch...
i don't really have any idea about the reason behind that...
maybe someday, i would be able to know...
and maybe someday, everything will make sense...
i have this unusual (or weird..) way of thinking...
sometimes, what i do is different from what i think i should do...
sometimes, i do things that deviates from the expected...
yeah, i may be a little bit unpredictable..
just a little bit.
Most of our life is a series of images. They pass us by like towns on the highway. But sometimes, a moment stuns us as it happens. And we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image. We know that this moment... every part of it... will live on forever. - Lucas Scott, One Tree Hill
multi-faceted...?? hmm...
cheerful yet serious...
trusting yet guarded...
hmm... naalala ko tuloy yung nabasa ko...
sabi dun: sweet but cold.. like an icecream...
personality yung pinag-uusapan... i'm just wondering how one can be sweet yet cold at the same time.. isn't that ironic?? heehee... but then, i realized na pwde ngang mngyari yan...
sweet but cold...
sweet in the sense that the person is, well, sweet... as the word suggests...
cold in the sense that the person seems to be keeping something... cold as in there is something in his/her personality that he/she does not want other people to know...
ironic but true...
headlines in the yahoo frontpage says that "there are signs of water on a planet outside our solar system.."
i haven't read the entire article yet...
but, the idea of other forms of life outside our solar system is very probable...
come to think of it, the big bang theory is the most accepted theory about the beginning of the universe, right? well, the big bang theory states that the universe started with the explosion of a small amount of extremely dense matter.. (microsoft encarta dictionary)
now, is it really... erm.. appropriate... for us to believe that in that billionth of a second wherein the entire universe was created, human beings were the only intelligent species to come out?????
i mean, isn't it possible that for every galaxy, there would be at least one planet that can harbor life? and i don't exactly mean human life.... just, life in general.
okay, that was maybe a bit farfetched... just a bit.
or maybe, for every hundreds of galaxies, there is at least one planet that can sustain life...
or maybe, for every thousands of galaxies, there is one planet like the earth... or not like the earth, but can sustain life... and i don't exactly mean those thin and transparent aliens seen in the movies... maybe the extraterrestrial life that i'm talking about is somewhat "human-like"... or maybe not. depends... no one knows for sure...
but, i just can't accept that the planet earth is the only planet that has intelligent species living in it..
i mean, look at the scientific history of the world...
ptolemy said that the earth is the center of the universe and all the other heavenly bodies are merely revolving around it..
then, he was proved to be wrong.
the earth is just a mere dust in the universe compared to other gigantic planets...
the only thing that differs our planet is that here, life can exist.
it is said that we should take care of our planet because it is the only planet that can harbor life.
i don't truly believe that.
yeah, of course, we should take care of our planet because it is the only known planet that can harbor human beings..
but i don't fully believe that it is the only planet in the entire universe that has life...
the universe is immense... we don't know about other galaxies... about other planets... we don't know if there are other species living out there... we don't know...
but we don't have to close out all the possibilities.
right?
because, no one should.
what if the possibility that the earth might not be the center of the universe has been closed out?
what if the possibility that the earth might not be flat has been closed out?
now, what would happen?
don't think. don't imagine.
that would be unimaginable...
life is a series of decisions and possibilities...
we must be open-minded... but not too much...
extend your imagination.
expand your knowledge.
but, know the limit.
this may be weird for some people.
but i don't care. i should not. right?
normal is boring.
odd is cool.
besides, i don't really think that this is weird...
(of course not.. these are my thoughts, why should i think that my thoughts are weird?)
i mean to say that i don't think that this entry is weird because people talk about it. what should account as weird is if i wrote here about a certain space alien character dancing with a medieval warrior on the rooftop in Japan right? hehehe... oo na, weird na kung weird...
hehe...
again, normal is boring.
and i'm not saying that i am abnormal or psychotic...
just, unique.
heehee...
JA NE!!
8:46 PM
Y Y Y
shinjitsu wa itsumo hitotsu...
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
yay...
maligalig na araw...
kamusta ang cards-out day ng cmshs??
hmm..??
nagulat aco s news ni itay marjohn... naxx... ang galing...
huwawwww....
sunud-sunod ang happiness ah... kinakabahan tuloy ako bukas...
why?
it's because of newton's third law...
nevermind...
i'm happy today... so it's only fair that i would be sad the next day...
right?
heehee... we watched two movies (dvd...)
sabi, pikit daw ako tpos hila ako ng kahit anung mahawakan dun sa dvd cabinet...
ayan, ang nahila ko ay Artificial Intelligence, directed by Steven Spielberg...
i love the script of that movie...
"humans are the only beings that have dreams... and are capable of chasing their dreams to fulfillment.."
"Blue Fairy, make me a real, live boy, please.."
"i am special! i am unique! i am one of a kind!"
"how can you make humans love a robot?"
"i only want mommy to love me..."
"a space-time pathway can only be used once... after that, no more.. we can reconstruct your mommy for a day.. but when she sleeps and losses consciousness, she'll die once again."
"but, you are real... as real as i've made you..."
hmm... even though napanood ko na yun dati pa... 2001 pa... ganda pa din ng movie... it speaks of the emotions... human emotions that a robot should not - could not - feel... the movie seems to be a modern fairy tale for the sci-fi lovers out there... the story itself is not farfetched... malay natin sa future ganun nga talaga ang mangyari.. mechanical human na ang pakalat-kalat dian sa mga kalye.. we can't be so sure...
maybe.
maybe not.
but, still, there is a possibility. and that is something, at least.
next movie? i closed my eyes and pulled the dvd located at the farthest right side of the cabinet.
coincidence kaya ito?
steven spielberg nnman eh.
war of the worlds.
napanood ko na din yan. kaya nga nasa likod na part ng dvd cabinet eh... kasi matagal na yan. tsk. eh adeek ako kaya dun ako humila ng dvd... heehee...
nyahaha...
bkt gnun, iba itsura ni tom cruise sa "Interview with the Vampire" compared dito..?
mas matured xa tignan dito... sabagay, iba ang role...
malayo ang pagiging vampire sa pagiging ordinary citizen fighting for your life and for the lives of the people you care for.
hahaha....
pero, pansin ko lang (hindi lang naman ako diba?) si tom cruise, kahit anong role nia, cute pdn.
**winkwink**
haha... diba propphi? tama aco dba? nyeehee...
ang detective conan, merong live action series... si oguri shun ang gumanap bilang shinichi kudo...
si oguri shun kasama din sa gokusen1...
hmm... cute si oguri shun... pero...
anime pdn tlga aco!
wala pdng pdeng maging kalevel ng anime eh... (are jin, kame, and koike exemptions???)
kaninang morning, while waiting here... (nyao, waiting for what? hmm... haha.) i watched a video of Real Face by KAT-TUN... ankyooooot nila... heehee...
pati ung video ng "Murasaki" by akanishi jin...
propphi, (i know you will read this) you should watch the video of Murasaki... it's really, really, really, really, really cute...
**drool** JOKE. JUST KIDDIN.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hmm...
there is this favorite motto of one of my favorite anime characters...
"shinjitsu wa itsumo hitotsu"
or can be translated to...
"there is only one truth"
maybe it is a naive thought... since the word "truth" is relative...
but.. somehow.. amidst all the oppositions for this belief.. i still believe that there is only one truth.
how come i believe that?
it's because there IS only one truth...
i said earlier that "truth" is relative...
relative by means of the subject's perspective.
therefore, for every single human being existing in the planet, there is a single approach or perspective that he/she has...
and for that single perspective, he/she believes in a single truth.
anyway, whoever said that the motto "there is only one truth" applies to the entire world generally?
of course, generally speaking, the motto is quite unacceptable.
but looking individually, it is absolutely true...
there is only truth.
and that truth depends upon the perspective of the subject... of the person...
meitantei kudo is still right on the spot. :D
A FEW QUOTES...
I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas? -Jean Kerr
--> nice one! heehee... cornee pero may effect...
Arguments over grammar and style are often as fierce as those over IBM versus Mac, and as fruitless as Coke versus Pepsi and boxers versus briefs. -Jack Lynch
--> wahahaha... natawa aco dito.. yes naman! oo nga naman diba, why wud u argue about the style of writing... cguro sa grammar pde bang pagtalunan pero yung style kasi, kanya-kanya na yan eh... naman!
Believe nothing just because a so-called wise person said it. Believe nothing just because a belief is generally held. Believe nothing just because it is said in ancient books. Believe nothing just because it is said to be of divine origin. Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true. -Buddha
--> i don't pray to Buddha... i don't even care about Buddhism... but one thing's for sure, i do love his dogmas.
True friendship consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their worth and value. -Ben Jonson
--> yan... hehe... quality over quantity... self-explanatory naman yan...
The idea of death, the fear of it, haunts the human animal like nothing else; it is a mainspring of human activity - designed largely to avoid the fatality of death, to overcome it by denying in some way that it is the final destiny of man. - Ernest Becker
--> daming sinabi, isa lang naman meaning. try to read it carefully.... mr. Becker just used a lot of difficult words to make the sentence longer than what was supposed to be...
ayan... till here!
always keep in mind that life is as great as you want it to be... hugs for everyone...
9:26 PM
Y Y Y
amaranthine...
Monday, April 9, 2007
hmm...
lalala.. lala.. lalalala...
haha... maligalig ang buhai co ngaun... ewan co ba... bkit nga ba?
hmmm... mejo prng dalawang tao lang (maliban sakin) ang nakakaalam kung bakit...
heehee... lalala... lala.. lalalala...
hai...
dpat ngang magpakasaya ngaun... and tomorrow din... and the entire week... because that'd be the last week that you'd be here...
nyaxx... drama... tapos bbsahin mo toh... tsk... hehe... okay lan... as if naman hndi mo alam na i'm this sentimental, right?
separating ways is inevitable.
i'm sure of that.
but, we'll meet again....
someday...
somewhere...
somehow...
i don't believe in serendipity...
i don't even believe in destiny...
but if ever that happens... maybe.. just maybe, i would believe.
the first year, we'll keep in touch...
but time will cause us to fall apart...
and in ten years, we'll soon be living separate lives...
hmm...
but no matter what... you will always be in my heart,, that won't change.
and i'm hoping the same thing from you...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"you will always be my girl.."
"hm? forever?"
"forever is a long time..."
"hmm... so, until when?"
"until i fade away... is that enough?"
"hmm... you don't believe in the afterlife? just kidding."
"i can't promise anything about the afterlife because that is still an unknown factor."
"yeah right, Mr. Lawyer...i'm just kidding...!"
"i'm just explaining... so... erm..."
"yeah, yeah... that's enough for a promise."
"it's not a promise."
"what?"
"it's not a promise. because promises are in danger of being broken."
"then what is it?"
"it's a guarantee."
"hmm?"
"you know what i mean."
"oh."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"why do u want to be a lawyer?"
"because i want to."
"i'm asking you why..."
"because i know that i can be."
"you're not answering the question.."
"it's because the question is paradoxical."
"okay fine."
"it's like asking why the world is flat..."
"that's too much, you know that?"
"heh... or asking why i'm a boy.."
"it's because you're not a girl."
"exactly. it's paradoxical..."
"fine. point taken. but, why a lawyer? why not a surgeon?"
"that's similar to asking why i like you and not *states name of classmate*"
"er.."
"it's simply because i want to. that's my only reason."
"oh."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
by the way, AMARANTHINE means undying or unfading...
JA NE!!!
8:15 PM
Y Y Y
prolix...
Just a few thoughts to begin with...
"What's worse, new wounds which are so horribly painful or old wounds that should've healed years ago and never did? Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we've been and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think. But that's not the way it is, is it? Some things we just have to learn over and over and over again."
-- Meredith, Grey's Anatomy
"People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret roadmaps of their personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers."
-- Meredith, Grey's Anatomy
"In some ways, betrayal is inevitable. When our bodies betray us, surgery is often the key to recovery. When we betray each other, the path to recovery is less clear. We do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust that was lost. And then there are some wounds, some betrayals... that are so deep, so profound that there is no way to repair what was lost. And when that happens, there's nothing left to do but wait."
-- Cristina, Grey's Anatomy
"There are times when even the best of us have trouble with commitment, and we may be surprised at the commitments we're willing to let slip out of our grasp. Commitments are complicated. We may surprise ourselves by the commitments we're willing to make, true commitment, takes effort, and sacrifice. Which is why sometimes, we have to learn the hard way, to choose our commitments very carefully."
-- Meredith, Grey's Anatomy
"At any given moment, the brain has 14 billion neurons firing at a speed of 450 miles per hour. We don’t have control over most of them. When we get a chill... goose bumps. When we get excited... adrenaline. The body naturally follows it’s impulses, which I think is part of what makes it so hard for us to control ours. Of course, sometimes we have impulses we would rather not control, that we later wish we had."
-- Meredith, Grey's Anatomy
"Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All any of us can wants, is more time. Time to stand up. Time to grow up. Time to let go."
-- Meredith, Grey's Anatomy
HAPPY 20TH MONTHSARY MEISHINOU!
Hmm...
someone just told my bestfriend that it would be better if she would just kill him...
he told my bestfriend that there's nothing wrong with the idea of him loving her...
okay, fine. there is nothing wrong about that idea...
there's nothing wrong about loving...
but the idea of forcing someone that was supposed to be the "one you love" into breaking her promise to her late father just so that you would feel that she's willing to do everything for you is totally wrong.
TOTALLY.
so ganun na ba yun ngayon?
sabi ng taong yun sakin, dapat daw gawin ng bestfriend ko ang lahat para sa kanya kung mahal nga siya.
nonsense.
anong patutunayan diyan eh may reserve ka nga kaagad?!!
it would be better if she would just kill you?
i don't think so.
idadamay mo pa sa kalokohan mo bestfriend ko.
and i really don't believe that you want to die...
you just think that you want to die...
and that's nonsense...
grabe pare, 4th year ka pa lang... gusto mo ng mamatay?
at 4th year ka pa lang, ganyan ka na kaadik dian s sinasabi mong "love"..???
at most, you're just 16... and the average person can live up to 80...
look at that...
wala ka pa nga sa kalahati ng average lifespan... tsk... tpos gsto mong mamatay?
tsk... you're being an epitome of pusillanimity...
coward...
how i hate cowards who don't even have the guts to stand up for what they believe in...
i hate cowards who don't even try to do something before babbling about how they won't be able to do so...
i hate cowards who blame other people for the mistakes that they've made...
i hate cowards who think that death is the best way to escape pain...
escape pain? that's it, in the end.... all you ever did is to escape...
have you tried fighting pain? have you ever tried facing it?
if your answer is no, then what is your worth?
all you want is to escape...?
sometimes, hitting the ESC button in the keyboard won't do any good to a word document that has gone wrong...
in the keyboard, you can press the backspace button if something has gone wrong...
but, in real life... one cannot do that.
you simply have to go ahead... continue... never stop...
because in life, escape and delete aren't important...
no matter how much you want to undo the mistakes that you've made or no matter how much you want to escape your problems and the pains that you can feel... you won't be able to do so.
and death wouldn't be able to give you the escape that you want to have.
because escape means freedom.
and death is not the key to freedom.
JA NE!
6:43 PM
Y Y Y
unyielding wish
Sunday, April 8, 2007
don't mind the title of this entry.
just, actually... crossed my mind... dunno why or how...
hmm... let's try to interpret the title, anyhow...
unyielding wish...
hmmm... sort of, a clue...
but, a clue to what???
i don't even know.
what is an "unyielding wish"?
is that a wish that one cannot fulfill?
or is that a wish that just WON'T happen, no matter what one does..?
neither ways, an unyielding wish is still a wish.
and one shouldn't just let a wish go... hold on to it.
someday... just, maybe...
it would come true...
and it won't help a lot if you already gave up on its possibility of coming true, right?
so, hold on to it.
hold on tight.
A FEW QUOTES...
“Does expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?”
---> a paradoxical question... tsk... but it makes me wonder... hmm...
“Let’s hope intelligent life exists in space. I’m so lonely here.”
---> haha... arrogant little human, ain't we? heehee... pero what a nice quote...
"Hope--that bubbling ingredient in life which is like carbonation in a drink, giving it zest, keeping it in motion, always pushing it up."
---> hope... that's one of the things in the world that i love rambling about. when everyone else dies and everything that you've known is destroyed, Hope is the thing that would keep you alive.. heh...
"What's true of biology is also true of faith. If it isn't growing, it's probably dead."
---> naxx... biology and faith... look at that, the quote merged science and religion. heehee...
"Part of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at."
---> that's right. being smart is not measured on your IQ tests... or your academic excellence... tsk... everyone is dumb at one certain part of life...even geniuses have to unwind sometimes...
"A ship at harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are built for."
---> another quote related to my belief about "comfort zones"... safe but worthless...
"People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within."
---> i believe that this quote is somewhat self-explanatory... and it's really true...
"It's not that I'm afraid to die; I just don't want to be there when it happens."
---> hehehe.. ironically, i believe that... heehee... i just can't seem to imagine how a person could die without being there when it happens... hmm...
"We come into this world crying while others rejoice. Live your life so that when you leave this world others cry while you rejoice."
---> this is how i want to go... i want to die (someday, that is..) feeling fulfilled and happy... feeling worthy... and those people who will be left, they would be crying because someone as special as me (ahem!) have left the world.. tsk.. (one can never be too arrogant while rambling eh?)
"Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses"--Alphonse Karr
---> a quote about optimism and pessimism... self-explanatory din, i believe...
hmm... maikli ang entry ko ngaun... hmmm... well, maybe....
maybe, later... something would cross my mind and i'll put it to writing.
sabi ng isang nakapagbasa ng blog ko, nosebleed daw mga entries ko...
hmm. i don't think so pdn tlga.
i may be rambling. but i know that whoever reads this would be able to understand what i'm talking about.
i'm not saying that everyone who reads this would be able to comprehend...
people would understand. not comprehend. because they aren't me.
to understand about a certain thing is different from comprehending why that thing existed.
to understand about the thoughts shown here is very different from comprehending why those thoughts existed.
it's like this: you hear a stranger speaking French with a sad look on his face.
let's just say that you know hwo to speak and understand French.
that is why you can understand what he is talking about.
but you won't be able to comprehend why he is talking like that.
or you won't be able to comprehend why that smile is so sad...
you understand, but you can't comprehend.
get the difference?
ja ne!
7:14 AM
Y Y Y
true love waits...
Friday, April 6, 2007
if you really love someone, wouldn't you wait for her?
if you really love someone, wouldn't you do anything for her?
damn.
some guys say that they are serious about a particular girl...
but then, they will say that they can't wait.
what the hell...
why do some guys want to have what they want right now with little effort???
no pain, no gain..
and it's not as if the girl wants to torture him by making him wait...
there are reasons for everything.
okay, fine.
nakaranas ka ng sakit...
iniwan ka ng mahal mo after mo maghintay ng matagal...
so what?
does that make every single girl in the whole world similar to that girl who left you?
does that make it so frightening to love again?
okay, cge... nakakatakot nga.
pero, dahil dun s pangyayaring yun, magiging mas matatag ka..
hindi mo man napapansin, nagiging mas matibay ka..
pain is needed for people to grow.
oo nga, hindi maganda ang pain...
kahit kelan, hindi naging maganda sa pakiramdam ang pain...
pero kahit ganun man...
yang pain na yan...
yan ang nagpapalakas sa tao.
kelan b ngyaring napatatag ng happiness ang isang tao??
hindi e..
pain un.
sadness.
grief.
those negative emotions that one can feel...
if used properly, will be able to strengthen a human soul.
kanya-kanyang perspective lang yan.
the pain that didn't kill you will make you stronger.
iniwan ka ng mahal mo...
may ginawa ka ba para hindi k nia iwan..???
kung wala, manahimik k na lang dhil may kasalanan ka din s ngyari.
wala kang ginawa.
kung meron, manahimik ka n lang din.
nangyari na yun, wala ka ng magagawa pa.
pero at least, pwde mong sabihin na hindi ikaw ung tanga para pakawalan xa ng walang ginagawa.
masasabi mong siya ung tanga dahil umalis siya.
pero kahit alin man dian, ngyari na yun...
umalis siya.
pero kahit kelan, wag mong ssbihing iniwan ka niya.
dahil hindi ka naiwan.
sa paghihiwalay, walang nangiwan at walang naiwan.
naghiwalay.
gets?
ang ibang tao, pag nasaktan.. natatakot nang magmahal uli...
what the hell...
puro "what if"...
what if nasaktan ulit ako?
what if iniwan ulit ako?
what if? what if? what if....
you don't keep on asking "what if" because you won't know till you try.
and you won't be able to try unless you're not afraid to do so.
if you keep on being afraid, what would happen to you..?
life is unpredictable.
life is a game.
and in this game, one should play wisely.
and have fun while dong so.
we only have one shot in this game...
one chance.
that's why you have to make the most of it.
how would you be able to play wisely and have fun if you're afraid to play?
i'm not saying that people should not be afraid.
fear is inevitable.
it is programmed in our brains.
but the thing is that, you don't have to wallow in fear all the time.
okay the, be afraid for a second or a minute.
then, go ahead.
live your life.
push those fears into the back of your brain.
you are the master of your destiny.
you have the control of your mind and body.
fear is a state of the mind.
ONLY a state of mind.
a pitch black room: fear for the unknown... or fear of darkness...
lost in a forest: fear again....
gunpoint: fear of dying...
okay fine.
fear of those things.
it's not as if fear is illegal.
but, if you simply let fear overcome you..
how would you get out of the pitch black room or the forest?
how would you try to get yourself away from the man who's holding you at gunpoint?
fear is disabling.
that is why it is dangerous.
hmmm... papayagan kaya akong sumama kay propphi??
hehe.
nakakaadik pdin c akanishi jin...
ankyooooooooooooooot nia...
enjoy cguro mging detective.
dangerous.
pero enjoy.
isipin mo na lang pag nahuli mo ung criminal...
justice for the victim yun.
at nabawasam amg kumakalat na masasamang loob sa mundo.
lalo na pag forensic evidences ung iniinterpret mo..
mental challenge yun!
ang iba kasi, hindi pinapansin ung mga pinakaimportanteng bagay sa isng crime scene.
trace evidences.
ang napapansin nila yng mga murder weapons, ung mga malalaking nakakalat sa scene...
pero diba, kung matalino ang criminal, bkt xa mgiiwan ng pakalat-kalat na gamit dian?
isa lang meaning nun: planted evidences.
para madistract ang investigators sa totoong plan ng criminal...
or para maguluhan ang investigators sa totoong identity ng unsub... (unknown subject)
ang pinakamahalagang evidence ay ung hindi pdeng imanipulate.
trace evidences.
dirt, hair, latent prints, body fluids, skin cells...
evidences are more trustworthy than witnesses.
never trust witnesses.
yan lang yun.
ang tao, pdeng imanipulate.
ang evidence, hindi.
well... epekto ng mxadong naaadik sa forensic science...
pati na din sa vampires.
kaya lang, kahit maadik ako sa vampires, wala naman akong mahahanapan ng facts about sa kanila.
konti lang yun.
ung past vampires lang ng transylvanian court.
pero sa forensic science, madaming sources.
hmmm...
till here... till later...
JA NE!
4:50 AM
Y Y Y
blood fever
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
yay...
i've finished reading two books yesterday...
it felt GREAT..
nakakatakot ung unang book na binasa co...
title nia "a deadly game of magic"...
about 200 pages lang xa... ung thickness ng book half lang ng books nila jeffery deaver pero...
pero...
huwaw...
natakot aco nung binabasa co un.
tsk...
hehehehe...
then, ung second book...
title nia "huntress"
ang ganda...
series kasi e... 6 books na ung lumalabas... apat pa kulang ko... tsk..
it's all about four different "worlds"...
the world of the werewolves...
the world of the witches..
the world of the vampires...
the world of the humans...
ayan...
tapos may prophecy...
one from the land of kings long forgotten;
one from the hearth which still holds the spark;
one from the Day World where two eyes are watching;
one from the twilight to be one with the dark.
four to stand between the light and the shadow,
four of blue fire, power in their blood.
born in the year of the blind Maiden's vision;
four less one and darkness triumphs.
ang galing...
apat yung hinahanap na Wild Power... or yung apat na magliligtas sa world..
or magddestroy s world.
dalawa na yung kilala ko.
hehehe...
yung galing sa Day World at yung galing sa "twilight"...
so ang missing in action na lang ay yung dalawang tao dun sa first two lines...
tao nga ba?
yung galing sa Day World... half human... half vampire...
yung galing sa "twilight"... full-blooded vampire...
so, kamusta naman kaya yung dalawa pang natitirang Wild Power??
la lan.
natutuwa ako sa mga vampires...
yung mga description kasi sa kanila, parang they're so gorgeous... (0_o)
pero, well... that's quite acceptable since they are AGELESS...
right?
hehe...
so, now... i'm currently reading jeffery deaver's "bone collector"...
asteeg...
gusto ko maging detective!!!
hehehe...
vampire/detective...
pde ba yan?
tsk...
imagination nnman... ngssoar ng todo...
--message from itay marjohn--
Leaving a love you've suddenly outgrown can be heartbreaking,
but it also shows you're strong enough to walk away from a relationship that no longer makes you happy.
Moving out of your comfort zone can be downright scary,
but it also proves on how brave you are to take on the unknown.
stronger.
braver.
wiser.
you always do a little growing up everytime you do a little letting go.
i definitely agree!!!
ang galing ng message...
totoo naman talaga e...
you can only measure how brave a person is through something that he doesn't know yet.
something that can be considered as "unknown".
something that is far from his secured life.
people can be arrogant, saying that they are brave and the such...
they would do things to impress others...
but try getting them into something different.
something that would be far from what they used to know and do...
something that requires a little "change"...
see how they cope with it..
and see how they can handle fear...
a computer genius would confidently handle data and information at hand with the use of computers... but try bringing him out of that comfort zone... try placing him OUTSIDE the range of his computers...
a soldier would confidently shoot his enemies... he is at his element.. and he should not fear. but try placing him in a different set-up... something that would move him OUTSIDE his element...
a kid would confidently arrange a set of jigsaw puzzle pieces... the kid knows that he will be able to do so because he is always doing it at home... but try giving him a different jigsaw puzzle... try giving him a bigger jigsaw puzzle...
got it?
people want security.
they feel safe when they are inside their comfort zones.
but, if you simply lock yourself inside those zones...
you wouldn't be able to find out if you can do better than what you can already do..
you wouldn't be able to know what else resides outside those zones...
you wouldn't be able to grow...
and growth is a thing that should never be hindered.
JA NE! *winkwink*
4:05 AM
Y Y Y
